Is there a way out?

I m plain frustrated.
You see I did my undergrad in psychology from a good university about 4yrs back....so I can't be retarded. Then I had to give up studies for a while bc of a work assignment. Now my brain's got so slow that I m having a hard time even understanding a simple story book. I wanted to study my biopsychology book again...in fact I was reading neural conduction and signal transmission...the first 15-20mins were fine...after that I couldn't remember anything. Same thing when I was listening to lectures on psychopharmacology. I also wanted to read Linehan's book on DBT but I couldn't. But I must have studied more difficult things in my undergrad. I wonder what's wrong with me. Why is my brain behaving like this as if there's a signal shutdown? Will things ever get back to normal? I hear a humming sound inside my brain 24/7. It's very disturbing and tiring. My head aches and feels heavy all the time. Well I m sacrificing a lot...can't say beyond this right now...but will I get back to where I was? Maybe after 2-3years if not right now? I m willing to wait.
I feel scared. What if I never recover? What if I m permanently scarred?
Is there hope?

Are you making sure you alternate in some things that are fun or pleasurable? All jack and no fun makes Jill dull for boys, or something like that.
I used to have to limit my study time to 15-45 minutes a go, so that I'd take breaks

I also think will I ever be happy again, be me again (whatever that is). Nothing ever stays the same we can be sure of that. That sometimes comforts me when I’m not doing good.

You need to check this with your psiquiatrist, I was a decent student as a kid, got admitted in college and everything, but after my crisis I just felt like retarded, couldn't understand or process little things, I failed miserably at things I could do a few years back. Gutted me but quitting was the right choice, and in a family of proud graduates I felt like a failure. Actually I don't even try to read becouse my attention span is terrible. It's something I have to learn to deal with. Anyway don't t lose hope. Ur case might be different. Hugs!

Thanks. ok i'll try it out. After how many mins do i take a break and for how many mins?
Did you mean that you studied for 45min and took a 15min break? I guess I need to take a break every 20mins currently as I feel my brain's too tired and slow.

I quit too. But I can't even take up a job. Don't know what to do. I really want to join university again maybe not now but after 2-3years. I want to complete my grads....sigh
Btw I talked to my pdoc - he reduced my anti-psychotic. Hope that'll help a bit.

Wish you nothing but good luck sister. So many people with our "illness" are genius and graduated from college! Just make sure you choose your passion!

((((((((( Desiree )))))))))

Love and hugs

Never give up hope.

Desiree

Take a break when you need to. I would get into the act of studying and keep pushing until I wasn't doing the things to reset and relax my brain

i am still worried about the side effects of the medication you are on...
and also the condition of your thyroid function...
there is hope for you...you are a good motivated person in a tough spot..

Thanks little turtle. I checked my tsh a few months back(less than 6months) and it was ok. Im going to start on omega 3 in a week and I have been exercising and eating healthy. My pdoc reduced my anti-psychotic - amisulpride- from 50mg to 25mg bc I was sleeping a lot and was having problem processing information. Now I m on 20mg prozac, 200mg lamictal, 20mg buspar and 25mg amisulpride(idk by what brand name it's called in the us).Hopefully i'll be alright.
I need to go out a bit more and i'll try to push myself to do that.

is TSH test going to be good enough for you..
I hope I am being supportive...

Yes you are very supportive. Thank you.
Do you think I ought to do a t3 and t4 too along with the tsh?

even more than that...

Oh

maybe endocrinologist...you are suffering ...you need to cover
your bases...

(((((((( Desiree ))))))))
Thinking of you ...

Thanks fuzzy. Thinking of you too.
(((((fuzzy)))))

I need to see my cardiologist too. It's been over a year now. He had asked me to see him after 6months. He knows about endocrinology and medicine in general ... he may be able to help.

My main problem apart from depression is that my brain feels tired and I m low in energy 24/7. It's quite frustrating.

how about tired brain from med side effects...

I really don't know.

You are describing some pretty dry subject matter. That sort of material can be hard to get engaged with when you're not attending lectures that help put an outline in your mind and gets you doing some relevant note-taking. I bet that's more the problem than any change in your native capacities. Emotional ups and downs take a toll on motivation more than they affect cognitive capability - IMHO. At least that's been my experience.

My academic work involved a fair amount of pretty dry subject matter. You can't sit down and just read a chapter, like you would a short-story in an English Lit. anthology. The texts that go with fundamentals courses are actually a lot more engaging that the technical tomes that treat advanced subject matter.

It's hard to focus your attention on advanced, dry, technical stuff in the absence of a concrete, practical goal. Part of the brain rebels and says, "So what . . . who cares?" The dutiful part of your mind says, "I should be interested in this." Realistically though, you just aren't. Someday you can be - given a context that supplies some motivation. You might want to leave some of this matter for later when you might be taking an actual course that requires it. In the past, you have wrapped your brain around difficult concepts. But that was in the context of hearing a professor lecture on the stuff, having classroom discussions, sharing notes with peers, etc. Why do you suppose it's near impossible to learn a second language without being immersed in a country where it is spoken - no matter how many courses you've taken in that language? The human brain is economical. It tends to not retain what it has no compelling need for.

To keep up with your academic area of interest, look more to journal articles that aren't excessively scholarly. Read the kind of journals that are accessible to non-specialists - like Psychology Today. Those can be a springboard to delve into more technical stuff.

Right now you need to either take a course or get a job . . . or finish kicking back, if you've chosen to take a break. In the context, eventually, of passing a course or performing well in a work-environment, you'll have motivation to study specific literature that is relevant to what you're doing.