It would be so easy

To just go to sleep and never wake up again. Nobody would care if I wasn't here any more - most people wouldn't even notice



What's really pathetic is that the only thing that keeps me going is my dog. I have so few friends (and then they only bother with me when they have nobody better to talk to), nobody has ever loved me and never will so there must be something fundamentally wrong with me

I don't know you so I cannot say with absolute certainty, but I feel safe in venturing a guess there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. It seems to be the norm with society these days to use ppl for what they can get but never really try to have meaningful relationships - even as far as friendships go. So for those of us who want a meaningful relationship, pain becomes our "friend" instead.

I am glad you have a dog with you. They can be therapeutic in many ways. I know mine are for me.

Do you have any other ways of coping? Do you know any relaxation techniques or use anything to calm you?

Just because you don't have any people that care about you it doesn't mean that you're unworthy of love.

I don't believe that anyone is unworthy of love, some are difficult to love ( I include myself in that category ), I am sure someone would notice you gone and would care deeply about it as well. Sometimes we don't even realize the lives we have touched.

Is there any way you can make some new friends ? I don't really have any friends but I want to try and make some . I really want to get a dog too.

I was feeling very suicidal last week so I understand about wanting to sleep and not wake up . now I'm trying to work on improving my life and try to avoid feeling that way again. Is there anything you can do to improve your life or make yourself happier ?

I am not really coping at all. I put on a brave face and go to work and pretend everything's fine

I have tried mindfulness and various relaxation techniques but they haven't worked.
medication is not helping either, I have tried many ADs and one of them have worked. I am currently on Duloxetine (which has given me a stomach ulcer) and have just started lithium.

I try. I make myself go along to social things at work etc. and I can make friends on a superficial level, but I am just not somebody people actually want to spend time with.
I truly wish I could make myself happier, and I try so hard but even things that I used to love doing now just make me feel sad because I don't enjoy them any more.
It is so hard just holding myself together all day at work that I just have no energy left for anything else. I have constant headaches and seep very badly but nothing I do has any effect.

i just want it all to stop

The reason things you used to enjoy - you no longer find yourself enjoying, is because of depression. A lot of people will tell you "do it anyway, it will help" - what that does, in my mind, is brainwash you into believing you enjoy it again but you are not truly getting the enjoyment you once did. I used to believe it did help though, so I understand the concept - but, since I have come to understand the psychology behind abuse, that kind of thing seems too similar to me. So - what do you do? You focus on the problem. Not the symptom. Medications often focus on symptoms as well so if you are noticing they are giving you more debilitating side effects than they are helping - I would try a different approach. There are many alternative therapies out there. For instance, have you ever had a physical exam to see if something physical could be causing your depression? An imbalance in certain vitamins will do it. Thyroid problems can do it. There are a host of things you can look into there and then if it proves to be a vitamin or mineral based problem, you can go to a nutritionist. Aromatherapy can be beneficial for depression. Accupunture. Some people even say chiropractic care. Reiki. Those are a few ideas. But - its up to you, and you will still need to sort through whatever may be upsetting you (abuse, marriage issues, etc) by talking. If you do still wish to try to continue medication that too is up to you, I am not here to tell you not to.

Some relaxation skills that may help are diaphragm breathing, imagery, music, and muscle relaxation. If you don't know what any of those are, let me know and I will explain them.

Some coping techniques that may help are journaling, creative writing, poetry writing, painting, playing music, walking, and exercise

I hope this information helps at least some - but don't feel you have to use any of it if you do not want to

Take care ❤