Having a hard time

Tonight I feel very depressed. I've been upset over a couple of things. One, lack of family support and two, my desktop broke on me. There's nothing I can do about family. But there's stuff I can do about my computer. It's under warranty. I just feel bad because I think it's my fault. I vape. I think the vape has gotten into the electronics. I was vaping in the kitchen cause I didn't want to vape around it. But I think the vape got to it anyway. I'm on a laptop at the moment. Now I'm vaping in the bedroom. I wish I could quit vaping all together. But it's extremely difficult. I just keep beating myself up and feeling worthless. Just looking for a supporting friend and a hug. Thanks!

I honestly don’t think it was your vaping. You did good when it broke. You talked to Dell and have a tech coming out. You need to pat yourself on the back. Well done. Coming from a friend...you’re a very special person. Far from worthless. Please be compassionate with yourself. You deserve it. Sending hugs and supportive vibes.

Quitting would be helpful. You sound like you want to but something stops you. I think it could be fear, shame, anger, frustration, and overall feeling bad. What do you think?

You feel guilty that your computer broke. But you also wrote that there is a fix for that. It seems like you feel stress around your family. I don't know your situation, but I know relationships are hard. And when we have depression, things can get out of hand quick.

I hope you find what you are looking for

Thank you! I feel a little better this morning. But the whole computer thing is weighing on me heavily. I have to wait on a tech to contact me about coming out to my home to make the fix. If that will even fix it. I'm just afraid I will need a whole new system.

Yes, being depressed and stressed about family makes things feel worse. I think today I will try to distract myself with games and books. Maybe some TV/movies.

And I think it is fear that prevents me from quitting vaping. I've tried in the past and I become very depressed. I don't want to go through that again. I've read that we need something to replace a habit if we want to change it. I've bought a few things to help with that. I guess I'm just waiting for the right time to try to quit again.

Please don't blame yourself! Please try to be in the here and now, let it pass and try to take the days as they come. It can also be an idea to do relaxation exercixes.

Thinking on you!

Deilla, I'm sorry all of this is happening to you. It's never good when your computer breaks.

But I had a thought about the vaping. I have no idea whether that could affect your computer or not, tho they used to tell us that getting water on it or in it would cause it to malfunction at least until everything dried.

But if you want to know, ask your computer. That's something I do all the time: just go to your browser and ask something like: "Can vapor from my E-Cigarette affect my computer?" It'll probably tell you a lot of stuff.

Many hugs ...