[Neverever86]

I’m a 30 year old woman. I’ve had anxiety depression and ocd since I was 17. I’ve never had friends or a boyfriend thought I always wanted a guy. I’ve tried lots of therapist and none have helped me. My teens and 20s were wasted because of my anxiety and I almost never went out. I’m 30 now and I feel more depressed than ever. I feel old and unattractive now. I always had low self esteem but I compare myself constantly to younger girls and feel like nothing compared to them. I keep hearing guys all want younger girls and that they are more attractive. I always wanted to enjoy being young and carefree with a guy but now I feel I missed out. I don’t know where to begin to fix my life. I feel being 30 there’s nothing to look forward to and that life is gonna be boring. I do not enjoy things I use to because I feel my age ruins it. I think of my age constantly and feel sad. I’m scared of getting older and dying. I hear that life I only good when in 20s and I missed it. I don’t know what to do. Please any advice would great.

[Shazerac]

Welcome to psych central I see that this is your first post.

You have a lot of life ahead of you. Feeling old and unattractive is more about your feelings and emotions than truth. I feel that way when I’m depressed when I’m in a good place mentally I look in the mirror and think “you rock, girl! Go get em!” I’m 62 and I’ve learned that loving myself is important.

[MickeyCheeky]

It's not too late to start improving your life. I'm sorry therapists haven't been helpful to you

[Neverever86]

Thank you both very much.

[Wild Coyote]

Welcome to PC.

I'd thoroughly enjoyed my 30's and 40's. You have a lot of years/opportunities ahead!

I hope you find the information and the support you may be seeking.
Please make yourself at home. Jump in wherever you feel led to do so.

Your first 5 posts are approved by a moderator before they appear. After 5 approved posts, you will also have access to chatrooms and to the Private Messaging (PM) system.

I hope to see you around the forums.


WC

I first saw the title and then I was shocked that you are only 30 years old. I know that the prefix word "only" seems unbelievable to you. By the title, I thought that you were much older. For some strange reason I had always felt like I'm getting old and dreading it as far back as when I was 13.

In my 20s I was unsettled. I traveled a lot during that decade of my life, including bi-coastal living. For a couple of years I would spend 7 months in the east coast and five months in the west coast. I have driven cross-country seven times. It was a nice time for me and have some nice memories. I had good times with friends at that time. But I didn't have a real place of my own and worked at crappy jobs. Also I had some crappy living conditions at that time.

In my 30s I was unsettled also, but it got better by my mid-30s and beyond. As of now, I own my place outright and have a very good job. Though I feel like I'm far from retirement, even though I am closing in at that age. I could sell my place and get a good amount of money for it.

I don't know what to tell you, but I know how you feel. Lots of times I wake up in the morning feeling very depressed and thinking that being old is so near and that there are going to be a lot of sorrows ahead. But, that's life! I hope that you can find a good therapist. Sometimes you have to look around a whole lot before something can click.

[Kaysey]

Try not to compare yourself to younger girls. All you can ever be is you...doing the best you can try to do. I don’t think that all guys are shallow enough to just be looking for young attractive girls. You said you didn’t go out much in your 20’s. Are you open to going out and meeting new people now? I know it’s hard, especially with anxiety and depression. Keep looking for a good therapist, there has to be one out there that could help. I send hugs and wish you luck.