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#1
Apr 11, 2018, 02:46 PM
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I hate my brain, I hate myself. Truly.
I have been so overwhelmed with self destructive thoughts and urges the past couple of weeks and I can’t seem to stop it. And I just don’t get it. There is nothing wrong, nothing that has trigger it. This is just how I am, who I am. Everyday I take my meds and I just want to take extra. Everyday I want to cut. Everyday I want to drink until I am drunk, if only to stop this. I just don’t know the answer anymore. I don’t get why I am struggling, and I have no idea what to do to make it better. It seems so hopeless.
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Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Failure. Failure - Breaking Benjamin |
 Anonymous44144, CepheidVariable, Fuzzybear, marvin_pa, MtnTime2896
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#2
Apr 11, 2018, 03:42 PM
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Can you talk to your pdoc/t, to see if there's any additional/modifications to your current treatment/therapy that might help? Sometimes, just the action of asking can ease the pressure a little.
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| Anonymous44144, whisperingskye
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 whisperingskye
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#3
Apr 12, 2018, 02:18 AM
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I see my care coordinator next week but I’m not sure what she could offer to help. I think my pdoc has left and not sure of she has been replaced yet... I’m just doing what I can to best keep it together. It’s just really hard
__________________
Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Failure. Failure - Breaking Benjamin |
| Anonymous44144
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#4
Apr 12, 2018, 02:49 AM
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Quote:
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| Anonymous44144, whisperingskye
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| whisperingskye
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#5
Apr 12, 2018, 11:02 AM
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 sorry you are having a crappy episode. I hate it when I through these feelings. Sometimes I have to remind myself that Meds help but they aren’t magic beanstalk seeds. I still go through periods of extreme self loathing and questioning my will to live. They are just less frequent and intense when I’m on Meds. I try to be extra gentle with myself and not beat myself up for having bad feelings.
__________________
 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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| Anonymous44144, whisperingskye
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| whisperingskye
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#6
Apr 12, 2018, 06:18 PM
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I just want it to stop.
__________________
Tired of feeling lost, tired of letting go. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Tired of wasting breath, tired of nothing left. Tear the whole world down, tear the whole world down. Failure. Failure - Breaking Benjamin |
| Anonymous44144, Fuzzybear, marvin_pa, MtnTime2896, Shazerac
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#7
Apr 13, 2018, 08:43 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg
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| Anonymous44144, whisperingskye
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| whisperingskye
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#8
Apr 13, 2018, 02:44 PM
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I know how you feel when you say you just want it to stop. I just want to go back to being the person I used to be!
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| Anonymous44144, whisperingskye
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| whisperingskye
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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