[LadyDragus]

It was like someone else overtook me.
She swerved to hit my car and I swerved so she would miss
I was doing the speed limit, but she did nto care she did not look, did not use a turn singla, nor did she care if she hit me or not
Rage took over, in a way I have never felt before???It seemed like I was not me...
I speed up, to match her, She stayed in front of me , got in the same turn lane I was in, and I put my car in park, and got out of my car walked up to her window and yelled at her,
Me yelling at a woman in her car for almost hitting my car..
With me and brandi, and Jessica in the car..
( i have never did this before) I am not this type of person [crying]

*** <font color=blue>
I still do not know what overcame me yesterday when this happend, It went past anxeity, and went to a rage I do not ever want to see in me again.. I was ready to kill this person for almost running me into oncoming traffic...
I was shaking so hard, my teeth were chattering with my arms and legs, and every other part of my body.. I have only gotten this made once before when someone hit me..

I do not understand this,, First the anxiety attacks now the uncontrolled "outburts" of anger???? Where is this all coming from????

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[dexter]

{{{{{{LD}}}}}}

I have felt this way before... often in fact. I have developed some bad "road rage" and in my case I can tell that it swells when I am not feeling well personally. Sometimes I think in spite of what other drivers are doing, it is something self destructive in me that causes me to react. There have been times when I've even had the urge to ram my car (nothing more than a thought... it is scary but I would not act on it) and a few times when I have followed people in anger.

Given the state of drivers today such behaviour can be dangerous... you never know what might be behind their anger.

I am still working on the source of the problem. But I also find it helps at times to just focus on the road itself. It isn't often the kind of thing for me where someone almost causes an accident, more doing something inconsiderate or unsafe. I may have the urge to "speed up" and beat them to the next light or something. When I can, I try to remember the bigger picture... why do I think I am in such a hurry (usually it is just the human drive to be there fast... there is no real reason) and I try to slow down and just let the other person go and forget about it. If I can do this after each "incident" I find I get home much happier.

In the incident that you describe though maybe part of your anger was that she might have caused an accident with children in the car, maybe part of it was a response of being protective of them, although afterwards you felt bad about the outburst also partly because they were there to see it.

Lady Dragus one thing I have learned about you is you have a great ability to see things through and sort things out. This may have been an isolated incident and something to be aware of but not to worry about. Or there maybe something deeper going on and thinking about this may expose something that will help you in situations like this and in other types of things as well. You always seem to put "learning about yourself" to good use, is what I am trying to say.

We are here to talk about this and help you sort through these feelings. Whether or not this is something that is a sign of some other problem remember what a great attribute it is to recognize when you are not "acting like yourself". It is a scary thing to realize, but in the long run will help you be happier. A lot of people would have just blown off the incident stating the woman deserved it (which she probably did... but that is not the point).

I hope I'm not babbling too much... I don't feel I've been as clear-headed in my responses for a while... due to all the changes going on here.

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

[LadyDragus]

It took me hours to "clam" down.. I still feel weird in a sense..
I do not know why I jumped out of my car and ran up to her's..
That is what bothers me the most I quess, for I have never did that..
I have people cut me off, and I just cuss them out and go on.. But this time, something "snapped" and I just almost snapped myself I think..

I posted this to be able to do just what you said talk it through with others, to try and sort it all out.. Talk to my boyfreind helped a little, but he always give me the same answer "it will all be ok".. I soemtimes get tired of hearing that..
I want someone to talk to me, try to do waht you all do on here.. Why can I not get that offline???????????????

Something is not correct, or I am just overreacting I am not sure, But she sparked something in me, that I do nto like.. I can still feel the "rage" in me now, and I am trying to get rid of it, in safe ways, like playing games online, or writing poems.. but that is no longer helping.. Which is also starting to worry me, cause those are my "safe" outlets.. My body is craving somehting else and I have no idea what it is..

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[gloria]

catarsis!

It's ok, this too shall pass.
I once was so out of it that I barked at a dog when he was trying to bite me. I think I was to terrified to react in a proper way.

You wanna know what the dog did? He looked at me as if I was crazy and ran the other way. ( ha ha ha ) But I didn't get a bite that day.

gab

[shakes]

Somedays make things harder to deal with then others. When I am anxious and feeling down my tolerance for others is very very low and I could see myself in your situation if it happened to me.
Please do not be too hard on yourself. You are human and although that behavior is not like you this situation could have triggered some survival instincts in you.

(((Lady Dragus)))))

Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>

[LMo]

Now wait a minute ... who WOULDN"T be seriously pissed off that someone else was so careless that they could have killed or seriously injured you and your two children??? OF COURSE you were furious!!!!! Anybody would be! Don't beat yourself up over it -- anger is a defense mechanism and it sounds like yours is working.

We are ALL going to be a-ok!

[LadyDragus]

I was more than pissed off at someone LMo, I was beyond that emotion.. I actually think if I had broke her window I would have been in jail, which you know that is not like me I am not a viloent person to others, never really have been. I do nto do things like this, which is what I am tyring to fiqure out why, I am reacting this way ????

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[LadyDragus]

I really do hope this will pass, I have been off key ever since this happend.. I feel sorta out of place, like I am walking around, and I do not recall what I am doing..

Almost like, who are you, what are you doing in my body? Sort of thing at times?
Which is really weired

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[LadyDragus]

I am trying not to be too hard on myslef.. Cause I had my child in the car, which means I should never had gotten out of the car in the first place..
Bad mojo on my part, and I had a nother rider in the car with me, which could have caused all kinds of probemls if we had been hit while I was'nt in my car...


