At a loss...

I really don't know what to do. The depression feels pretty severe. I keep having crying episodes. I cannot focus or concentrate on anything. I want to call T, but for what? So I can tell him how depressed I am? He already knows. I seriously don't know how much longer I can take this. I don't have time for this. I have a lot of things to do. But it's such a dead end because it's like-- ok, so I can't take this anymore.... so what? What now? It's not going anywhere.

Hi Pink,
Have you talked to your T about taking some time off? Perhaps a sabattical from your internship?

Do you think you need to be inpatient for a tune-up? Can you see T more often or check in with him a couple times a day? Can you move in with him? Ok, just kidding on the last suggestion.

Have you ever been hospitalized? It may be the kind of rest you need right now. Talk it over with your T and see what he thinks. I don't think he will steer you wrong. You obviously mean a great deal to him.

I wish you a speedy recovery.
Okie

You are going through something but you will come out the other end.

(((((((( pinksoil ))))))))

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pinksoil said:
I don't have time for this.

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Unfortunately, it has time for you :-) So you have to make time for it. Think of the reed vs. tree and how the one bends with the wind and the other gets uprooted. Give in and let it "flow" out with the tears. Take "special" showers where you give yourself permission to cry away, etc. Perhaps if you make an effort to "meet" the depression halfway it will "obey" better?