[Idontfeelenough]

The thought of the people who I know love me, my future, and all the things that therapist and counselors tell you to think about when considering ending your life aren't enough to make me want to stay anymore. What do I do now? I've sought help, I've talked to the people who I consider to be closest to me, I feel so alone, I'm so tired of fighting this pain. Even my boyfriend who I also consider to be my best friend seems to not want anything to do with me anymore, despite what he says...his actions don't back it up. I thought I was better, healed, on my way to discovering myself, loving myself, but right now I feel like i'm back at square one. Depression is my demon, and I'm tired of fighting it. Is anyone out there? Can anyone hear me? Hear my pain? Relate? I need hope, I need motivation for me to keep going. Advice? Anything.

[Hi IM Dan]

One interaction with someone is all that's needed to change the world for the better for that one person, for all you know it could be you. Your smile, the time when you say hello how are you, it could be anything...

What about your future family, did you want to have kids one day? The depression you battle, for your kids it could be a tough class in school, or a bully, or a tough job, it could be depression too. But youll pass down those genes or traits, you can relate with them knowing you didn't give up, you fought for your future for your family and most of all yourself, because at the end of the day there probably isn't anyone else that will do it for you.

Talk to us here browse some of the other topics, maybe answering and helping someone else will help you.

[Artistic1]

Hi there,

I suffer from depression too and anxiety right now hi, I’m sitting on my front porch watching the wind blow through the trees and seeing the blue sky and birds fly by. . It helps me. I’m also listening to encouraging affirmations you can find on YouTube or make a couple of your own for free on an app called ThinkUp you can listen to your own voice saying the affirmations you choose on loop to uplifting music. And breathing the fresh air is nice especially with the wind outside. I think it’s beautiful that you’ve given yourself a chance by coming here and posting for help. Hope this helps you, here to help

[Fuzzybear]

[Skeezyks]

Hello Idontfeelenough: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I see this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I've made two serious (but obviously unsuccessful) attempts of my own previously. So I think I have at least some small inkling of what you're dealing with.

I wish there were some words of wisdom I could offer... something new & inspiring you haven't heard before. Unfortunately I don't think I have any. However here are links to 5 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of at least some small help. The first 2 are by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D.:

Suicidal? Don't Throw Away Your Shot

Suicidal? What Van Gogh's Life Can Teach You

Words of Hope for Anyone Struggling with Depression

How Suicidal Thoughts Can Become a Coping Mechanism

How to Survive Suicidal Thoughts

And then, since you mentioned depression is your demon, I thought I would also draw your attention to this Psych-Central-supported website for people with unrelenting depression & anxiety:

https://community.projecthopeandbeyond.com/

Please take care. I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

[DubiousEndeavor]

Originally Posted by Idontfeelenough

I thought I was better, healed, on my way to discovering myself, loving myself, but right now I feel like i'm back at square one. Depression is my demon, and I'm tired of fighting it. Is anyone out there? Can anyone hear me? Hear my pain? Relate? I need hope, I need motivation for me to keep going. Advice? Anything.

Hi - I can hear you and I do feel the hurt as I am reading your words. I also feel hopeful because you have made it here and you are sharing your fight. I don't think I should try to give you advice, but I do hear you. I can share my own experience.
My depression demon is weak. When I am low, I know that it does feel hopeless in that moment, but I also know that even though it seems unlikely, at some point in the future I will feel a little better, and when I look back it may even be difficult to remember why I was so low.
My depression demon is persistent. When I feel better, I know that the low spot seems distant and past, but I also know that at some point in the future I may feel bad again and that I will need to remind myself that it will pass.
I do hear your pain and I hope that you can find hope here.

[iStillHaveHope1177]

Sorry to hear that you're not feeling okay. I've been feeling that way as well lately. I hope you know that you're not alone. At the end of the day, there's always someone there for you, no matter how alone you feel. It's cliche but it is a good reminder. I sympathize with you in fighting the depression. It's good that you are trying to overcome it. I don't know how you're fighting depression, but personally I do too much in general. Sometimes I feel like I try to keep myself busy, and maybe I'm not dealing with my pain enough. One thing that I've learned for sure is that doing too much can result in something unwanted at times. There have been times where I've tried so hard to overcome my pain in depression that I ended up "ignoring" my underlying feelings and breaking down at some point. It's good to try and stay positive, but I've learned that every now and then (I'm not putting a time limit on it) it's okay to just be. Just be. Sit down or lay down and let my thoughts pass, and even pray. I've found that some of the times where I've just sat down and let my thoughts pass were times where I ended up having a cry or a solution coming up unexpectedly, or even feeling a little better. Someone that I follow on YouTube mentioned a few times that depression is basically getting "deep-ressed" (depressed pun). Hearing that has helped me to cope a little better. If I feel very broken then maybe I just need to recuperate or think a few things over or let the thoughts pass. Music helps too. Listening to motivating songs or songs that reflect how you feel. I hope that you're feeling a little better, and I don't know if any of this helps, but I hope you find peace anyhow.

[Idontfeelenough]

Thank you so much, it helps knowing that there are people out there who are struggling with the same things I am. It makes me feel less alone. For the time being I'm here, I'm present. Today I feel a little better, not so alone, this forum has helped. Everyone on here is struggling or has struggled and knows what it's like to be in a dark place, and is willing to share what works for them. I think that's beautiful.

[Idontfeelenough]

Thank you to everyone who took time out of their day to give me advice, hope, peace of mind...wow. All of your kind words definitely make me feel less alone, and it's definitely given me a level hope that I didn't have. Today I am doing a little better. You all are honestly to kind.