Do I potentially have depression? Idk if what I am experiencing is depression or some

So, I have just been feeling really down lately. A lot worse than usual.

I always feel hopeless and like everything I do is pointless. These feelings way me down to the point of making my arms feel heavy. I feel like I want to do things but everything is so pointless that I just don't. This makes me avoid schoolwork (especially since there is online school now), and I am behind on my classes. I never do basic things like shower more than once every few days because I just feel like everything is pointless. I will always be a failure no matter what, so what's the point of even trying anymore? I fail almost everytime I try to make good habits and become a better person, so I find it pointless to continue trying. I feel like there is no hope for me and that I will always be a loser.

I get really annoyed and angry very quickly. I get so angry that sometimes I like scratch my neck out of habit as a way to release the anger. It's not necessarily unwarranted anger but just excessive anger. Like, not getting 3 stars on a game is something that is fine to get frustrated about, but if you get so angry to the point of wanting to cry over it or throw your phone, then it's a bit over the top. This is just an example though, don't think I am a petty person with petty issues because of this. It's not necessarily the game/losing out on rewards that makes me angry, but the feeling of being a failure for not getting a perfect 3 stars. This applies to pretty much everything else in my life.

I also avoid reality a lot. Part of the reason I don't do things like schoolwork as much is because it requires me to think more than just like watching youtube. Everytime I do things that require thinking, I start thinking about how much of a loser/failure I am. A lot of the time I even think these thoughts while doing things like watching YouTube, but I try to push them away to avoid feeling sad. I spend a lot of time avoiding emotions and avoiding facing past trauma.

Overall, I just feel sad almost constantly. The only way I can avoid feeling this way is by watching youtube or doing other mindless things, but even then I can still accidentally start thinking about things that make me sad. I feel like life has no purpose and that there is no hope for me. That I will always be a failure. I always feel like I am being a disapointment. I also feel like I can't talk to my parents either. My dad would probably think I was being weak and my mom thinks that people choose whether or not they're happy. Not that my mom is necessarily wrong, but she fails to realize that people react to things differently and that it's hard to be happy when you feel there is nothing to be happy about.

Have you thought about seeing a therapist?

I can relate with your last paragraph very well, I have a large family and was born to be their loser.

For me whatever changes you started to make or started to happen stop them, whether its staying in your room all the time now, not going out, not speaking to friends, try to hold on to things that wouldn't allow you to stay depressed, this of course with in reason use your own judgement and maybe bounce ideas off us or a therapist, im no expert Im sure someone else here can guide you a bit better.

But your not alone, Im Dan nice to meet you.

You might have clinical depression, however only a psychiatrist can say for sure. If you have a GP you can request a referral to see a psychiatrist. Do you have health insurance? How good is the coverage for mental health issues? Sorry if this is a bit of a cop-out, but when it comes to diagnoses it's impossible for us to tell as we're not doctors and even if we were you can't be diagnosed over the internet. The thing I can say is that about your family, many other people have a lot of misconceptions and/or ignorant beliefs about mental health. It is certainly not a weakness or a character defect, and it's definitely not a choice. It's a medical condition that requires medical treatment to resolve. A lot of people have misconceptions and/or ignorant beliefs about mental health that they would never have about other medical conditions, like cancer or asthma. If people in your life aren't as supportive then you may have to reach out to find people who are, and there are definitely others who will be supportive in the world, not everyone though.

Thanks. I haven't thought about seeing a therapist because I am not very comfortable sharing how I feel with my parents and that is currently the only way I could get one.

Thanks for the help. I just wanted to see if there was any possibility of me having it, so thanks. Sadly I do not currently have health insurance. I will definitely try to find more supportive people.

Hi alexro7. Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry to hear you are facing challenges. In some ways we all are due to this virus isolation, but people who already face difficulties may feel this more intensely. These may not give you a diagnosis but they suggest a cope with what you are pretty sure you are suffering from.

Depression Test - Do You Have Depression?

if you like this video check out these others by same person YouTube



I find when I am feeling like life looks kind of dark that exercises like this help me

Also a high carb diet tends to make my mood swings more frequent. So for me having a healthy, low carb diet with some kind of protein in every meal or snack, even if smaller every 3-4 hours. I read the brain needs protein so that could be why.

Some people find writing in a journal helps them. If they are afraid others will discover it and read it, I have heard they send emails to themselves.

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Welcome @alexro7. As @3rd rock said, we can't diagnose you with anything. Do you mind saying how old you are? When you talked about school and your parents, I got the impression that you were under 18. If that is the case, you should qualify for Medicaid if your parents can't afford insurance. Unfortunately, as a minor you would probably need to talk to your parents in order to get treatment.

I am currently 14. I definitely do understand that you can't diagnose me with anything, I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't blowing things out of proportion or being dramatic. I do realize that I'd have to talk to my parents about how I feel to get help, I just do not feel comfortable with telling people how I feel currently. However, I'll probably have to do so soon because I am only getting worse as time passes.