[Fuzzybear]

i've written out this long (boring) post and now i feel like deleting it :-(
maybe i ''should'' learn not to write long and boring posts in the first place :-(

i'm feeling sensitive and ……. :-( (Thud)

It's not easy to write a long post and put it out there. I know i'm not alone in feeling that, that's something....

I wonder why some people are so arrogant and so sure they are always right? maybe I attract people like that into my life who then reject me? the paternal unit is an extreme ''case'' of that so maybe i'm ''doomed'' I really don't get it. and I don't know why so many people have treated me as if I was ''less than'' because of a mental health issue which was never my ''choice''

It is very very tiring and very boring

sometimes i'm surprised when someone appreciates my wisdom (their word not mine) who I don't know very well as I've been told by so many I am ''worthless''

I was thinking of hibernating completely but maybe that isn't healthy for me :-(

this is not not not because anyone here has done anything ''wrong''

its always me who is wrong, everywhere I go (except for here) people tell me that i'm wrong (thud)

i'm sorry about this boring and negative post (thud)

I guess if people think bearing our soul isn't cool then i'm not cool, I don't really care if i'm cool or not...

my mood was a bit improved for a short while. but then... thud

I feel like deleting this post. but if it helps even one person who is also struggling then I guess it isn't completely wasted.

I have to say i'm not really a fan of ''fake positivity'' (that is just my preference and no insult to anyone who finds positive thinking helpful. I do sometimes but not all the time... find it to be of some help

really fuzzy bear who wants to read your ''boring'' rant

(someone on another forum, not pc, …. ugh. why do those oh so superior people bother me? they are NOT superior. they are simply lacking in empathy Its quite funny really in a sick way. my words were picked apart and when I didn't use words that was picked apart too
I haven't been back there. but as that was what they wanted in a sense they have ''won'' :-( and I have no idea why they were so mean … I guess I wasn't a typical new member so the bullies banded together to make me feel like I didn't fit in. its true, I don't fit into a mean and bullying environment.
(not about anyone on pc)

[stefano]

It was not boring.
I don't know you in person, but all this "I don't this I don't that" sounds like depression telling you lies. Please don't listen ot it. Please.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

It's funny. I was just thinking about how hard it is to post, even in this very safe space.

It doesn't come naturally to me to put myself out there.

I appreciate and admire the enormous help you continue to give, so freely, and without needing anything in return.

It's for exactly (some of) the reasons you describe that I'm reticent, especially that terrible crash in mood... And the way the pain links up and sort of holds hands with all the other pain in the past...

Suddenly, we feel completely outnumbered. In a minority of one. Alone.

Your posts are never, never, never, never, never boring


Sorry, I didn't mean to put words in your mouth.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by stefano

It was not boring.
I don't know you in person, but all this "I don't this I don't that" sounds like depression telling you lies. Please don't listen ot it. Please.

thank you Stefano

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

It's funny. I was just thinking about how hard it is to post, even in this very safe space.

It doesn't come naturally to me to put myself out there.

I appreciate and admire the enormous help you continue to give, so freely, and without needing anything in return.

It's for exactly (some of) the reasons you describe that I'm reticent, especially that terrible crash in mood... And the way the pain links up and sort of holds hands with all the other pain in the past...

Suddenly, we feel completely outnumbered. In a minority of one. Alone.

Your posts are never, never, never, never, never boring


Sorry, I didn't mean to put words in your mouth.

Thank you purple, you put it very well. that terrible crash in mood.
the pain linking up with pain in the past
completely outnumbered
a minority
of one

It's people like you that make pc and the world a better place

[Breaking Dawn]

Love you lots Fuzzybear!! Those bad people are stupid!! Lots of hugs to you with love!!

[Thirty shades]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

It's funny. I was just thinking about how hard it is to post, even in this very safe space.

It doesn't come naturally to me to put myself out there.

I appreciate and admire the enormous help you continue to give, so freely, and without needing anything in return.

It's for exactly (some of) the reasons you describe that I'm reticent, especially that terrible crash in mood... And the way the pain links up and sort of holds hands with all the other pain in the past...

Suddenly, we feel completely outnumbered. In a minority of one. Alone.

Your posts are never, never, never, never, never boring


Sorry, I didn't mean to put words in your mouth.

I too appreciate you dear Fuzzybear. Your support and empathy are true.
Some are blind to the true bear you are and have learnt a defense response to us to preserve their own faulty ego's. Grrrr Ugh

Our pain is always there, sometimes silent, waiting to erupt within and cause us to crash.

We are blamed for our snakes noise but they have learnt to try and protect us. We are not negative, we are dealing with trauma...

Purple thank you for posting. We feel alone when it reality there are many who are suffering too

Thank you and hugs to all who need them

[Yzen]

I feel like these forums are as close as we can find as a safe place to post how we feel. It is still difficult because we feel we might be judged in some way. I have trouble writing more than a few lines because of that.

I appreciate everyone that posts and Fuzzybear, I appreciate all your words...every single one.

[Rohag]

((((((( )))))))
((((((( Fuzzbyear )))))))

Of the many legitimate questions you raise, this seems to be among the most important:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

why do those oh so superior people bother me?

One would hope that accurately answering that question (the possibility of getting to the correct answer to the question is a different matter) would at least diminish "their" capacity to bother you. The real world, however, is far more complex than logic. My experience is knowing and insight are not always practical.

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I don't fit into a mean and bullying environment.

Nor do I.

[Lilly2]

Fuzzybear, I love your posts! You are not boring at all. You help me to learn how to express my emotions deep inside.

I am sorry you struggle with mean people.

(((safe hugs)))

[howrer]

I don't think your positivity is fake - it has a great deal of impact on others in PC. Although it's hard to see it online, but I think the people typing out the posts really felt happy and relieved to see you help them out.

You are worth love and care - it might not be from those people whom you mentioned, but I saw many people in PC willing to share smiles with you.

I can show you a long and boring post:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

(forgive me for the spam but I hope it helps you feel better)

[Sunflower123]

[TunedOut]

Your inner being wants something that the people around you are resisting. I think we both came to PC because we are searching for answers. Do whatever makes you feel good. Politely retreat from people who don't make you feel good--don't ever believe others "less than" messages. You deserve to be happy. You are a good person so the things that make you feel good make the world a positive place. Never apologize for being you. You are here for a reason. You are perfect the way you are. This video may seem strange but it does resonate with me:

Abraham Hicks 2019 ~ You can't serve two masters, pick one and let it be your inner being