Voices sound like mumblings through a wall
sometimes I dont hear at all
I don't see clearly through the tears of pain
falling like cold winters rain....
crimson bleeding from deep in my soul
sometimes my tales plug a hole
my mind whirls noisily, mixing up dreams
ghosts and dark angels torment it seems.
Deep from within a child calls
but only mumblings from the thick damp walls....
Can't get up from my foetal pose
each time I move my courage goes....
wretched and motiveless for days on end
how much longer can I pretend?
Dont want to be here, nothing inspires
just a pile of ashes by a lifeless fire.
Broken and hurting, can't be fixed
since the early days my mind was mixed.
A thousand times I've tried to ignite
tried to find that significant light.
It's useless, pathetic I'm just not meant
to be here at all, no longer hell bent
on finding that freedom I wanted so bad
loosing the battle, the will I once had.
Just want to lay down and rot into my earth
Please whoever is listening dont want rebirth.....

j

the voices
and noises
will in time fade away
beautiful melodies will come to stay
hurt and pain in days of tears
haunting memories creating enormous fears
keep breathing and soon you will be surprised
how the tormenting emotions will be downsized
search your way on this path you're walking
close your brain to the distant voices talking
not an easy task- I know
still I have deep faith in you standing up again after every rough blow
because you are so much more than you think my dear
with a brilliant fighting spirit and a sword sharp and clear
you will defeat the creatures from history's cruel days
to feel freedom building up inside of your veins as you view the return of the sun's rays

[nowheretorun]

Jinny imagine
the soft mountain dew
wrapped up in daydream
the whispers come true
each breath before you
is gift from above
in stillness and softness
you think of your love...

[jacq10]

I'm not one for poetry, but know that I'm here, arms open.
Please take good care of yourself

xo Jacq

thanks all, I just cant hear your words right now, sorry. black iron door of depression descended sometime between night and now

[moodyblu]

I am so sorry Kerry girl....that is sad that you feel so bad.
I know this will pass though honey...so hang in there. You have your friends here to support you!
Hugs my dear...to make up for the ones I missed in "Kudos".
d.

Buzzing, noise, nothing but noise
never quiet never
rustling, music, talking, grating
goes on for ever.....
please leave me alone, go
get out of my head
my space, the sound of my son
crunching even gettin in my face.
Peace please just give me peace
cant stand this noise always
Just need MY release.......
Everythng I always did for everyone
now it's my turn
give me understanding for once
for this I YEARN.
Tired of feeling guilty
FOR SOMETHING I NEVER DID
I never asked him to do those things
I HID............
Now I'm putting this pain onto everyone around me
cant deal with that
you'd ALL be better off without me
is where I'm at.
I'm just not strong enough for this
cant go back to masks
left in limbo, pergatory
to be extinguished is all I ask.

j

want to be anonymous
invisible to all
my heart and soul yearn for peace
Under a rock I crawl.
dark and wet and silent
I lie here all my days
just thinking about nothing
until I fade away.
cant function here anymore
all is lost I fear
cant stop the guilt or sadness
cant stop the flow of tears.
no way to live no way to die
the middle I will stay
pushing all the loved ones
far far away.
can you die from misery
from hopelessness, despair?
If so take this useless life
discard it anywhere.
I dont want to feel, dont want to cry
Just need to be left alone
let me rot into the ground
from underneath my stone.

j