[itsjustme111]

I spoke to my lawyer today, he informed me that we have Court procedures on the 24th and 25th. This will mean that I have two full days in a room with my ex and his lawyer. I have my kids until the 15th of this month, then they go back to dads. How am I supposed to get the help I need before having to go through these procedings. I can't even stand straight half the time. I am so dizzy and I get really confused. I am trying to eat but I just can't. I had a small salad today, but it did not stay put. BECAUSE I AM A FAILURE. So I will look totally incompetent on these court days; so they can take everything away; just like they wanted. I may sound like a big baby but I don't think I can do this anymore. Just when I realize and make an appointment with my doctor to get some help; this happens. I don't know what to do. I feel so awful. What does it matter anymore; I can't stop this anyway. I am too weak.
Elizabeth.

[dexter]

You are not a big baby... you are just overwhelmed and you have a right to be.

Do what you can to take some time and let the anxiety pass. Do you have some coping excersizes to help with all the anxiety? Let things fall into place so you can deal with them again, maybe is there anyone who can help, a friend or something, who can just help you get a handle on the scheduling? Or call the doc's office and see if they have any advice, maybe something you can do to fit everything in.

You know and I know that not eating is not good for your health or emotional state, but that does NOT make you a failure! In fact it means your body is working the way bodies do. It becomes very hard to eat, and hard to keep it down, when we are under a lot of stress. Maybe not the "best" of all of our body-machine's "features" but that's what it does and there's probably some good reason for it doing so.

You are NOT a failure for reacting to stress... you are a SUCCESS for eating that salad today... realizing it was hard to eat and picking something that you thought would help as opposed to eating nothing. Keep eating what you can and you are not a failure as long as you keep trying. And you ARE still trying, or else none of this would bother you. You want to have things resolved, and right now it is difficult or impossible to see how to do so, but that doesn't mean there aren't ways, so just keep fighting for what you know to be right, and for what you need to do to get yourself through this with your health and well being intact.

{{{{{{{{itsjustme}}}}}}}}

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--http://www.idexter.com

[itsjustme111]

Hey Dexter. Thank you for your response. It made me feel better. I am unsure of what to do. I don't have any friends right now, that are close by me anyway. I consider all of you my friends and I thank you for it!!! I guess I dont feel like I tried because I ate, I purged of purpose. I have let this eating disorder take over me and now I am throwing up blood. Yes, I agree that I need to go and see my doctor anyway, maybe he has some suggestions. I was hoping that he could maybe provide a letter letting the courts know of some of my issues; maybe with the recent loss of my baby; they could extend the time line for these procedings. Anyway, Thanks again, you made my day; (((((((Dexter))))))).
Elizabeth