I just want to know I'm loved

So I'm rock bottom and if the two people in my life aren't ignoring me because I'm depressed, they're blaming me/getting mad at me for being depressed. They start blaming me for not listening to their 'suggestions' that I never even asked for, as though everything is my fault. I dare bring up how I'm feeling and what I need and I'm in the wrong, yet again.

I'm unloved. I don't just feel that way, I truly am. I'm 5 seconds away from making a noose. I'm done with it all and I don't know what to do any more.

Do you think you have love for yourself?

I know how it feels to feel unloved, to not have friends or family that cares how you really feel. Dare you mention not feeling as they think you should... But, you can't ever feel love if you die. I guess that's what has kept me trying. I want to feel it so badly, and even though it's been impossible to find, I know I'll definitely never feel it if I'm dead.

Remember depression twists your thoughts. Try to remember that our loved ones may need space. When my depression kicks in, my need for outside reassurances becomes exhausting for me and my loved ones. Depression is not allowing the feeling of love to get through right now. But love is still there. From a fellow human who knows depression, I’m sending you some love. You may not feel it, but it’s still with you. ❤️