[Nike007]

I don’t know. I went to emergency. A lot of waiting, as usual. I talked to people. I was told to stay overnight. I did. Then I was woken up to talk to more people. I felt fine this morning, as I felt safe there. Said they’d talk to me in a few hours. Given meds, though I take them at night and I have no idea what they gave me, so I don’t know what I need to take. Then told I could cope well, and that I could come back. I felt that they didn’t really want me there since the beginning. When I arrived, they told me there were no beds, but then once I was staying, there was bed that magically appeared in its own room with bathroom, private. So I guess they were lying. I just felt they really wanted me to go, as I haven’t done anything. Once I left, I felt the same as when I got there, but now empty and don’t care what happens to me anymore. Maybe doing something would make people do something more. I feel unheard... I’m not worth anything I guess.

[Fuzzybear]

This unfortunate experience doesn’t define your worthiness But it’s an example of profoundly sub optimal “mental health care” I’m very sorry this happened to you

[Wild Coyote]

I am sorry this has happened to you.

This should be about you; yet, it's more of a commentary on the inadequate help and resources within the field of mental health. It's unfortunate. Please don't allow this to determine your sense of worthiness.


WC

[Nike007]

It was weird, as I went to a hospital to treat people with mental health issues in the first place, so I thought things would have been different...

The beds being full at the hospital is normal across the board. I was told this when I was in labor, when my 1 year old had pneumonia and during my last psych admission. I know they move people around (sometimes put two people in the same room) to accommodate new arrivals. They opened a bed for me at 10:30pm after I was told I would spend the night in the ER. So please don't take that personally.

I'm sorry you were sent home when you felt better there. If you do not feel safe, go back. Our health care system is strained so you need to fight for what you need. Its not fair, but you have to advocate for yourself.

You are important. Your issues matter. This is not a reflection of you.

[Wild Coyote]

How are you doing?


WC

[MickeyCheeky]

You're absolutely worth it; please go back there if you don't feel safe..

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

How are you doing?




WC

Feeling awful. Maybe I could try a different hospital. There are so many where I am. My thoughts are bad...

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

The beds being full at the hospital is normal across the board. I was told this when I was in labor, when my 1 year old had pneumonia and during my last psych admission. I know they move people around (sometimes put two people in the same room) to accommodate new arrivals. They opened a bed for me at 10:30pm after I was told I would spend the night in the ER. So please don't take that personally.


I'm sorry you were sent home when you felt better there. If you do not feel safe, go back. Our health care system is strained so you need to fight for what you need. Its not fair, but you have to advocate for yourself.


You are important. Your issues matter. This is not a reflection of you.

Okay, thank you for that information. It was just the previous time I went to emer, they had a free bed available.

I don’t know. They asked me how I felt as soon as I woke up. Nothing really happened because I was asleep... and then they asked a bit later, but I was quite anxious there too, and I said that I still felt bad, but not like last night. I did mention last night that I didn’t want to be alone or with family. No one really listened I guess. As soon as I left I felt everything that I entered with, and more... I don’t feel important. I wish I had some physical issue rather than this. Then people would know what to do.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Nike007

Feeling awful. Maybe I could try a different hospital. There are so many where I am. My thoughts are bad...

Please do seek help if you need help.

I wish we could tell you which hospital would be most helpful; yet, I have no idea.

Keep us posted on how you are doing?


WC

[KYWoman]

Nike, I'm glad your back. You are part of my new family here on this forum. I care about you and want you to do what is best for you.

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Please do seek help if you need help.


I wish we could tell you which hospital would be most helpful; yet, I have no idea.


Keep us posted on how you are doing?




WC

I don’t feel that great.

Possible trigger:

I ended up trying to cut my skin with scissors. I wanted to take off the hospital tag, but as soon as I held the scissors, I knew that I needed to do something. My hand hurts slightly... didn’t break skin though.

Maybe I should go to a regular hospital instead. I would try the hospital I see my endocrine at. She’s really nice, and she did say that they have a good psych team, though I am unsure if she’s being bias or not. The past residents I’ve seen there were good overall. They seemed understanding and compassionate. Also maybe there wouldn’t be as many people like me, as they may go to the specific mental health hospital instead. This hospital does have a mental health section I know.

