I shake my head, speechless.
Thinking to myself - is all this depression and anger really a waste of time? No meaning at all to what I am experiencing? Nothing that needs to be fought? Just my anger?

I'd always seek reasons for my anger. I think it's fair, considering my past and how the environment has made me feel over the years.
But there's talking about growth, being productive, going to mars, and my current condition is I see no hope for humanity.
Probably, because I can't see hope for myself.

Even if I take care of myself, I'll regret the time wasted being how I am right now, so I'll always be in a lose-lose situation.

Things have angered me in life. I think it'd be fair to fight for those feelings I experienced - that anger. But it has never been released. It had no place. So it means I have no place.

Why does the future seem so good for humanity, while I and others suffer?

Please, someone help me out.
I don't think I want to live, because since my time has already been wasted, then why should I "retry" when my accumulated experiences are nothing compared to most people? Thriving would probably be an imaginary concept for me because of my experiences. I just wish I could grow in a better home, instead of being in a mentally unhealthy home where I'd have a hard time growing and bending with my environment.
The problem with that view however, is I'd be accusing my home and the people who have raised me here.

I think with all this pain, I'll always be losing.
I have experienced "growing" people who hurt or neglect because you are not growing.
A "friend" scolded me with great anger that I do not grow and "always hit the brick". I was extremely frustrated with him when he said that. He will no longer be my friend for it. Worst thing is - he doesn't care. So much for "personal growth" - hurting others and leaving them behind.

It's hard for me to be pro-life like this. I sometimes think of myself as anti-life... despairingly.

It is not our fault that we have mental illnesses and have had our struggles in the past. These are very valid things that should be dealt with and worked through.

However, it -is- our responsibility to work on getting help for these issues. It -is- our responsibility to not let our past define us as we are now. It -is- our choice whether or not to stay stuck. You struggle with depression and anger, both very valid things, but that means the onus lies on you to get the help for it, and to work damn hard. Harder than those without these struggles.

[All Is Revealed]

Interesting how you see others and humanity as growing. I wish I had that positive outlook. Do you really think most people are growing? You might live in a wealthy town, or you might be surrounded by highly intelligent people. I live in the average American town, so I see nothing good here.

I see humanity and others as decaying, or falling apart. All of my high school friends are married with kids. Do I think they've grown? Not really. They are unhappily married, physically unhealthy, and look 20 years older than me. I'm glad I'm not in their shoes.

If a friend leaves you because you are not growing, then he was never was your friend. If you think you're not growing, that's not such a bad thing. When you meet lots of people who've "grown" you realize they're not so great afterall.

I don’t see people as growing. I see the entire “self growth” concept as competition for everything - from friends to success.
I notice self-growth is achieved by few.
I find it bull**** because most of us grow old and just die in the end.

But it’s advertised all around Facebook for instance and it’s depressing. It can even be the simple things like someone committing a featful exercise, or drawing something beautiful. Don’t get me started on the sparkly “how to make food” videos with the usual fast-motions and slow-motion grabbing of the food to see how cheesy or creamy or whatever it is.
The reason I’m on Facebook is because I have nothing else to do.
I see watching TV futile, even playing video games. Because I am stressed and depressed about how my life has been all these years, with unsolved and perhaps undolvable anxieties such as psychiatric medications taken in the past

[Winterbritt]

If it's true that the world is terrible and pointless, and you believe the world is terrible and pointless, then why this struggle? Why the friction between yourself and the world if your theory of the world and the reality of the world aren't at odds?

I believe that when there's friction inside us, it's evidence that our beliefs are at odds with reality.

You seem like a deep thinker. Maybe you need to zoom out. Maybe start thinking into the theoretical basis for your judgements about things. Maybe ask, what is age? What is the nature of time? What is the nature of the experience of time passing? What is the nature of existing, and being, and death, and life?

What are you assuming about life underneath these beliefs about the world? And are those things steadfast truths. Can you build negative beliefs about the world and the future based on those assumptions?

The world is just the world. Water is just water. Events are just events. People are just people. The world is neutral. It shouldn't be different because it can't be different. It just is. The ideas of "should have," or "could have," or "I wish" don't exist. They have no basis in reality. They are just paths to feel badly and dissatisfied. They are tools of the imagination, but our minds project them onto reality and they feel like valid convincing possibilities. But they aren't. Believing that you "should have" done something differently ten minutes ago, no matter how trivial and possible it seems, it just as impossible as traveling back in time to invent fire.

The world just is. But your beliefs about the world are subjective and relative and malleable. Before you decide you don't want to be here, it's worth thinking about what the nature of wanting is, what the nature of being is, what the nature of "here" is.

You said, - Thinking to myself - is all this depression and anger really a waste of time? No meaning at all to what I am experiencing? Nothing that needs to be fought? Just my anger?

Is it? I think maybe you're on to something. Fight your anger. Leave the world alone for a little bit. See what the world looks like once you're rid of at that anger. When you can see clearly, then you can decide if everything was a waste of time.

You might have anger, but you aren't anger. You are the being which believes in kindness. That's why you find anger so difficult to live with.

[All Is Revealed]

Winterbriit, you are so right about not being able to change certain things about the world. It can be depressing if we constantly fight the world. Or for others, it makes them angry wild creatures when life doesn't go their way.

That is why I do my best to focus on today. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

[All Is Revealed]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

But it’s advertised all around Facebook for instance and it’s depressing. It can even be the simple things like someone committing a featful exercise, or drawing something beautiful.

Ahh, Facebook. I see. That's a tough one for me. I never signed up for Facebook and never will. Facebook promotes the "Oh look at me" mentality where people post their biggest accomplishments. It's understandable to feel a certain way when you see these pics and videos. It can make you feel ... just worthless.

And you're right about very few people ever achieving self-growth. Many Facebook people make it seem like they've conquered the world, when realistically ... they've done nothing spectacular.