Fragile Sanity

Do any of you ever feel the fragility of your sanity?

It's like, since I've gotten home from the hospital, I feel as though anything can cause another psychotic or bad depressive episode. My head just feels like it's teetering on the edge of healthy and falling apart.

I'm feeling better but, to be honest, I really don't feel much of anything. It's kinda like I have emotions but they're very subdued. Now all I seem to have is thoughts that I'm having difficulty not saying. My filter has been slightly damaged.

Anyway, just had that question.

Sort of, but probably not quite to your same extent. I've never had a psychotic breakdown I don't think, closest thing for me was just some really emotional times where I attempted. I've never self-harmed otherwise, only thought about it a lot. I do feel like I'm teetering on going back to that place though, especially recently. Last night probably would have been such a time had I not been at work. My problem is basically the opposite of you, I have too many emotions and have a hard time controlling them when I get worked up.

I think my limited emotions is due to my meds. Because I was like that until IP.

Pretty much... no meds......

I do see the fragility of my own sanity Só leigheas, yes, I do. In fact, in some ways I do actually think I'm mad in terms of how distorted my thinking can get, if I don't stay on the ball. But I counter that by telling myself, well, if I'm mad for having distorted thinking then everyone's mad, because I personally believe everyone's thoughts are distorted to some degree. I mean you only have to look at the state of the world, the daily horrors, the every day abuses, to see that somethings not right in mans brain. But, yes, there have been a lot of days where I was very worried for my own sanity, sure.

Anyway, you're doing really well Só leigheas, a real fighter. And maybe having the subdued emotions is better than having the intense OTT types of emotions? I prefer the subdued, myself.

I understand your fear of having another episode: you've been through a lot and you don't want to go back to it again. But don't worry, if you've been through it once, you can do it no matter what. You're strong