[cryingontheinside]

My own daughter hates me . She came to stay with me for the weekend . Everything was going good . I took her out for a meal. We watched movies and chatted. I cooked nice food . Then today from the moment I woke up she was tormenting me. For no reason at all she started saying she hates me and wants to go home to my my mum's house and that she's ashamed to call me her mum. She wanted dinner but she kept screaming at me that it was taking to long. She said it had been in the oven for 3 hours but it was only in the oven for 30 mins. I was washing her clothes too because my mum's washing machine is broken . She creamed at me that I made the clothes dirtier than when I put them in there. She wouldn't stop screaming at me or get out of my face , she was agressive and starting to get a bit violent. I was trying to text my mum because I didn't know how to handle the situation , she snatched my phone out of my hand 3 times and threw it across the room , luckily it didn't break . She told me that she never wants to see me again and that she has never liked coming to stay with me . She told me that she is banning me from my mum's house because she never wants to see my face again. At one point I cried but I tried to run to the bathroom so that she wouldn't see but she saw me and she said I was playing the victim. I said she could get a taxi home on her own if she wanted to because she was demanding to go home when I hadn't even finished cooking her food or washing her clothes . Then she accused me of wanting her to get raped . So I took her home in a taxi as soon as she had eaten and the washing was done. I came home and then I was told she did something similar to my mum as soon as she got there and my my sister had ended up calling the police to go and speak to her . The police did go to my mum's house but my mum said my daughter manipulated the police and they believed her version of the story .
Anyway I was doing alot better untill all of this happened . Now I feel that if my own daughter is ashamed of me and hates me then maybe I should just die. What happened to day has brought back all negative thoughts that I have been keeping at bay. Now I feel worthless and I feel like I am not good enough to be alive . That I don't deserve to be alive because I'm not cool enough , not pretty enough , not successful enough . I just feel so worthless . I give up

[Tryingtoheal77]

You ARE enough, and you ARE important. You daughter's actions are her own, and have no bearing on what you deserve or don't deserve. It sounds like maybe your daughter may need some mental health support as well - sometimes anxiety or depression can come out as anger/rage. It sounds like you were doing the best you could, and doing nothing wrong. Please stay safe and seek additional help if needed. Do you need to call a friend and/or go to the hospital? Are you in therapy or getting medication? Please stay safe. You are worth it.

[ShadowGX]

You sound like a great mum to put up with all of that crap and still want to try to have a relationship with her. She has no idea how lucky she is. What a brat. >:|

Why is your daughter acting like this? Is she having epileptic fits? Please get her to see a doctor.

Hugs and love to you. Stay strong.

[Fuzzybear]

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by Tryingtoheal77

You ARE enough, and you ARE important. You daughter's actions are her own, and have no bearing on what you deserve or don't deserve. It sounds like maybe your daughter may need some mental health support as well - sometimes anxiety or depression can come out as anger/rage. It sounds like you were doing the best you could, and doing nothing wrong. Please stay safe and seek additional help if needed. Do you need to call a friend and/or go to the hospital? Are you in therapy or getting medication? Please stay safe. You are worth it.

Thank you . We are trying to get her mental health support . We have tried before and CAMS rejected the referall but we are trying again. I'm not on my medication at the moment but I'm trying to get some more this week . I'm not in therapy at the moment all though I do need it .

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by ShadowGX

You sound like a great mum to put up with all of that crap and still want to try to have a relationship with her. She has no idea how lucky she is. What a brat. >:|

Thank you . We was having alot of fun untill that happened and it came from nowhere. Even when she was doing it I refused to argue back with her , I was trying to keep her calm but nothing would calm her down and then she went home and started on my mum .

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by Desiree2006

Why is your daughter acting like this? Is she having epileptic fits? Please get her to see a doctor.

Hugs and love to you. Stay strong.

Thank you . She is not having epeleptic fits . We are trying to find out if she has mental health problems so we can get her the help that she needs.

