[Fuzzybear]

Possible trigger:

I can be of use, I can be “pleasant” to talk to, for a while. I can be a support, for a while. I’ve even been told I’ve saved peoples lives.

Me? That vile worthless ..... maybe they were lying to try to make me feel better. Yes that must be it.

Then most of them leave. They come back, sometimes, to speak to their “real friends”

And I’m on that window sill with the other broken toys

I’m like a teddy bear, but real teddy bears don’t have to force themselves to stay alive in a

cruel world, they just are ..

I’m “just feeling sorry for myself”

I probably should delete this,

I wish I could delete me

(Not about anyone on pc)

[Rohag]

((((((( )))))))

((((((( Fuzzybear )))))))

[CepheidVariable]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I can be of use, I can be “pleasant” to talk to, for a while. I can be a support, for a while. I’ve even been told I’ve saved peoples lives.

That's so much. I'm sorry it doesn't feel better right now.

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

..... maybe they were lying to try to make me feel better. Yes that must be it.

I've always looked for something genuine when trying to make people feel better. They usually can sense even well-meaning insincerity and it backfires horribly. And it's not just me. That's what I hear and read about elsewhere. Maybe you could try to take it more at face value.

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Then most of them leave. They come back, sometimes, to speak to their “real friends”

As far as I know that happens to everyone, even "popular" people. People come and go. They drift apart. It sucks. We should do better. But it isn't just you.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

"On that window sill with the other broken toys"....

Aaaaahhh.

A friend who made me feel like that would not be a 'friend' for long.

Life's hard enough, with bosses and relatives and making ends meet.

Turn your face to the people who like you.

[Fuzzybear]

Thank you I do take things at face value, most of the time. That’s definitely healthier than the other. ..... The parental units lied about everything. Occasionally that dysfunction makes me.... feel sad and probably have some cognitive distortions.

I’m not the greatest at keeping in touch sometimes myself. My apologies if this post (my post above) upset anyone. That was not my intention

I am terrible at self care. It doesn’t get easier, it gets harder. That’s my “problem” I don’t really want to be here at all

I was “taught” that ANY self care made me Selfish and Evil.

Today is sub optimal. Tonight so far is worse,

But, I’m a survivor.

Ugh, I know how that feels!!

I started to write out these stories, but what does it matter now. These friends are gone. Painful stories of being shut out. One of them my family even helped financially.

So tired.

You hang in there Fuzzy

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by key tones

Ugh, I know how that feels!!

I started to write out these stories, but what does it matter now. These friends are gone. Painful stories of being shut out. One of them my family even helped financially.

So tired.

(((((( key tones )))))))

I’m sorry ...

Yes those who we thought were friends have gone. I too have painful stories of being shut out
(I deleted most of what I wrote in this post)

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by CepheidVariable

They [people] usually can sense even well-meaning insincerity and it backfires horribly.

Well said; I agree.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by key tones

You hang in there Fuzzy

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Well said; I agree.

I agree too

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

They were projecting on to you, imo, by calling you selfish and evil.

It's how they felt about themselves (probably, if you listen hard, you can hear their parents screaming the words at them).

That doesn't necessarily make it any easier.

I didn't forgive my father until some time after he was dead (he died when I was in my early twenties).

My judgement will always be skewed, after the terrors he put me and my siblings and mother through. It is, for example, a big factor in my not having children. I was determined to break the cycle. It's not that I would have been cruel to a child of mine. I certainly would not. But I might have become too depressed to care for/defend them, like my mother was.

I have moments, of course, of missing the children I'll probably never have.

[MtnTime2896]

((((Fuzzybear))))