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***(possible triggers? Just want to be safe)

It's true, it seems like everyone in life that I hold dear has had a far worse life than I. I feel bad because here I am, complaining about my own problems when they are next to nothing to many others that I personaly know.

Many of my friends, if they do not have family issues that surpass my own, such as parents abandoning them, or neglecting them, then they were abused so heavely that it left both physical and mental scars as well. Whenever they vent out somehing bad that has happened to them in their life, or how crappy they are feeling, it's really hard for me because I cannot relate all that well and feel the need to say something, ANYTHING, to make them feel better.

I know, it's not always about advice, infact it hardly ever is. People want a good ear to litsen to their words, and a good shoulder to lean on, but sometimes it just feels like I fail at what I feel is one of my few purposes in life when I cannot do anything to help those who are suffering.

It's just that, every story people tell me, a part of it becomes my story as well, every pain a person feels, it becomes my pain as well. But...despite this I don't want people NOT to talk to me either. That would be the worst. I want to know what troubles the people that I care for- and if people start to withhold this information from me because they feel it to be a burden to me then I've failed because not only can I not help- I'm not even reliable enough to even litsen.

That was a bit of a rant, I put it here because I had no idea where else to put it, sorry.

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you are such a caring person... to want to help... to want to share "you"....

there... is self care too.... so (((hugs))) for you...

[Doh2007]

It sounds like you are a really good listener. That's what most people need the most. Just protect your own boundaries and take care of yourself.

The world needs people like you.

[nowheretorun]

hi kaika... i get what you're saying... i wasn't really abused, abandoned, neglected... i had my own "special" type of pains though... maybe thats what started me being empathic... like you, i can't say i know how it feels to be abused in the way some have, but like you, i've heard their story and it entered my heart...

seems like we're talking about levels of trauma... there's some forums here i don't enter because it's not my area... ok, there's those that are "qualified" to help there...

i am saying that everyone brings something, everyone fills a spot at this table, any table people gather at... that really is the beauty of it...

you matter... hang on to it... you have a purpose no doubt...

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((( Kaika ))))))))))

[stefano]

Your problems are real, Kaika, even if less bad compared to other's. Take the most disgraced of your friends... you can still find somebody who had way worse experiences. The disgrace has no limits downward...
So everyone has a right to atrive to comfort himself.
The fact that you feel sad for others' suffering demonstrates you caring, you are an OK person

[Perna]

We can't really know how we are helpful/useless to others so just being "there" and being yourself is a good goal, I think. You can witness and maybe learn from others and at some future point down the road remember the lesson and help some unknown other with what you learned from X friend 10 years ago, etc. We are never "useless", just sometimes "learning" rather than "giving" at that moment. Both have their places.