[cryingontheinside]

Thank you fuzzy bear . I really need those hugs

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

[mote.of.soul]

No, don't think those things about yourself, cryingontheinside. You sound like a really good mum actually, and a good person, but, yes, I can understand those self negativities, especially when someone is triggering you - and that's all it is - your daughter was triggering the self negativities. You deserve a happy life as much as anyone, believe me. True, I'm not a parent at all, but your daughter sounds as if she has a lot of hurt and anger in her, that's all, not uncommon. One day she'll come to see she was wrong about you, and she will apologize - I firmly believe that. Is she quite young? Then, that's all it is. Sorry this happened to you though, cryingontheinside - very hurtful. Big hugs. You're doing well, tbh.

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by mote.of.soul

No, don't think those things about yourself, cryingontheinside. You sound like a really good mum actually, and a good person, but, yes, I can understand those self negativities, especially when someone is triggering you - and that's all it is - your daughter was triggering the self negativities. You deserve a happy life as much as anyone, believe me. True, I'm not a parent at all, but your daughter sounds as if she has a lot of hurt and anger in her, that's all, not uncommon. One day she'll come to see she was wrong about you, and she will apologize - I firmly believe that. Is she quite young? Then, that's all it is. Sorry this happened to you though, cryingontheinside - very hurtful. Big hugs. You're doing well, tbh.

Thank you. Thanks for saying I am a good mum . I try my best . She is a teenager .

[mote.of.soul]

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

Thank you. Thanks for saying I am a good mum . I try my best . She is a teenager .

Very welcome.

Yes, a teenager. Very trying times for families, going by what everyone says. Please don't let her harsh words get to you. Kids will say anything half the time.

I don't know where you're from, but here in AU we have family crisis help. Salvation Army is one that's popular.

They come out and assess in the most non intrusive way and give you tools and even saving tricks to help.

Sorry, but I've just got up, but felt obligated to say

[cryingontheinside]

Thanks I'm from the UK I could look into it and see what help is available

Originally Posted by 2ISAB

I don't know where you're from, but here in AU we have family crisis help. Salvation Army is one that's popular.

They come out and assess in the most non intrusive way and give you tools and even saving tricks to help.

Sorry, but I've just got up, but felt obligated to say

[Sassandclass]

From the information in your post, it honestly sounds like your daughter has some serious mental issues. Anger, a demanding attitude, aggression, manipulation, lying — all of these are very toxic behaviours that she seems to be displaying. And the fact she was almost physically abusive towards you is a scary red flag too. Perhaps this was a one time thing - but if not, has she ever considered therapy, or perhaps some medication?

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by Sassandclass

From the information in your post, it honestly sounds like your daughter has some serious mental issues. Anger, a demanding attitude, aggression, manipulation, lying — all of these are very toxic behaviours that she seems to be displaying. And the fact she was almost physically abusive towards you is a scary red flag too. Perhaps this was a one time thing - but if not, has she ever considered therapy, or perhaps some medication?

Thanks for your post . She has behaved like this many times but she usually does it to my mum . She lives with my mum but my mum is struggling to cope with her behaviour and she feels like my daughter is bullying her and sometimes she feels scared that she might do something really violent. My daughter is not living with me because of my mental health but I've always had lots of visits with her . She started therapy but she didn't like it and my mum didn't like the things that the therapist was telling her i.e telling her that she doesn't have to tidy her room . We are trying to get her mental health support . She deffinately has some kind of problems .

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

No wonder your mood has completely crashed. This sounds awful. Big hugs.

It's no reflection on you. You sound lovely.

[Sassandclass]

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

Thanks for your post . She has behaved like this many times but she usually does it to my mum . She lives with my mum but my mum is struggling to cope with her behaviour and she feels like my daughter is bullying her and sometimes she feels scared that she might do something really violent. My daughter is not living with me because of my mental health but I've always had lots of visits with her . She started therapy but she didn't like it and my mum didn't like the things that the therapist was telling her i.e telling her that she doesn't have to tidy her room . We are trying to get her mental health support . She deffinately has some kind of problems .

So sorry you’re dealing with this. And I feel bad for your mum too. That’s pretty rough to be bullied by your own daughter / granddaughter!
I hope things get better for you.