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  #1  
Old Jul 02, 2018, 02:46 AM
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MatBell MatBell is offline
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Feel bad writing so much here lately but I’m just not doing good. Once again. I don’t know what to do with myself, I feel so horrible. Please help.
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  #2  
Old Jul 02, 2018, 03:30 AM
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Originally Posted by MatBell View Post
Feel bad writing so much here lately but I’m just not doing good. Once again. I don’t know what to do with myself, I feel so horrible. Please help.
I don't know what to say. I feel horrible too. Restless and panicky and depressed. I hope you have the strength to pull through this. Stay strong. Much love and hugs to you.
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  #3  
Old Jul 02, 2018, 03:39 AM
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downandlonely downandlonely is offline
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I'm sorry MatBell and Desiree. Hope you feel better soon.
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  #4  
Old Jul 02, 2018, 03:46 AM
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I'm not sure how much help I can bring. I'm kind of a wreck, lately.

If talking helps, I'm here to listen. What's up?
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  #5  
Old Jul 02, 2018, 03:54 AM
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MatBell MatBell is offline
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I just don’t know how to get through this period until my meds hopefully work. Having so many suicidal thoughts
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  #6  
Old Jul 02, 2018, 04:01 AM
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I just don’t know how to get through this period until my meds hopefully work. Having so many suicidal thoughts
I might not have the greatest advice, but I'll try.

I have suicidal thoughts nearly all of the time, it's been like that consistently for well over two years. When it has become too overwhelming, I've gone IP. I have mixed feelings about that one. Other than that, I write out what I want to do and turn it into a short story, a song or a poem. I've talked on here to get it out. Walking and/or doing pushups can help in moments of intense anxiety over the thoughts. Something else that helps is setting goals for myself. I can usually achieve these goals that same day, or it's a long-term goal that has little achievements in between. That's how I've been surviving.
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  #7  
Old Jul 02, 2018, 04:18 AM
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MatBell MatBell is offline
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Originally Posted by Só leigheas View Post
I might not have the greatest advice, but I'll try.


I have suicidal thoughts nearly all of the time, it's been like that consistently for well over two years. When it has become too overwhelming, I've gone IP. I have mixed feeling about that one. Other than that, I write out what I want to do and turn it into a short story, a song or a poem. I've talked on here to get it out. Walking and/or doing pushups can help in moments of intense anxiety over the thoughts. Something else that helps is setting goals for myself. I can usually achieve these goals that same day, or it's a long-term goal that has little achievements in between. That's how I've been surviving.


Thanks. I will try some of this today. Writing helps me too sometimes. Short-term goals for today is a good idea. I can’t do long-term. I don’t know what to do to make things better for me in the long run, that’s the problem. It’s so bleak right now.
I’m not sure about IP too. Don’t know if it will help me.

The thoughts are worst for me early morning with intense anxiety around 4-5 AM. It’s horrible.
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  #8  
Old Jul 02, 2018, 04:21 AM
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If you're in danger, you can go to the ER. If not, I'm not sure what can help.
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  #9  
Old Jul 02, 2018, 04:39 AM
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Thanks. I will try some of this today. Writing helps me too sometimes. Short-term goals for today is a good idea. I can’t do long-term. I don’t know what to do to make things better for me in the long run, that’s the problem. It’s so bleak right now.
I’m not sure about IP too. Don’t know if it will help me.

The thoughts are worst for me early morning with intense anxiety around 4-5 AM. It’s horrible.
My anxiety hits me (at least really hits me) about three times a day: When I first get up, midday when everything's quiet and the hours before I go to bed. To get through these, I listen to a ton of music. I write even more and I focus on breathing deep with my diaphragm. Lately, I've been using medicinal marijuana a lot more but that should only be reccomended by a doctor of some sort.
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Old Jul 02, 2018, 09:21 AM
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I just don’t know how to get through this period until my meds hopefully work. Having so many suicidal thoughts
I'm in the same situation. Waiting for my meds to work and feeling suicidal . I also feel bad for those who can't get meds because of cost or they are allergic . It seems like so many of us are not doing well but we would all help each other if we could because we are selfless despite our own pain. I hope your meds kick in soon and mine too
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  #11  
Old Jul 02, 2018, 09:42 AM
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Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
I'm in the same situation. Waiting for my meds to work and feeling suicidal . I also feel bad for those who can't get meds because of cost or they are allergic . It seems like so many of us are not doing well but we would all help each other if we could because we are selfless despite our own pain. I hope your meds kick in soon and mine too


I’m sorry to hear that. I know just how it is. The days are really hard. Have you found anything that makes it better? Maybe we can help eachother out?
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  #12  
Old Jul 02, 2018, 09:59 AM
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I’m sorry to hear that. I know just how it is. The days are really hard. Have you found anything that makes it better? Maybe we can help eachother out?
I've been phoning the Samaritans but they can't hear me properly , my phone is breaking . I've also been trying to watch movies and playing online games like poker for a distraction and reaching out for help on here . I phoned my mum crying and surprisingly she turned up at my door to help me clean which was amazing of her and unexpected . I had bath too that helped a bit. Do you live alone or with family ?
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  #13  
Old Jul 02, 2018, 10:43 AM
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MatBell MatBell is offline
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Originally Posted by cryingontheinside View Post
I've been phoning the Samaritans but they can't hear me properly , my phone is breaking . I've also been trying to watch movies and playing online games like poker for a distraction and reaching out for help on here . I phoned my mum crying and surprisingly she turned up at my door to help me clean which was amazing of her and unexpected . I had bath too that helped a bit. Do you live alone or with family ?

That was nice of your mom. I have a tendency to isolate when things are bad but I’m working on not doing that so much.
I live on my own unfortunately. I don’t think my family knows how to handle how I’m feeling. They probably don’t know how bad it is.
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  #14  
Old Jul 03, 2018, 01:02 AM
raf_edd raf_edd is offline
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Keep strong brother, I used to have a lot more anxiety attacks back when I started the medication. It's a process you will feel better, as far suicidal thoughts go. I just hope you don't hurt yourself! I also have them, just make sure you do therapy. Work on yourself man. Bless you
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  #15  
Old Jul 03, 2018, 04:43 AM
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cryingontheinside cryingontheinside is offline
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Originally Posted by MatBell View Post
That was nice of your mom. I have a tendency to isolate when things are bad but I’m working on not doing that so much.
I live on my own unfortunately. I don’t think my family knows how to handle how I’m feeling. They probably don’t know how bad it is.
I live alone too and tend to isolate also . We have some similarities . Send me a private message any time , maybe we can support each other
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