[Danialla]

Well I had my cholestrol checked and it probably wasn't the best.....

Total 305
Bad (LDL) 205
Good (HDL) 40
I was given 6 weeks of lipitor samples to try.

My question is....Have any of you had to really fight the urge to not take care of yourself medically due to your depression? You know the old....heart attack sure looks better than suicide to outsiders

edit: to change title

[Mouse_]

Yes I've had a romance with the darker side of my nature. The romancing of my own death induced by neglecting myself...I hope you choose to take care of yourself!

[frightened]

I have many thoughts along those lines...but suffering from depression while you hope to slowly die is so painful...better to pursue wellness in every area I think! I have also fought depression for many years, and the fight is long and tiring. But I hope you find a way to care for you, and eventually come out into the sun again. THat is what I hope for for all of us!

[moodyblu]

Well...I'll tell you from experience. To fight that "wailing banshee" melancholia...and keep her down to a dull wimper...one must be physically active and take your medicine. When the doctor tells you cholesterol can be kept down with exercise, diet and medicine...it's what has to be done. Physical exercise...any kind...fresh air...moving about...helps my depression a lot...plus the results are encouraging. You look and feel better!
Like my doctor told me when I was ignoring my health and concentrating on my gloom; "But you have to get that cholesterol curbed...cause you'll really be depressed if you have a heart attack and are further handicapped."
Have you checked your thyroid levels too? Under active thyroid will push cholesterol way up...plus cause all kinds of mental stress. Keep it regulated.
Better to go into this "swinging" than just give up and let it wash over you.... dragging you down more.
Just a thought....
take care...
m.b.

[Danialla]

The trouble is that I can't get myself motivated to do anything. Not because I can't get out of bed, etc. I work a full time job. But because I don't want to live any longer. I don't think anyone, not even family, realizes the level of depression I deal with on a day to day basis.

I do take my psych meds to help keep the "wailing banshee" down to a dull roar .

But to take the meds for a medical problem, especially one that has the potential to end my life sooner rather than later, well that is where the problem lies.

[nowheretorun]

hoping you will choose life Danialla...

[moodyblu]

I'm so sorry. I understand. I have been to that low spot too.
I'm sorry that life seems futile to you...right now.
When I was there...I prayed for God to show me a way out.
I pray for you too.
Take care....D.

[jefftele]

i find when my depression hits me ,i attack myself more , i have an awareness of it but it can creep up on me at times without my knowing,it feels almost like a cancer at times, i surround myself with people who love me, i find this so hard to do when all i want to do is curl up and hide, i tell myself this thing will pass which it does ,given time

[Nan50]

Danialla wrote: "heart attack sure looks better than suicide "

Ah, but here's the rub... very many heart attacks are not fatal, even without medical treatment - you may live, but be permanently & progressively weaker, sicker, more of a burden to those around you. You might also have a non-fatal, but crippling stroke. Don't risk it is my advice.

Being in good health will not make you feel worse and just might make things a bit better.

Hugs,

Nan50

[wickedwings]

danialla, it's true. i already had a stroke nearly 2 years ago. fortunately, my youth was on my side (i was 33 when it happened - due to birth control pills) and i was able to recover physically.

[Danialla]

I know, and I do think about the possibility of having a major health issue (heart attack, stroke etc.) and not dying.....that would be just my luck.