[nikon]

Hey. I post here very seldom but read quite often. Unfortunately I've been rubbish at posting support for anyone.

Before xmas I had a down patch, then over xmas and New year I felt a lot better, and over the past couple of weeks I'm feeling a bit worse again. One of the main factors is tiredness. A lot of the time I'm so tired, the only thing I can think about is how tired I am and how I want to close my eyes. I've had a few different blood tests and everything is normal, I'm trying to eat healthier and eat more protein, but I think it's a combination of physical and emotional tiredness, because my job is very active.

Today some keys got stolen out of my vehicle and that was like a blow of exhaustion and depression. I meant to go out today and look around the neighbourhood in case whoever took the keys tossed them when they realised they weren't for any house in the area, but instead I fell asleep on the floor. Sleeping on the floor is a red flag for me. Day to day I haven't been feeling so depressed - no constant suicidal thoughts - but small triggers just exhaust me and make me want to end it. I'm in contact with my dr about the tiredness in case it's my meds.

I feel like I haven't got many people to talk to. I see a therapist but my friends are actually more of a source of stress right now. I've definitely had worse in terms of depression but today I just feel finished. I keep emotionally shutting down. It's like I just can't do it any more.

[Yaowen]

Hi Nikon,

So sorry you are struggling with this ordeal. Must be scary and demoralizing to have that kind of tiredness!

Do you think it might be helpful to seek a second medical opinion about what you are suffering? Sometimes a different physician can find things that the first one missed.

I'm very sorry I don't have anything better to offer.

On a personal note, I used to be extremely tired while on a certain antidepressant medication. A switch in medications solved the problem for me. Please don't think I am offering you advice here. I'm not qualified to give advice. Just sharing my story with you. I sure hope you find relief!

[nikon]

Hi Yaowen
Thanks for your support. It could be my medication but I've been on that medication for about five years, I think. I would love to be able to go to a dr and get everything checked out but financially it's impossible. My psychiatrist did some bloods and then a relative who's a dr got a few more done (so I didn't have to pay to see a dr) and they were all fine. If I see a dr again it'll be the cost of the dr and probably a whole lot more blood tests. The medical insurance I've got only pays if you are admitted to hospital.

I don't really know what I can do to find relief, but just go on doing whatever I'm doing and ignore things. Like, I just want to sleep, I want to be able to switch off for however long I need and want. I'm doing the therapy, taking meds, eating healthily, exercising, meditating, going to support groups.... what more can I do? Just tired. (Ranting not directed at anyone here, just done...)

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by nikon

Hey. I post here very seldom but read quite often. Unfortunately I've been rubbish at posting support for anyone.

Before xmas I had a down patch, then over xmas and New year I felt a lot better, and over the past couple of weeks I'm feeling a bit worse again. One of the main factors is tiredness. A lot of the time I'm so tired, the only thing I can think about is how tired I am and how I want to close my eyes. I've had a few different blood tests and everything is normal, I'm trying to eat healthier and eat more protein, but I think it's a combination of physical and emotional tiredness, because my job is very active.

Today some keys got stolen out of my vehicle and that was like a blow of exhaustion and depression. I meant to go out today and look around the neighbourhood in case whoever took the keys tossed them when they realised they weren't for any house in the area, but instead I fell asleep on the floor. Sleeping on the floor is a red flag for me. Day to day I haven't been feeling so depressed - no constant suicidal thoughts - but small triggers just exhaust me and make me want to end it. I'm in contact with my dr about the tiredness in case it's my meds.

I feel like I haven't got many people to talk to. I see a therapist but my friends are actually more of a source of stress right now. I've definitely had worse in terms of depression but today I just feel finished. I keep emotionally shutting down. It's like I just can't do it any more.

So sorry you are dealing with all this. The fatigue can be overwhelming at times.

There are effective medications for what I personally term Central Fatigue of Depression. A few of them, actually. Have you brough this up with your pdoc? You really should. You deserve to have a little energy during the day--depression is hard enough as it is.

Hang in there. Sending you support!!!!

