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  #1  
Old Dec 16, 2007, 10:25 PM
turquoisesea's Avatar
turquoisesea turquoisesea is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 9,092
I want to give up... just fade away into nothingness. I don't mean any kind of "death thoughts"... just... to fade... I probably am not making any sense...
or
just to fall into someones arms, hold onto them, and fall asleep in them forever

I'm losing energy to deal so fast... I made myself get out today to a small social event for about 1-2 hours, and nothing was left... I couldn't even muster the strength to agree to set up a rehearsal for our groups concert tomorrow... it's not tiredness physically... its tiredness emotionally. I just hate this... but as I type... again... I just feel nothing...there is nothing behind my words but a dull pain and longing.

I'm leaning towards going to some kind of meeting with a therapist, if I can schedule it in this week, probably on the campus that's a bus ride away to reduce the chance that I'll run into people. I just don't have the energy to explain it to anyone... I hope I can make that call tomorrow... I don't know if it will help but you are all right it's better than not trying.

And thank you so much for all your posts in this... I know... I've just been on a constant rant...
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I want to fade...

Yesterday I was so clever, so I want to change the world.
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.


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  #2  
Old Dec 16, 2007, 10:28 PM
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Cthomas Cthomas is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2007
Location: Chicago
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Dont feel bad. I feel the exact same way today. Dont know what happened. Woke up feeling like crapola and its bleeding into today. all day long.

I guess we need to try to see the positive.

Hope you are doing better
Colleen
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Tomorrow always has the potential to be better than today.

lets pretend its tomorrow...ok?
  #3  
Old Dec 16, 2007, 11:15 PM
SingDanceRunLife SingDanceRunLife is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,848
That's pretty much exactly how I feel right now. I even have a particular person in mind who I want to have hold me. Basically, I'm living a forced life. I force myself to get out of bed, force myself to get ready and go to school. Force myself to go to choir and Fame rehearsals. Force myself to do homework...
  #4  
Old Dec 17, 2007, 04:19 AM
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Kiya Kiya is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: Out of my mind...back in 5 min.
Posts: 10,370
i second the motions
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I want to fade...alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
  #5  
Old Dec 17, 2007, 05:52 AM
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whoever whoever is offline
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Location: west end of east nowhere
Posts: 31
Yeah, what they said!
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~Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you~ Kurt Cobain
  #6  
Old Dec 17, 2007, 12:25 PM
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Cyran0 Cyran0 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,464
Yup, fade out. I hear ya.

Cyran0
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Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse.

Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes


"I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac
  #7  
Old Dec 18, 2007, 10:56 PM
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hoping you are feeling better turqoius!!!
  #8  
Old Dec 19, 2007, 08:21 AM
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justpassingby justpassingby is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: FLORIDA
Posts: 139
Turquoisea,

Just hold on to me and we'll fight this together, I promise not to isolate from you and give you plenty of hugs that I know will make you feel better. I know now why they say it's better to give than to receive, it does help when one person can be there for another and lift ones spirit some. Hang in there.

I want to fade... I want to fade... I want to fade... I want to fade... I want to fade... I want to fade... I want to fade...
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