[SingDanceRunLife]

I've been feeling really bad for the past couple of months. As time has gone on, things haven't gotten better, they've gotten worse.

So much of the time I feel:

- Tired
- Worthless
- Like a failure
- Like I'm trapped in this situation, and I can't make things better
- Sad, and I cry a lot, or am on the verge of crying
- Irritable
- Like I don't even know who I am anymore
- Like a piece of crap

Does it sound like depression to you?

When my mom asked me today when she was trying to get more info about me wanting to try therapy, she asked me if I felt that I'm depressed, and I didn't know how to answer her.

Thanks.

[nowheretorun]

sounds like depression... hope you feel better soon... you are well on your way already...

[blugirl]

Well you described all my symptoms and I was diagnosed with dysthymia years ago. Dysthymia is like walking depression, you can still function, get up every morning and get to work or school but you still feel like crap.

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx14.htm

Talk therapy helps, it is good to get some of that stuff out and you actually feel like someone is listening to you. Once you are in therapy you can discuss whether you want to try anti depressants.

I hope you feel better and get some help. Feeling like this really does suck.

[sassypants]

I have to agree with the other people that have posted.


I hope you can get some help soon.

[SingDanceRunLife]

I don't think it could be dysthymia because I haven't had symptoms for long enough. But thanks for the suggestion.

Hopefully my mom will make some calls tomorrow or something.

[SingDanceRunLife]

Gah! I'm so overwhelmed by everything I have to do! I want to stay in bed tomorrow and not do anything, but I know that I can't do that.

[nowheretorun]

hang in there Sing... i get in a rut too.. just choose one thing that needs to be done, maybe the motion itself will give you momentum, if not, hey, at least you got one thing done...

sending good wishes

[SingDanceRunLife]

Tonight's "To Do" List:

- Study guide for US History
- Write paragraph for US History
- Send email out for Afro/Latino Club
- Summarize English notes
- Start working on music for Fame
- The million dishes sitting in the sink

Gah!

If I didn't have a math test tomorrow, I would stay home from school...But I don't want to have to make that up.

[nowheretorun]

cramming??? ugh!! its for real a lot of pressure... rest, organize, eat .... play some ... try not to worry... just do your best... not better than everyone else.... unless it turns out that way

[SingDanceRunLife]

I'm just going to try and get it all done whether it's good or not. I gave up on quality a long time ago...

[SingDanceRunLife]

Yeah...So I'm feeling really down right now.

There's not really a reason for it. I mean, I've got a lot of stuff to do, and no motivation to do it, and there were some things today that weren't so great...

But still.

It sucks.

[Perna]

Okay, what do you need for the history, just got my second degree in history and I specialize in US :-)

[nowheretorun]

well, take a break from all the "stuff" ... just do something you enjoy for a bit... eat some cake... or yogurt?

just be careful not to spill on the papers....

[SingDanceRunLife]

Perna - For the history I need to answer the rest of the questions on the study guide on the causes of/Civil War (easy stuff that I know, I just have to do it), and write a paragraph for a group essay (my paragraph is about the draft for the Civil War and how it shows a strong federal government).

nowheretorun - I have been taking a break...I did my English homework which took forever because of how blah I'm feeling, and I've been listening to music and just chilling for about 45 minutes now. I basically live off my music because it's the one way I know how to escape whenever I want to. Sometimes when I'm listening, I get so absorbed in it that for awhile, I forget that I even have it on!

[Perna]

http://www.etymonline.com/cw/draft.htm :-)

[SingDanceRunLife]

Thanks.

That makes doing the paragraph a lot easier. I mean, there's still the whole making myself do it, but now I have a whole wealth of information to use, and all in one place.

[Perna]

Make it "fun"; get into doing it for yourself and your curiosity and it will go faster and be easier.

[Perna]

I had to do a rewrite of a paper for the THIRD time and I was pretty bummed so I decided to do the whole rewrite in verse :-) Took me over 10 hours (weekend/Saturday) but was really challenging and I certainly didn't forget what I had to learn for the test :-) I got the 5 extra credit points for "creativity" too :-)

[SingDanceRunLife]

I'm going to make myself do it tomorrow morning during my free period. And I'll do my study guide during lunch.

I couldn't make myself do work tonight. It just wasn't working out for me...

[SingDanceRunLife]

I got my work done...It was all a bunch of BS, but, oh well.

That made things better for me, but just a couple minutes ago, I checked my email...

I can't go to youth group on Sunday. I really wanted to go because there wasn't any last week, isn't really next week, and I need to talk to some people...But the directors for Fame won't let me leave rehearsal early.

Now I feel like crap.

[_Hope_]

It is good that you are getting things done, From my experience I have found fighting depression is better than giving in to it. I realize it is not the same but if you need to talk there is alway chat, or feel free to pm .

Linda

[Perna]

Can you call or e-mail the people you want to talk to, meet them sometime/somewhere else (after church) or call the youth group leader and see if they can move youth group to a slightly later (1/2 hour) time this week so you could get to some of it? You could volunteer to call most of the members to tell them and see if it would be okay with them?

Most schoolwork is BS because it's "practice". Just going through the motions primes you to being able to go through the correct motions quicker and easier. You know how you got arithmetic questions wrong even after you learned to do them but the more of them you did the more accurate you got doing them? Reading, researching, and writing stuff is like that. The only way to get better at writing is to write so they make you write; what you say isn't all that important, can be "formula" stuff as long as you get the practice. Throw in a new word every now and then and look up a word in your reading and your vocabulary grows :-)

[SingDanceRunLife]

Even if youth group were a half hour later, I still wouldn't be able to make it. It would have to be an entire hour later, and that would mess with everyone's schedules, plus, it would be pretty late (7-9 since it's already 6-8). So, I don't think that's at all possible.

Oh, and what I meant by my work being BS was that I totally made crap up and wrote it down because I really just needed it to be done. With my paragraph for US History, we're not really going to be graded on the writing, we'll be graded on the content (that's just how history is).

[SingDanceRunLife]

Rehearsal was canceled today due to the possibility of really bad weather (it didn't actually happen, at least not where I live)! So, I got to go to youth group!

It was pretty good. I just wasn't at all happy during the 15-20 minutes we were talking about Christmas and some other stuff having to do with Christianity. I got really emotional, so I had to focus on not crying. I sat there, stared at the floor, and tried to ignore the talking.

And to make my emotional state worse, my mom just told me that the youth minister from my church and 3 of the middle schoolers got in a car accident today on the way home from a conference thing they were at this weekend. The car was totaled, minister has a broken rib, one kid has a broken tooth, one kid has a cut on his leg or something, and the other is just fine. My sister was supposed to be in that car...Thank God she wasn't.

I have a headache. I kind of want to go to bed, but it's way too early.

Maybe I should do my homework.

[turquoisesea]

at least doing your homework would keep you busy

and at least no one got seriously hurt... a broken rib can mend you know?