Realization

The world can shut us down. They don't listen to us...

There is no understanding of our needs....

Choose who you can talk to safely without judgement. Therapists are trained to offload us ASAP.

It feels to me like they turn on us because they have no answers. I have spoken to ones who ask me "what help do I need?" If we knew that we would not be there....

Many care here
Much love to you

I am a student of social work in the USA and our Code of Ethic stated that client self determination is a key of success. With masters degree social worker becomes counselor and that is what we ask clients .. what we are trained for.. but if you have many problems that you need to express a good counselor will ask you what you want to work first.. not what help do you need.. after all we are not experts on your life.. sorry .. I do not want to be rude.. I am just offering perspective on things..

I hope you will find a good counselor who will ask you what you want to work on first.. I know some of them do not listen.. at all..

I appreciate you have such options in the USA but here in the UK, we do not have good counseling available. Six sessions of CBT is your lot.

Our NHS is overstretched and set up for those with thinking problems. Deep issues are rejected or ignored. They are worried that you may become dependent on counseling and offload you for the fear of this. My GP accepts that I am not going to get better as he has nowhere to refer me for treatment. Here doctors do harm to people with MI by rejecting them further and blaming them for their health. We are known here as "those kind of people."

I wish you well with your career. Thankfully you are not studying in the UK.

I honestly already do this - have for years. Because of this my family and I have very few conversations per year and when we do, they generally range anywhere from 5-15 minutes. However, unless I am to quit socializing altogether, that is not going to resolve all my issues. These are not people who tell me what a rotten person I am bc of xyz ... instead these are people who simply make it clear that my thoughts/feelings are not as significant as either their own or someone else.

An example would be:

Situation: A teenage boy is cheating on his teenage girlfriend. They have been dating 2 years.

Me: They are still young, yes, but they should use it as a learning experience in communication since they have been together so long. Try talking it through and see if they can work things out.

Person 1: She can never trust him again.

Person 2: You're right, she should kick him to the curb.

Me: Don't you think it's worth giving it a chance?

***silence***

Me: Well, don't you?

Person 1: why?

Me: because they been together so long

Person 1: so?

Me: nevermind

Person 1: well, what does that have to do with anything?

Me: nothing I guess, forget it.

(Small example but an example nonetheless)

This seems to be a therapeutic thread for some. I encourage you to continue using it. I am going to bow out of it now - both bc I was never able to adequately describe what I intended and bc it is not as bad as it was formerly.

I do wish all of you well with the varying similar issues you are dealing with. If you would like to talk, I am only a PM away. *hugs*

That's called a disagreement. Everyone has them. We all experience moments like that.

Have you reversed the situation? They share a view, you share an opposing view. Neither you nor they are budging, or even attempting to hear the others views. You're both just giving your view. Yet you interpret that as not being heard or listened to, but you don't see it as you doing the same to them. Yet they don't see your not accepting their stance as suggesting they aren't being listened to.
The only real difference is that you take it personally if they are that way to you, but they don't take it personal when you do it to them.

And since you so easily back down you encourage their behavior of being dismissive of you. Not taking things so personally and being willing to stand firm could change things, though it will take a long time.