I say hang tight too. Excessive tiredness is not something I have experienced in a long time. when I over work my body, my first response is to eat, cheer up and get going, but sleeping is really the only thing that makes me feel better. hopefully, I do not oversleep again next week bc I almost missed a newly scheduled appointment and am trying to shift things to adjust for other people all the time but never do a good job of that. probably what is best for me is thinking about me and hanging in there until things pick up.

also, there are activities I like to revisit when I am not feeling great that uplift my mood a bit. favorite songs and memories, painting my nails, putting on makeup, creating a todo list and starting on a creative project I have been putting off. when I have excess energy after gaining sleep, going on a good run or swim really helps. doing a loud or unconstricted activity like a set of push ups feels good too. I like to surround myself with good thoughts and activities I know I can master easily. sleep being one of them.

[nikon]

Thanks bpcyclist and Ann for the support and suggestions.
I have contacted my psychiatrist about the tiredness again, so I'll see what he says. It's a bit weird.... I've often been tired just from being busy, but on and off I've had periods of extreme tiredness that almost make me feel sick, and I think this is one of those. Frustratingly, I don't sleep well, wake up multiple times a night and struggle to sleep late when I've got the chance. Sleeping late for me is getting up at 8am.

I'm trying to get myself going on doing some art which I haven't done for a while which hopefully will be a bit fulfilling.

[Fuzzybear]

[nikon]

Hey people. I'm just posting here again because I don't know who to talk to. I have a couple of friends who struggle with severe mental illness, and sometimes they are oblivious of how their venting affects me. I am angry about it but I don't know if it's due to them being inconsiderate or whether they are incapable of empathy/something right now in a bad state of mind. Like describing graphic ways of hurting themselves and suicide - and I don't have the mental or emotional energy to help, or even listen.

I'm in a bad financial situation at the moment and constantly worried about that. This afternoon I just lay on the floor and fell asleep and was really hungry but couldn't force myself to get up and make food. My therapist is very helpful but in between sessions I don't have anyone to talk to regularly. I am so ******* exhausted all the time, and in the early hours of this morning I woke up, and then got so anxious about how terrible I'd feel if I couldn't go back to sleep, that I struggled to sleep for the rest of the night. I've also run out of one of my meds but have no motivation to go and sort it out, which I know is stupid. I don't have that urgent need for self destruction right now but more like this nagging feeling that's manifesting in apathy. Like, it's too much effort to make food, can't I just ignore it and do nothing? It's too difficult to have all the interactions etc to get more meds - can't I just zone out and ignore it? I know neither of those is sensible. Somehow I feel like I wish someone would take care of me, like a parent, but not my parents.

Sorry that your friends are contemplating hurting themselves. Have you had time to tell them how that would effect you? Maybe try letting them know they are important to you. I'm glad to hear that you are not in a self-destructive way right now. When I am fearful or anxious, I find it difficult to get things done effectively which can lead to depressive and uncomfortable feelings. Is there something nice you can do for yourself? Maybe write down a few positive affirmations. Help yourself motivate yourself to get what you need?

[Sunflower123]

Can you take baby steps in caring for these issues? I understand the apathy. I struggle with that myself. At those times...I set a time and tell myself that at that time I’ll take one small step towards my goal whether it’s feeding myself or sorting out medication.

Thinking of you and sending hugs and supportive vibes.

[nikon]

Thanks Jennifer and Ann.

I have sorted out my meds this morning, fortunately.

With my friend, they are kind of oblivious to how they affect others. If I said how harming themselves would upset me, they would probably see that as another way to justify harming themselves, because it means they're "bad" or a burden or something. I mean, I don't think there is any way of interacting with them right now that is good for me. I don't have the emotional resilience just to listen as a supportive friend, because that kind of talk is pretty triggering and pretty much what I think about when I am very depressed. The only immediate way I could "help" would be to phone an ambulance when they tell me all of this stuff, but they wouldn't see that as helpful, and previously they have reacted very badly when friends have made them go to hospital when they've been suicidal.