[HD7970GHZ]

Hi everyone,

I am in the worst place I have ever been in my entire life.

I need to find a job within the next two months, or I will be selling things and in desperation mode.

But I am also dealing with immense trauma without the support that I need to heal..

It is devastating.

I am thinking of suicide ALOT lately, and I cannot describe how painful it is to be alive, but I wanted to ask the community for suggestions about what I can do to move forward.

I am spending my days curled up with my teddy bears under blankies. It is super comforting and helps me to heal from ptsd, but I don't exactly know what to do to move forward anymore. It is like I am stuck in perpetual trauma and I continue to attract abusers into my life and every therapist I see manages to make my life a living hell.

What do I do?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[here today]

Is applying for disability a possibility? How about just selling it all and becoming a Buddhist monastic? Radical ideas, I know, not really serious, just kind of to shake things up. Wish I had a serious answer I thought might help.

[MickeyCheeky]

I agree with @here today about Applying for Disability if you can. I am so sorry for what you're going through! I hope things will improve soon for You! Please keep us updated and keep applying for as many jobs as you can! Are there any social services that may help You find something? Even something simple, at least to start getting some money. Don't Lose Hope! I am sure You can do it because You're strong! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @HD7970GHZ, Your Family, Your Friends, Your Doctors, Your Pdoc, Your Therapist, Your Nurses and ALL of Your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[Fuzzybear]

I wish I had a suggestion aside from what the two wise posters above wrote. I don't though. I'm sending hugs (and a hug from a tatty teddy by my computer

[T4bbyCat]

Originally Posted by here today

Is applying for disability a possibility? How about just selling it all and becoming a Buddhist monastic? Radical ideas, I know, not really serious, just kind of to shake things up. Wish I had a serious answer I thought might help.

I would second applying for disability (SSD, assuming USA). This support system is supposed to be there for you if you have no other options.

Unfortunately, it takes some effort (and/or help) to convince the government, but I've heard only good things from those on it (i.e., the funds help to bootstrap yourself out of the pit).

The Buddhist thing is also not too far-fetched... maybe not becoming a monk per se, but rather finding some other calling in life to provide meaning and break out of the prison. Of course, easier said than done when in the prison...