[Smileonmyface]

I wonder if other mothers or parents out there can relate. I was talking to someone about this and I think it is very true that unless a mother is depressed herself she cannot understand how this is. I know other people think I am lazy, not trying hard enough.

I stand in awe of the moms that do seemingly everything. Or people that just seem to have so much energy to hold down jobs, run side businesses, pursue dreams.

I feel like the world turns around me and I am never really a part of it.

The children are the only reason I stay here. Even a dysfunctional mother is better than no mother at all, or maybe not. Maybe they would get a super stepmom if I were out of the picture. It's also for selfish reasons, I can't bear the thought of not seeing them, how they grow. Sometimes the pain gets so much I want to leave them anyway but they pull me back. All the while doing a half-baked job of what I am supposed to be doing. The cycle goes on and on and we all get older every day.

I know this says mothers with depression, but I wanted to provide my input as a person raised by a single father with depression. He raised 3 kids by himself, a large chunk of that time on a disability income. We never went hungry or homeless, and I could not ask for a better parent.

There were times when he struggled, for sure. Our house was often quite the mess, dishes left in the sink, etc. But we understood, and we were still happy with what we had.

You may feel incompetent compared to other parents, but I can tell you that your children will likely be grateful for everything you did for them, as I am grateful for what my dad did for us. Nobody is the "perfect" parent. Just do the best you can, that's all you can ask of yourself.

[Smileonmyface]

that is really touching to read of your experience with your dad. I can really relate to the house being a mess part and dishes in the sink. I am such a bad cleaner. But I guess as long as the kids are loved it will hopefully work out in the end.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Smileonmyface

that is really touching to read of your experience with your dad. I can really relate to the house being a mess part and dishes in the sink. I am such a bad cleaner. But I guess as long as the kids are loved it will hopefully work out in the end.

Exactly so... love is the greatest gift you can give them

(I’m not a mom either but I’m here and reading/listening)

I can relate to being a “bad cleaner” - that stuff doesn’t really matter in the end

I can’t say I felt loved by those who “raised” me although the house was clean when I was a cub.

[Minnow]

I'm a dad who suffers from depression and anxiety and I often feel as you described. I'm envious seeing what look like happy people skipping through life. (Even though I know everyone has issues) Me and my three siblings were raised by my dad after my mom died when I was 10. So I will never leave my kids or my wife even when it seems like the best solution and they would be better off. They need you and you need them. They also don't care if the house is a mess. They just want a mom who loves them. So love them and try to love yourself. Easy for me to say and very hard sometimes for me to do but I can't leave them and have them. Big hug!