Can anyone share what the conversation was like when you first told someone you were suicidal. I mean, what was said? How did you approach it? I'd like to find the words to be able to express it to someone I care about, but am just not sure how.

The only time I ever said it to someone I was so out of it from depression that I can't remember how it went.

Other times, I've said lightly, "Oh, I want to die," but it is not taken seriously, and only as a form of expression, which is good.

May I ask what you hope to achieve by telling the person you care about? I'm not hoping to discourage you from telling them.

Originally Posted by emptynightmare

The only time I ever said it to someone I was so out of it from depression that I can't remember how it went.

Other times, I've said lightly, "Oh, I want to die," but it is not taken seriously, and only as a form of expression, which is good.

May I ask what you hope to achieve by telling the person you care about? I'm not hoping to discourage you from telling them.

I am not entirely sure, at this moment, what I hope to achieve. I just feel like if I get it out in the open, the thoughts might lessen; or at least the intensity might lessen. It's almost like these thoughts are more "alluring" because no one knows about it. It's like the underage child that is more attracted to "smoking" because he is underage and hiding it is mysterious. I know that is a terrible analogy, but it's something like that.

[MtnTime2896]

The hardest person to tell was my mom. Out of my siblings, I was the one my parents believed "had my **** together". They thought I wasn't "plagued" with anything other than mild depression at the worst. They had no idea that the first time I remember being suicidal I was only in the first grade and before that it was suicidal ideation. I've always been secretive toward my parents. So when I ended up in the hospital, I kept that from my mom because I could. I couldn't from my dad because he would've seen the bills. Telling him, I didn't talk about the suicidality as much as I confessed that I had been diagnosed with PTSD. Then I ended up right back in IP a week after I got out the first time. This time, for a very close attempt. I decided to tell my mom while I was IP. I don't remember my exact words other than, "My head's really ****ed up, mom. And I can't stop it." I cried the whole time I told her. It was one of the only times I've ever cried in front of her since middle school. She cried, too, and she held me like I was her little kid. She told me she had a feeling and that she understood. She told me to quit trying to be so strong for her when it's supposed to be the other way around. I've been able to talk to my mom ever since. Her reaction was nothing like I expected and she surprised the hell out of me, but I'm grateful for it.

[MtnTime2896]

Living in secret can take it's toll, especially when you just need someone's support. Not everyone reacts the way my mom did. I've lost "friends" as a result of them discovering my mental illnesses. But those who've stayed, they mean the world to me.

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

The hardest person to tell was my mom. Out of my siblings, I was the one my parents believed "had my **** together". They thought I wasn't "plagued" with anything other than mild depression at the worst. They had no idea that the first time I remember being suicidal I was only in the first grade and before that it was suicidal ideation. I've always been secretive toward my parents. So when I ended up in the hospital, I kept that from my mom because I could. I couldn't from my dad because he would've seen the bills. Telling him, I didn't talk about the suicidality as much as I confessed that I had been diagnosed with PTSD. Then I ended up right back in IP a week after I got out the first time. This time, for a very close attempt. I decided to tell my mom while I was IP. I don't remember my exact words other than, "My head's really ****ed up, mom. And I can't stop it." I cried the whole time I told her. It was one of the only times I've ever cried in front of her since middle school. She cried, too, and she held me like I was her little kid. She told me she had a feeling and that she understood. She told me to quit trying to be so strong for her when it's supposed to be the other way around. I've been able to talk to my mom ever since. Her reaction was nothing like I expected and she surprised the hell out of me, but I'm grateful for it.

Thanks for sharing this. The problem I have in expressing this to anyone is this: When I was a teen, I was in and out the mental hospital several times. However, 95% of the so-called "suicidality" was just me being a spoiled brat looking for attention. Then at age 20 things started to change in my life for the better. I hadn't had any "problems" since. I haven't been re-admitted or been on any medication ever since. So, as far as my family is concerned, I have my "act together". Now that I am truly struggling with suicidality, it's difficult to even consider opening up about it. Because to them it would be "same old, same old". When in reality, I am having a real problem that I never really truly had before.


When people say, "if you play with fire you will end up burned"... they ain't just whistlin' Dixie.

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by StarGazer28

Thanks for sharing this. The problem I have in expressing this to anyone is this: When I was a teen, I was in and out the mental hospital several times. However, 95% of the so-called "suicidality" was just me being a spoiled brat looking for attention. Then at age 20 things started to change in my life for the better. I hadn't had any "problems" since. I haven't been re-admitted or been on any medication ever since. So, as far as my family is concerned, I have my "act together". Now that I am truly struggling with suicidality, it's difficult to even consider opening up about it. Because to them it would be "same old, same old". When in reality, I am having a real problem that I never really truly had before.


When people say, "if you play with fire you will end up burned"... they ain't just whistlin' Dixie.

Could you say the same thing to them that you just told me? Exactly like that, too.

The truth is, there's no right way to open up about this. And the only way to do it, is to just do it.

No one will know how they'll respond, not even them, until it happens.

If this is something you need and feel will help you through this hell, don't allow uncertainty stop you.

[raf_edd]

I cowardly made a video and sent to my sister, she didn't know what it was. She called me back crying, and desperate. In perspective I see it as cry for help. It's hard man, this kind of stuff is difficult. I did it over a phone call. And face to face only with my psiquiatrist, or the old "I wanna be dead" comment that no one cares about.