[mulan]

I am feeling uncomfortable with myself...there's this sensation that's a mix of anxiety and despair, a lighter mix of both.
It's because I am tied, to this feelings of emptiness, to this apathy towards life. Anhedonia they say. I lack will to socialize and share my life, but then I am super socially anxious.
I feel like raising my hand on the air and saying save me and then waiting someone pulls me out.

I feel broken, wrong, handicapped. This has born with me, it will probably die with me. Then my faulty genetics are the cause... How much of this is psychosocial and how much of this is biological? If it's mostly biological I guess there's no way out. Whatever is the name some professional might give it.

[TheLifeFantastic]

Mulan, do you have a support group of any kind? A group of people who understands what it feels like? I'm doing good right now, but I do go through my spells. When that happens I need someones shoulder, and when it comes time I will give them mine. It feels like a burden, but I believe that we are given a gift of sorts. We are able to understand how others may feel unlike any other people. If we can stand with each other we can make this better world to live in.