<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[(JD)]

yes rage....

prior to my most current deeper dip in depression ( as we all know I am always depressed ... I go from bad to worse and back to bad unfortunately...)

anyway... my study showed that this road rage happened upon the scene and intensifies as the internet usage and expectations increases

I think there's the connection.

The entire society is focusing around the "self." What is there that isn't about "ME?" If it's about you, then it isn't as important. Just listen to the ppl talk IRL... it's all about them.

The internet made it this way. When one is on the computer, they are in total control (assuming it's working properly)... they request information and zap there it is... not enough info? give me more! and there it is... give me something else also OK! I want to play games YES SIR! Send a message to so and so and I want to tell such and such about this and that...

Immediate gratification that circles around THEM.

So... they take this expectation, automatically into the car... HEY!!!
I"M TRYING TO DRIVE TO WORK! GET OUT OF MY WAY! Or such is the ingrained attitude. Their needs are most important... they are the main person here... there... not us not you or me..

anyway... I had stuff more professionally written but you get the gist

and yes, I, too, have found myself being brainwashed with this terrible ideology that will be the downfall of mankind... truly the ME generation... unless we stop ourselves... and others.

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>

[wisewoman]

room for one more to weigh in? I experienced rage like you are talking about as a prelude to this major depression. It was as though I were possessed or something and it scared me to death. Just something to think about. The rage was so big I couldn't even comprehend it. I am not a rageful person. I hope you get it sorted out and feel better.

[dexter]

We talk about that a lot in my Segway group... how people's attitudes are and the influences and the "me" attitude including feeling they own the road.

People often ridicule the Segway as a lazy way to avoid walking .... when the majority of people use it (including me) not to replace long walks but rather to replace short car trips. I've taken mine to work and often take it to the store or post office where I would not otherwise walk, but would usually drive.

The big thing people notice using the Seg is that it is emotionally a different experience because you are out, you wave at people, you can stop to talk or say hello... as opposed to being in a car, literally in a cocoon of steel, isolated from the world... making it really easy to support that "me" attitude... you can curse or be selfish because you are hidden and protected, similar to the way people are on the internet as you point out. So all we care about is getting our way, and getting it FAST.

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

[LMo]

Hey there Dexter -- I just spent two days with my cousin, who is visiting from St. Louis and who also uses a Segway. I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. He's handicapped -- he uses the Segway instead of a wheelchair, and I cannot tell you how annoying it was when people jumped to the conclusion that it was his alternative to walking (which he cannot easily do).

But that's another story.

We are ALL going to be a-ok!

[dexter]

That's another huge problem that is a result of one of the benefits of a Segway... people who would only have a wheelchair as an alternative can get around without having people look at them and know they are disabled... which is very freeing for their morale but can also backfire like you said.

The funniest thing is that BY FAR the most comments about "laziness" and about "getting fat from laziness" are shouted from people driving SUVs and often (no kidding) driving with a burger king meal in their lap. DUH.

Sorry we are getting off topic with LD here... There is a difference between considering "proper" and "social" behaviour as a group and considering the behaviour of one person and whether that behaviour is "in character" or not.

I hate to sound "mystical" about stuff like this but LD maybe partly this happened to make you look at yourself this way... you could think of it as a higher force bringing something to your attention or else just a smart part of your already smart brain sending a message that there is something that it thinks should be explored.

This is an upsetting incident but in the end may give you a better handle on your depression.

------------------------------------
--http://www.idexter.com

[LadyDragus]

Thank you, so do I..

I am working on it daily with my fiance, untill I can get into my therpist, he does not have any appt's open till mine on the 6th, so I have to write and read, and write and do other things to keep my mind busy till I can do something else..

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[texdave]

Hi Lady, it may be possible that you have had strong feelings of being discounted which you may have been stuffing. This has been a major problem for me in the past, and was the source of a lot of anger and occasional rage. It was a pattern I developed at a young age due to sibling behavior and expectations. Something to think about?

[LadyDragus]

I am not sure, never heard of that before, but I will look into that..

DO you have any info on "stuffing".....

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[Butterfly_Faerie]

That's scary lady dragus,

But when you feel endangered, and your kids too sometimes you will react without thinking, and what happened when you approached her car and yelled at her? What was her reaction, did you feel bad about it, guilty, relieved?

Is this the post you were reffering too when you posted in my anxiety post?

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[LadyDragus]

yes this is the one I was refering to..

I did not feel the least bit guilty when I yelled at her, I felt overpowerd when I did, it all she did was shake her head like she had did nothing wrong... which just fuled my anger towards her..
If I had not seen her won kid in the seat beside her, it could have been bad..

My anger got the bette of me that day, and I hope it never does that again..

It scared me, to a point that i do not want to be scared again like that

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Does this occur often? I can see how it would infuriate you though.

Have you ever thought it would be best to talk to someone if this is occuring more often then it should? Road Rage can be a dangerous thing, you can always see in the news how certain people could react, what if you yelled at the wrong person and got yourself hurt in the process?

You know what I mean, My bf is bad with yelling at cars even though he never got in someones face about it, but he yells in the car all the time and that bothers me.

Hope you are feeling better today.

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[LadyDragus]

no, this is the first time it has ever occourd to me..

I do grip about them cutting me off, but never in my life have I gotten out of my car before ever..

<font color=purple>
take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better