Confessions of little turtle with love #2

It's been over one and a half months since my bf disappeared. I miss him very very much. He keeps on disappearing from time to time... but never for this long. I wonder when he's going to come back, if he is going to come back at all. I feel frustrated, hopeless and afraid of the future. I feel restless too... maybe bc of my psych meds.
Don't know what to do to feel better. Life seems such a drag....no motivation.😟 Seems as if I m going to break down any moment.

I stopped taking my anti-depressant(prozac 20mg) as well as my anti-psychotic(amisulptide - 25mg). They were causing restlessness and anxiety. I cut down on lamictal as well. Now I feel less like a zombie. But the lack of motivation and frustration and sadness are still there.

I am also on amisulpride.

Do you have any side-effect from the med?

Desiree, I suggest you to watch the movie The Theory of Everything when you have the time. You know, Professor Hawking is the only reason I am still alive and keep going, months after my will to become a medical doctor died. I've improved a lot, I no longer want a motorcycle and I am fine with buying a bicycle, I no longer am a freak, I have friends who trust me with lab records (journals), I also hang out with some people in college. I've improved personally but my situation has not, at least that's what I conclude.

Dr.Hawking suffered a life long disability starting from the age of 21. But then he met Jane, a young woman at Cambridge and he found love. She divorced him for another person much later after Dr.Hawking became a world-renowned scientist, that's another story entirely, but it was the power of love which made Dr.Hawking not to give up. He even said it in many of his speeches.

I, experiencing my own psychological trauma after discovering there's a history of neuropsychological disorders on both sides of my family, decided to become a neuroscientist instead and help discover treatments for disorders like ALS. I've even wrote to neuroscientists online, and I have a sense of purpose now. I no longer just want to 'help people', I want to change the world!

Long story short, there are people like Dr.Stephen Hawking who suffered so much, their lives give us a message worthwhile remembering through our entire life time. Here is Hawking's final speech.

I am showing grandiosity and a lot of restless and anxiety. I am thinking about going to my doctor soon.

Yeah you ought to see your doctor.

In a haste I forgot to write the most important thing - Dr.Hawking suffered more than me, more than you, yet he still lived a self-fulfilled life. He did not stop his disability from doing most things. Although he could not walk, he still made tremendously advanced discoveries in theoretical physics. The reason why he is my idol and my inspiration, is because he was an innocent and brilliant person who was struck down by a terrible disease and had to live without being able to do basic movements like walking for decades.

It was the power of love, which made him able to finish his PhD. It's not just from the movie, it's what the doctor himself said. He always said, "There are no boundaries"


If you're going through hard times, I can't say I can apply his quotes from the context aside from academia, I can still suggest you to read and watch about him. It will give you the courage to live. Life will not seem like a drag anymore.

The Theory of Everything - Cambridge, 1963 (Intro) from Johann Johannsson

The intro.



The ending.

Of his biographical movie, The Theory of Everything.

I have to refrain myself and understard the limits of the my new found self. I am very excitable and sleep can get to second plan.
And then today I felt so bad, so dissociated, anxious and relly bad physically.
Iam used to ignore my phisical symptoms, but I got a bit scaried today. Thinking and feeling everything of you at the same time and working like there isnt a tomorrow isnt any good! I never imagined I could be so funcional with só little ours of sleep, but then it hitted me! Dam!
Living in the limits of your capabiities as depressed is not the same as living in the limit of your capabiities while not so depressed.
Hello sleep!

And need someone to talk me to reason sometimes.

I have to compartamentalized: this is lack of sleep, this is anxiety (because...), this is depression and this is me.
And probably being me is ok, but being me is too much.

I think that’s probably a good idea about compartmentalising

Hugs to all

medication

I’d be such a “nice” bear if I could take the ****kng meds

I might even be an “alive” bear (and no I don’t have “plans” ..)

Please no bite or lecturing bear

Hugs to you Thirty shades and everyone

I feel very tense and sad ... love to all

Hi sugarbeeMe it’s good to see you again

We are here for the bear.

CBT is helping me too. I think the bear would be a good candidate. Search schemas a bit. 💕

I like what is going on here...hugs

http://https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wi...a_(psychology)

This is from the good old one Wikipédia. I dont know any good books on the subject but I may try tem uma find some.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&sour...4RcjElQitc3Un9

Young is the main creator of the concept I think. I found this link in english from him. It's a therapy for personality problems but from what I wonderstood it applies to almost everyone. And it is good for smart, sensitive people with childhood traumas.
I hope it helps someone.
Since I start learning this I just identify schemas in almost everybody I know.

Thanks for sharing Mulan

little turtle

Hugs to all!