[montaru]

A few months ago I felt really, really bad. I was lying in bed for three days and wanted to die. On the third day my mother came to my room and asked what was happening to me. After I told her that I felt awful and I didn't want to live anymore, she sat next to me for a few minutes and then she just left me and went to meet her friend.
How would you feel when your parent wouldn't bother about you in such moment? I'm asking, because I don't know how I should have reacted on this. Is this what a parent love looks like? I think that she should have treated me seriously and didn't leave, but she did... When I wanted to kill myself. After a few months, I still don't know what to exactly think/feel about it.
Thank you for reading.

[Humpty Dumpty]

I obviously don't know your mom the way you do, but to me it seems like she cares. She just doesn't/didn't know what to do or how to react. She probably confided in that friend and asked them what she should do. How she could help you. The fact that she continued to sit by you after you said that says a lot. So often we are told "quit being so dramatic." or "suck it up. We all have problems." Have you talked with her anymore since about your problems?

[cryingontheinside]

I was going to say the same as Humpty Dumpty , that she wanted to get advice from her friend . She sat with you for a few minutes I know that's not much but I would guess she cares and didn't know how to help you

[cryingontheinside]

When I was a teenager my depression was so severe . I was starving myself and crying in the bathroom in secret several times a day . My family assumed I had bulimia how much I was in the bathroom but I was barely eating so I had no need to do that . I finally confessed everything to my mum one day . I told her I didn't want to live . I told her about the secret crying everyday and that I was trying to starve myself to death . Well her reaction was to get angry with me . She then marched me to the doctor's . There was no spaces available in an eating disorder facility so my mum insisted in trying to get me sectioned instead which she had the doctor's support . After being assessed there the professionals said I didn't need to be sectioned . But my mum argued and insisted . And so the were going to let me stay there . It was a mental health facility that was mixed . There was this teenage boy a bit older than I was . He wouldn't stop staring at me in such a preditory way . I got they feeling he wanted to rape me . My mum was going to leave me there but my brother who was younger than me had also seen the guy looking at me like that , he refused to let me stay there and my mum listened to him . I felt so unloved and betrayed by the whole situation . But when I look back now I see my mum was desperately trying to get me some help although she may have approached it all wrong

[montaru]

Thank you for your responses. <3
I know her, she didn't go to her friend for advice. She just went, because she wanted to go out and have a good time. When I tell her that I feel really bad (which is really rare, because she always says that "people have it worse" or something like that), she doesn't understand it. She tells me then that I have to be strong, to pull myself together etc. She always asks me why I'm not happy, that I have everything what I need etc. Ehh.. There's so much more... Every time I tell her that I feel really bad, she's angry with me. One time, after her yelling at me, I was scared and I wanted to tell her that I already feel better just to make her yelling at me more. Shey says that I'm not trying to feel better... But how can I try to feel better?! I just feel that I wanna die most of the time. I'm in therapy for almost 4 months, sometimes it's better, sometimes worse, it depends. I hope it will be good one day.

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

When I was a teenager my depression was so severe . I was starving myself and crying in the bathroom in secret several times a day . My family assumed I had bulimia how much I was in the bathroom but I was barely eating so I had no need to do that . I finally confessed everything to my mum one day . I told her I didn't want to live . I told her about the secret crying everyday and that I was trying to starve myself to death . Well her reaction was to get angry with me . She then marched me to the doctor's . There was no spaces available in an eating disorder facility so my mum insisted in trying to get me sectioned instead which she had the doctor's support . After being assessed there the professionals said I didn't need to be sectioned . But my mum argued and insisted . And so the were going to let me stay there . It was a mental health facility that was mixed . There was this teenage boy a bit older than I was . He wouldn't stop staring at me in such a preditory way . I got they feeling he wanted to rape me . My mum was going to leave me there but my brother who was younger than me had also seen the guy looking at me like that , he refused to let me stay there and my mum listened to him . I felt so unloved and betrayed by the whole situation . But when I look back now I see my mum was desperately trying to get me some help although she may have approached it all wrong

I am so sorry that you had to go through such a deep depression. It must have been so awful. Did it happen long time ago? How are you today?

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by montaru

Thank you for your responses. <3
I know her, she didn't go to her friend for advice. She just went, because she wanted to go out and have a good time. When I tell her that I feel really bad (which is really rare, because she always says that "people have it worse" or something like that), she doesn't understand it. She tells me then that I have to be strong, to pull myself together etc. She always asks me why I'm not happy, that I have everything what I need etc. Ehh.. There's so much more... Every time I tell her that I feel really bad, she's angry with me. One time, after her yelling at me, I was scared and I wanted to tell her that I already feel better just to make her yelling at me more. Shey says that I'm not trying to feel better... But how can I try to feel better?! I just feel that I wanna die most of the time. I'm in therapy for almost 4 months, sometimes it's better, sometimes worse, it depends. I hope it will be good one day.


I am so sorry that you had to go through such a deep depression. It must have been so awful. Did it happen long time ago? How are you today?

I'm so sorry that your mum acts that way . Before I told my mum what I told her. I used to always look said and one time she screamed at me for being sad then she grabbed me and throw me around the room like a rag doll . I can relate . I'm sorry . Yes it was along time ago for me . I've suffered with depression most of my life unfortunately I am still depressed but not in the same way that I was at that age . I don't want to scare you . I didn't get the help I needed . I was scared to take the antidepressants . I tried to go to therapy , in the first one I didn't speak at all it was so uncomfortable , on the second time I turned up on the wrong week by mistake and the resecptionists both laughed hysterically at me that I couldn't bare to go back there . So I didn't get the help that I needed . I also have a mental health disorder as well as depression . So hopefully you will not suffer long term . You are doing the right things in terms of therapy

My family never found out about my suicidal impulses, but one thing they did find out about was my self harm and my mum yelled at me over it demanding answers, which wasn't helpful to me at all, so I can relate to what you are saying, montaru and cryingontheinside

[Candy1955]

I have two grown sons. I would never leave either of them in your frame of mind. Sometimes some parents get completely obsessed with appearances and their neighbors, friends etc, and just CANNOT cancel plans. I dunno.
How old are you?

[ShadowGX]

A lot of people, parents included, can't or don't know how to handle situations like that. Maybe she didn't think you were serious or were after attention, maybe she thought you just needed some space, or maybe she's just that self absorbed. I don't know her, so I can't really say. I do know that if my mom had done that it would hurt like hell. I've had people turn their backs on me and outright insult me when I told them I wanted to die, even as I was about to attempt and was trying to reach out to people I felt close to in order to keep myself from attempting (though looking back I know these weren't "real" attempts, but at the time they felt real).