[Purple,Violet,Blue]

It's almost as depressing as the depression; making an appointment at my local surgery to ask for mental health issues help.

The fact that I have joined this forum means I'm probably desperate (no offence to anyone, you all seem really nice).

Sigh.

Due to my long work hours, an appointment has to coincide with my day off from work... which means it could be weeks... The other option is to turn up to an 'emergency' early morning surgery, where you're likely to be refused if the other patients are more urgent...

Deep breath.

I know what's waiting because I've done it before. A harassed GP, with ten minutes to spare. A waiting list for therapy which they say will be three months but is always - I'm going on friends' experiences as well as my own - a year.

The last time I tried, I asked for medication and was flat-out refused (my mother had died and the GP decided my reaction was 'normal').

So, no meds and no therapy for a year. Oh, great, thank you very much. I'll go and live in a cave for a year, shall I?

I paid for private therapy last time, which was successful but costs £40 an hour, so I could only afford a short course.

Sorry for the rant. I know I need help, but it's so exhausting. One friend applied to a charity, but the hoops she had to jump through were incredible, and it still took about eight months for a short course.

I need a happy period in my life in order to have the strength to ask for help?

It would be funny if I didn't feel so desperate...

[Shazerac]

It saddens me that you have to go through this. It must feel humiliating to feel that you have to beg for the help you need. It's just not right!

I hope you are able to get some relief soon.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Thanks, Shazerac. I really appreciate the hug.

[healingme4me]

Fingers crossed that you are able to gain access quicker. Saddens me to hear of such horrible wait times when quicker responses are compassionate.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

I appreciate your warm thoughts, healingme. Having said it all out loud has helped somewhat. I think I will make the appointment... will I... I'm not sure...

[Fuzzybear]

I confess that having read the title, I went straight to see if you have disclosed your location.

I'm sorry

I'm also in the U.K.

I wish you healing

Begging a GP for help I fully sympathise and I find this distasteful and flat out wrong that we "should" have to do this! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Oh, that is a relief... it's hard to explain how tricky it is...

My GP seems to have a policy that you have to go back three times before they'll even begin to help. I suppose X amount of people don't go back, and the practice saves Y amount of money.

I'm definitely working up to seriously considering it, though.

Thank you.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

I've made the appointment. It's for tomorrow.

Although I've had therapy, I've never taken meds before, but I'm so desperate, I am going to request them.

I'm allergic to aspirin, penicillin, many antibiotics and a load of other stuff. So I normally avoid all drugs, apart from my daily anti histamine.

I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing, as I just don't trust doctors. At my previous GP practice, one of the doctors had given penicillin to an allergic patient accidentally, and they died. And the GP still worked there.

These things go through your mind when you're swallowing a powerful pill your doctor has assured you is fine.

It's just another complicating factor which makes me feel discouraged before I've even started.

Anyway, I've got that off my chest. It had been playing on my mind.

Anyway, I'm going, and that's that.

It's a start.

[VerMOZZica]

I hope your appointment went well and you get the help you deserve.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Thanks so much, VerMOZZica. It's very kind of you to check in on me.

It went better than I'd hoped.

The doctor was nice, and really listened, and led me gently through their mental health questionnaire.

Hooray! No need to beg for drugs. His computer says I'm severely depressed!

I don't know why I'm laughing...

I've already swallowed the pills he prescribed. I'm sitting by my fireplace now, listening to the birds tweeting outside and wondering if this might actually work...

Anything's possible.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

The Valium-type drug the doctor prescribed to tide me over until the anti-depressant kicks in has completely wiped me out.

I've taken it for four days, but won't take it tomorrow. I keep falling asleep.

I suppose the idea is to reset my body to zero, in terms of relaxation, so I'm trying to focus on that.

Can't understand how people enjoy/get addicted to these things. It's just like a sleeping pill, as far as I can see.

[Shazerac]

Take it at night

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Thanks for the tip. I'll give that a try.

[Sunflower123]

I hope your meds kick in and you feel better soon. Sending big hugs.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Thanks Jennifer, I really appreciate that.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Well, a week since my first ever anti depressant.

Stiff jaw. Slight loss of appetite.

I abandoned the Valium-type drug the doc also gave me because it caused exhaustion, even when taken at night (on my way to work, a stranger on public transport had to wake me up to get off at my stop... very embarrassing... never happened before).

The anti depressant drug itself, I know, needs more time to work.

I'm glad to have found this forum.

It's a hard time, though, being at this early stage. I feel exposed and vulnerable, having stopped denying there's a problem... but I'm not at the moment seeing any improvement.

I have potentially a psychologist who could see me. She can only do Tue and Wed from 9-5. Those are days I can never get off work (and she's a half hour train drive from my workplace).

My exhaustion is finding this an insurmountable problem, at the moment.

My boss is one of the reasons I'm in this stressed state, and I really don't want to tell them about my issues, in order to take the time off.

