[Junerain]

As many of you know, I have had quite a terrible time holding on to jobs....lost too many to count...well I've kept one for 2 years now, and my histrionic part of me as my Pdoc calls it is quite satisfied as it is at a family owned restaurant with quite an eccentric, loud family that keeps me on my toes and provides lots of drama for my drama seeking part of me. I heard stories from people in the town where the restaurant is located about the owner slapping his wife in front of all the customers, and I believed it, as everyone there has tempers that are unbelieveable...(they can also be really, really nice too....) Well saturday morning the owner, wife and son got into a fight so bad I heard the wife scream like she was being hurt...all the customers left and called the police....the police came and wanted to know from ME what happened...I said I wasnt sure..the family denied everything and business went on as usual...but I feel my heart has been torn apart from the nightmares I've been having..I have grown to care about this family and it hurts me to witness fights like this....I want a different job yet I feel I will miss the drama..I probably will get another job yet I need endless, endless amounts of drama and I do not know if this need will ever get met in the same way again........................

[recluse1]

junerain,

after working closely with people you do develop feelings for them, whether good or bad. if you care for this family please pray for them. it sounds like they are in much need of it.

recluse1

[Junerain]

bump

[Perna]

Do you have a therapist you can talk about it to? I worked in a family business (father and 2 daughters) and they hired their "friends" or friends of friends, etc. so it was very "busy" with interactions and it is exciting and "fun". The wife/mother had just died of breast cancer 2-3 months before I came and the business almost died because the owner wasn't participating in it anymore, his heart was kind of "gone" :-( There were over 100 employees and they were kind of worried, etc. When I joined I was in a group of 6-7 women, including the youngest daughter and we worked for the father directly in the front of the business doing the administration/accounting part of the work and most of the women had been there over 6-8-10 years and the dynamic was really intense and a "challenge" to me to get myself to fit in. But the father and daughters had arguments too; the youngest daughter and her father especially, lots of shouting and tears (she still works there, married a Navy man and moved away to follow his career but they're stationed in the same city now and she has gotten her BA in accounting so runs the office now).

I would think about the whole thing from your own life; what is good for you? YOu want nightmares and problems with yourself to continue? As "nice" as the drama is, you probably have to choose between it and the pain of the nightmares and fear of police and damage/danger to others whom you care about? My boss at the company had been there a long time but was lazy and did things his own way (very slowly, never did his invoices on time) and he was constantly getting yelled at by the owner and I'd get in trouble because I was supposed to be "in charge" of him (the big baby :-) and it was "hopeless" because he was never going to change! My therapist said I could stay and get depressed or I could leave; my two choices because nothing I did would make any difference, there'd be no making it "better" and changing the grown men so they did things better. I stayed but for my own reasons not related to changing my boss, there were lots of other relationships I wanted to explore. But I did my job well enough so I kind of made myself obsolete :-) and eventually they made me start working part-time and then I finished therapy and my husband retired so I didn't need to work either so quit entirely, giving them a month or two notice so I could train my replacement. I worked there around 8 years. But look at what's in it for you and the likely outcomes and decide what you want.