Originally Posted by Nike007

I don’t feel that great.

Possible trigger:

I ended up trying to cut my skin with scissors. I wanted to take off the hospital tag, but as soon as I held the scissors, I knew that I needed to do something. My hand hurts slightly... didn’t break skin though.

Maybe I should go to a regular hospital instead. I would try the hospital I see my endocrine at. She’s really nice, and she did say that they have a good psych team, though I am unsure if she’s being bias or not. The past residents I’ve seen there were good overall. They seemed understanding and compassionate. Also maybe there wouldn’t be as many people like me, as they may go to the specific mental health hospital instead. This hospital does have a mental health section I know.

This sounds like a good idea. If we don't hear from you we will assume you're at the hospital. Please check in when you can.

[Wild Coyote]

Thinking of you Nike007.


WC

[Nike007]

I haven't gone to the hospital. I'm kinda stuck in "what's the point"? Like, I don't even know what I can do for myself.

Possible trigger:

I ended up self harming again. Now there are bruises of it... It still hurts in that area. No skin broken though.

I just don't know what to do. I'm on meds, I'm in therapy, though I haven't seen whom I've been seeing the last little bit, as it's run through my school, and school is closed until Monday. He's really great, but I realize that I can't handle not having therapy for the time period that I did. Maybe I'm like how I am because I'm going through withdrawal of medication. I don't know. I just don't know what I need. I'm really frustrated right now, so... I took melatonin, which usually works in about an hour, but nothing has kicked in, so maybe I'll take my trazodone. I'm going to do my best to sleep. I feel hopeless and alone. There aren't many people in my life that I really talk to. Just one friend and my care team I guess, which includes my psychologist and pdoc. I do occasionally talk to someone who deals with my accommodations. I just don't know what they do at a hospital that's really different than me not being there, other than being watched. I'm not worth anything.

[Sunflower123]

I hope you get some good sleep and wake up feeling better. Please don’t hesitate going to the hospital. You are worth it. Please keep posting. Sending big hugs.

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I hope you get some good sleep and wake up feeling better. Please don’t hesitate going to the hospital. You are worth it. Please keep posting. Sending big hugs.

I did sleep well. About 10 hours. I’ve been unmotivated all day to do anything. I really haven’t had any nutrients today. Just sweets. And the thoughts are quite bad and the urges are really strong. I’m doing my best to hold on. I don’t really want to go back to a place where I didn’t feel cared for.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Nike007

I did sleep well. About 10 hours. I’ve been unmotivated all day to do anything. I really haven’t had any nutrients today. Just sweets. And the thoughts are quite bad and the urges are really strong. I’m doing my best to hold on. I don’t really want to go back to a place where I didn’t feel cared for.

Didn’t you mention there was another place you could go?

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Didn’t you mention there was another place you could go?

Ya. I could try a different hospital. I’m just not seeing the point. Other than to make sure I’m safe, which is important. It’s just I’m already in therapy and am on medication, so I don’t know what else a hospital can do for me.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by Nike007

Ya. I could try a different hospital. I’m just not seeing the point. Other than to make sure I’m safe, which is important. It’s just I’m already in therapy and am on medication, so I don’t know what else a hospital can do for me.

Maybe the meds you are on isn't enough. or don't work for you, or the combination may be wrong. If you are still feeling as bad as you were, and you started to self harm, you might consider a different hospital. I hope, and pray that everything goes god for you, no matter what you decide to do.

[Nike007]

Originally Posted by katydid777

Maybe the meds you are on isn't enough. or don't work for you, or the combination may be wrong. If you are still feeling as bad as you were, and you started to self harm, you might consider a different hospital. I hope, and pray that everything goes god for you, no matter what you decide to do.

Thank you. Currently I’m switching medications, so I am on withdrawal of my former antidepressants. And it takes time to work. I just... hate waiting, you know?

Maybe I’ll go to a different hospital. I’m at the point though where I don’t really care about anything. My suicidal and self harm thoughts are less, but the urges when they do happen are a lot stronger. I just don’t care anymore.

[Sunflower123]

If it gets worse, please go to the hospital. Please keep posting also so we can support you. I hope you feel better soon.