[turquoisesea]

Today and some of yesterday i was feeling really blank... to the point that I cut off all my friends as of last night. I ignored a few knocks on my room when I knew she wanted to go out to eat or something, ignored some sad msns/phone calls from someone I care about.

I'm still feeling well... unfeeling. But I'm thinking about tommorrow. Today I just stayed in my room all day. Tommorrow I have classes, and rehearsal with one of those friends who I basically blew off because I just couldn't handle facing everything and putting on my normal happy face.

what do I say.... I cant say I was in my room working because well then I'd have to explain why I ignored.... wasnt practicing or at school where she would have seen me.... just what do I do. And about my other friend too .... I just dont know.
I dont want to have to face it but I will and I dont want to show this unfeeling cold and horrible side of me to them

[dragonphoto]

(((((Turquoi)))))

The best thing you can do is be honest with your friends. They are your best support group. Just tell them I was not feeling myself yesterday and I was wondering if you could listen to what was going on and help me out. It is very hard going through what you are going through. There is always a bright light at the end of the tunnel. Just keep walking and keep your friends close. When you feel that you can't face anyone get up out of bed and pick up the phone and call them. Tell them what you are feeling and they will be more than willing to help you out the best they can.

[nowheretorun]

can you tell them what you're going thru? good friends will ofefer support and care wouldn't they?

i know it can hurt, and as for me, sometimes (often) as a teen i made mistakes and didnt know just who was really my best friend...

i guess i really dont know if you're a teen...

[turquoisesea]

Yes I'm a teen, 19 years old...

I'm a shy kind of person, with the kind of friends where you don't have many but the ones you do have a relatively close. But i just don't want to tell them. Maybe it's that I'm afraid to, embarrased to, maybe it's that they see this one side of me that's generally been there and I don't want to be this person who sits in her room not CARING how someone else feels because I can't feel enough to care, or I still care but not enough to do something about it. maybe
it's also that I don't trust them enough. One of them, for instance is really sweet but without meaning to shares things with EVERYONE.... another I'm just afraid it wont be accepted. Others I just wouldn't even think of it.
I just don't trust people... and am not used to expressing emotions like this... it took me a while to even start posting on here... a long while.

[nowheretorun]

i understand... well, its smart to be careful who you trust, but i i think its important to find someone...

i kep my thoughts and feelings bottled up, and believe me, not healthy...

but its good you can come here to tell how you feel and getting it out..

what i didnt know then, is that some of my friends felt exactly like i did but, for some of the same reasons as i, chose not to say anything.. wish they had

[turquoisesea]

thanks for the posts



I really appreciate it

[ChipsAhoy]

I understand how you are feeling right now. I can get very depressed around the holidays as well. Take it easy.