[Humpty Dumpty]

I'm not asking to be happy. In fact I don't want "happiness" I don't like it. However I am tired of always being depressed and suicidal. I'm tired of being stuck in limbo. That space where I'm standing on the edge just 1 step away but too afraid to take that 1. Last. Step. Yet ever time I turn around to walk away I end up right back here. I have done "happy" before. I didnt like it. I wasn't in control of my emotions. Similar to now just on the opposite end of the spectrum. I don't think I am asking for too much. People always say "I want to be happy again." or "Strive for happiness." I want to stop short of that. Either that or get the courage to take that final step.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((( Humpty Dumpty )))))))

Respect and empathy to you

[Humpty Dumpty]

Some would say that this is a real F'd up way of thinking. I don't think it's F'd up at all. It is just a different way if looking at things.

[Humpty Dumpty]

Originally Posted by Wildeve

It's an honest way of looking at things. Absolutely everything we do in life, we do to avoid suffering. From every little movement of our bodies to every big life decision, it's all motivated by the instinct to avoid suffering. So really, contentedness is just a state of minimal suffering. But you're considered a pessimist if you see things that way, even though optimism is as irrational,--and potentially more dangerous,--than pessimism. (And anyway, understanding that life is a meaningless void of nothingness isn't pessimism; it's a completely rational position to take.)

Anyway, yeah, screw happiness. Don't you think it would be great to get a lobotomy? I don't think you can get them anymore. I wouldn't mind being in a semi-zombified state.

A lobotomy seems like a good idea Until you realize if you get that you're just a burden to others at that point you no longer high functioning.

[Sunflower123]

Hoping you get out of limbo and into a state that benefits you.

[Thirty shades]

HumptyDumpty

TBH, I would settle with some mild sadness. I would just like to be free of trauma and pain.

[MickeyCheeky]

A middle ground would probably be more than enough for many, Humpty Dumpty. Unfortunately Depression doesn't allow that. You're certainly not alone in your feelings! Please NEVER give up hope! You ARE IMPORTANT and YOU MATTER! Stay safe! Hopefully things will get better soon for you one way or another! Just treat yourself with kindness! Keep venting if you need that! We're here to listen to you and to support you! WE ALL DO CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! YOU KNOW THAT IS TRUE! YOU KNOW THAT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE! Hang in there! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, Humpty Dumpty!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Thirty shades

HumptyDumpty

TBH, I would settle with some mild sadness. I would just like to be free of trauma and pain.

I’d been thinking of this post and wished I had some wise words.

I could relate to much of your post Humpty Dumpty ...

This wise poster has said it better than I could have done,

Much respect to all