[yakmom]

I am so sad. I pray about this and ask God to fix my brain. 10 years of MDD, Panic d/o and some more stuff.

I have bad dreams. Not dreams that are nightmares. Just like I'm searching for my car and can never find it. Last night I dreamed about my mother who has been dead almost 35 years. She was letting me know she had a new mattress and it slept really good. After that I was back in high school at my current age and I couldn't understand why.

All this makes me anxious and sad. I live over 100 miles from my grandchildren and have to make appointments to see them 9,7 and almost 2. I know people's lives are busy, but seriously. My husband and I have to get a motel b/c they don't have the room. Even me when I'm alone and I've slept on their couch many times when they only had 2 children. I can only stay a few hours b/c I don't drive well at night.

When I was there last my grandson 9, told me I could move in with them. They miss me. I miss them. I explained that I lived and worked somewhere else but I would like to see them more. I told my son yesterday that I was troubled b/c they knew the church people better than they know me. Especially the baby. He hasn't seen me enough to even let me hold him or play with him very much.

I am just so, so sad and not much to do about it.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Yak

[Mopey]

Life is really really hard sometimes....

Have you and your husband considered moving closer to them?

[winter4me]

It is at least a happy thought that your grandkids know and love and miss you. Any chance of skyping/the like or phone calls/face time-----or them coming to your place? It's OK to feel sad (I know I miss my grandson now that I don't live as close...but it is great when I see him)...they grow fast. (maybe they would like a couple of nights in a motel with you, give mom and dad a break? (or give mom and dad a date-overnight...? once a year or so, one with a pool --- or camping trip?... place to meet in the middle and do things as a family? …..exchange cards/photos...sorry I am babbling
Have a good cry and remember their smiles.

[yakmom]

Originally Posted by Mopey

Life is really really hard sometimes....

Have you and your husband considered moving closer to them?

No, our home is here. Paid for and everything. My job is here and I am 4 years from retirement.
Thank you for the comment. I only wish it could be.

[yakmom]

There parents don't let them overnight with anyone yet. We used to Skype quite often, but we don't do that anymore. ?? Reason. I do send cards. Each child will get a Valentine's Day card with a few $$ and their Mom and Dad will get a card together. It's not just us, it's the other grandparents also. My DILs mom says "they just keep them so isolated" when I was talking about how the little one won't let me hold him. Of course he can walk now, so holding is out of the question.

[Mopey]

I totally understand. That's our situation as well.

Winter4me had some good alternative thoughts, though. Regarding skyping or face time, maybe you could arrange a regular time each week.

[Fuzzybear]

[Reyina]

I understand you very well. I live in depression since I was 10 and I live with my parents,grandmother and mom's brother and he is an alcoholic. When we moved to them,my parents paid housing debt,bought some necessary equipment. And now,when grandmother is ill and she afraid to go outside,we care about she,we buy her all medicines, products, pay for an apartment and one day she told us she said that we are terrible people and she hates us. But if we will move in another apartments and leave her alone, she will soon die. She constantly finds fault with me and it's unbearable...