I'll let a bit more time pass, and see if the mist clears on this complication.

[Carmina]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I confess that having read the title, I went straight to see if you have disclosed your location.

I'm sorry

I'm also in the U.K.

I wish you healing

Me too

sadly GPs and the MH system in the UK seems to know only meds and shallow therapy like IAPT. Hard to get anything more substantial (I am trying myself right now through my care manager) - really could do with some art or dramatherapy or writing

[Carmina]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

Well, a week since my first ever anti depressant.

Stiff jaw. Slight loss of appetite.

I abandoned the Valium-type drug the doc also gave me because it caused exhaustion, even when taken at night (on my way to work, a stranger on public transport had to wake me up to get off at my stop... very embarrassing... never happened before).

The anti depressant drug itself, I know, needs more time to work.

I'm glad to have found this forum.

It's a hard time, though, being at this early stage. I feel exposed and vulnerable, having stopped denying there's a problem... but I'm not at the moment seeing any improvement.

I have potentially a psychologist who could see me. She can only do Tue and Wed from 9-5. Those are days I can never get off work (and she's a half hour train drive from my workplace).

My exhaustion is finding this an insurmountable problem, at the moment.

My boss is one of the reasons I'm in this stressed state, and I really don't want to tell them about my issues, in order to take the time off.

I'll let a bit more time pass, and see if the mist clears on this complication.

Have you tried Yoga? I find it helps somewhat. At least for calming myself when panicky it can help and with my body tension which is in a constant state usually - it helps me untangle and unknot

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by Carmina

Have you tried Yoga? I find it helps somewhat. At least for calming myself when panicky it can help and with my body tension which is in a constant state usually - it helps me untangle and unknot

Yes, I've found it helpful in the past. But my recent plummet has crashed through all my usual coping strategies. There's no pleasure or ease in anything.

Thanks for the suggestion, though. I'm glad it's helping you.

[Carmina]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

Yes, I've found it helpful in the past. But my recent plummet has crashed through all my usual coping strategies. There's no pleasure or ease in anything.

Yeah me too for most of them - gardening, painting, music, poetry have all suffered and largely stopped (I have literally managed one painting and that was digital, and one poem this whole year, composed no music for months either and hardly play). But I've largely managed to keep less demanding things like walking/cycling going as they take me out which is an important escape for me. I do find if I am very emotional or upset I find the Yoga too demanding as I find it hard to be in my body, but can usually at least manage the breathing exercises and most weeks have managed to get to some classes, just skipped a few when feeling too bad.

The garden is neglected but I have just rented an allotment and will try and push myself to do something on that this weekend if the weather holds up.

Hope you find some strategies that work, even if just small things at first can be a glimmer of hope.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Thanks. Hope your weekend on the allotment goes well.

I'm also in the UK. I've been to the GP many times. Sometimes I'm prescribed medication or I have to self refer myself to therapy 4 u. It was helpful. The mental health services in the UK I must say in my opinion are not good. Some GP are concerned, some just want to rush you and give you medication. I give up going to the GP. Plus, I'm tired of people forcing me to go to the GP because how I behave and apparently it's all my fault. Forgive me if this has nothing to do with your thread but I hope you get the best treatment possible

[CepheidVariable]

This thread came back up to the front page and it reminds me of looking over some of my old posts -- and much more revealingly -- old journal entries.

May I be presumptuous enough to assume you're doing a lot better than where you were at on post #1. (Me too, at least a little, actually. I was too distracted to respond at the time, but I do remember the post now that I see it again.)

Sometimes it's good to see that and think, "I certainly feel better today than I did then." And I find that feels better too.

Besides, I now have a new friend called Purple, Violet, Blue.

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

The fact that I have joined this forum means I'm probably desperate (no offence to anyone, you all seem really nice).

Hee hee. I'm calling insult!

Careful, Fuzzybear might Grrrr at you.

[CepheidVariable]

Originally Posted by happycheeks

I'm also in the UK. I've been to the GP many times. Sometimes I'm prescribed medication or I have to self refer myself to therapy 4 u. It was helpful. The mental health services in the UK I must say in my opinion are not good. Some GP are concerned, some just want to rush you and give you medication. I give up going to the GP. Plus, I'm tired of people forcing me to go to the GP because how I behave and apparently it's all my fault. Forgive me if this has nothing to do with your thread but I hope you get the best treatment possible

Yeah. I'm sorry to say that medical help -- especially regarding mental health -- is pretty hit or miss everywhere.

It also sounds like you're having some pretty difficult times with the people around you. At least here, we know it's not always a question of "fault".

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by CepheidVariable

Yeah. I'm sorry to say that medical help -- especially regarding mental health -- is pretty hit or miss everywhere.

It also sounds like you're having some pretty difficult times with the people around you. At least here, we know it's not always a question of "fault".

This has certainly been my experience re medical (mental “health” ) help ggrrrrr

And I agree, on pc we know it’s not usually a question of “fault”