[puzzclar]

Last one is over 100 pages. Here's the new one

An alright kind of day today. Did the laundry in the early morning. Talked to my sister around 10:30 and then went for a bike ride in the afternoon. Nothing too special to report about happening to me today.

[3rd rock]

I'm making good progress on my current project. I'm working at a steady pace, and will be ready to release this book no later than the end of June. However, I'm experiencing a lot of pain at regular intervals, which results in periods where it's hard to function generally. I don't know what to do about any of it.

[Symbolic]

I've been in a positive mind space for a few weeks. I'm actually starting to truly believe that my life is turning in the right direction and am finding my drive and ambition returning. I have no idea where this sudden change came from, but I'm running with it and seeing where it takes me.

I have been feeling pretty good today. Although it was very slow at work today. Worked out after work. Nothing much else.

[Buffy01]

Lately I been feeling really depressed again. Every things hurts emotionally.

[puzzclar]

I received communication from extended family who lives closer. My Grandma is struggling to make the decision to live or die. She doesn't want to be blind and she has heart, kidney and fluid issues. I want to see her one more time but due to this dumb virus, I'm worried. It's starting to affect my mood more, on top of everything else. I'm swamped, I don't know what I want in life and feeling only semi-safe. I"m scared for a lot of reasons and I feel like I need more time with T to digest it all. Will Thursday come faster, PLEASE! Thursday is when I see my T.

A little more busier today than yesterday, which was nice. Been feeling pretty good and at ease this week so far.

[3rd rock]

Unfair treatment at work makes me angry and sad.

[giddykitty]

Feeling very depressed lately. I just read something about laundry on here and usually I like laundry, but today I don't even want to do it. I don't want to do anything anymore! :/

[G lady]

I'm hopefully optimistic that I'm moving in a better direction now. Went to the Dr yesterday and she upped my med dosage, and talking to her helped, too. Feeling better today, even got in a run. Have not been able to in the last week or so due to symptoms and nasty headaches.

[puzzclar]

It's 13 ish minutes before my appointment with T. I am anxious. I sent him an email and I hope it's received well and doesn't land me in the hospital. I'm scared. I don't want to have to post pone an upper endoscopy that's tomorrow!!

I want to scream!!

[Yzen]

I was supposed to get a call today from a therapist that has been giving me support through the rough time I've had these past two weeks. We had set a time. She didn't call or email me. I know she got busy, but it makes me feel 'not important' and depressed. I emailed her and she apologized and we are going to talk on Monday. I could have used the support today.

[puzzclar]

I don't feel good. My upper endoscopy is in8-9 hours and my anxiety is high. And it's 2:30 am... I'm scared it will confirm that I'm making things up, I'm not but that's how I feel. I'm also scared of them finding cancer. It's just a big unknown and I'm freaking out.

[Breaking Dawn]

Dear @puzzclar, I'm very sorry about this worry of yours & I hope you find out soon that everything is ok.

I feel like the pain I am in from the shower I had this morning is going to last most (if not all) day

add that to the fact I am not doing anything reggardless, pretty low

[hvert]

I hope the endoscopy comes back clear of cancer but with something minor and resolvable that explains your symptoms!

I am struggling to function today. I don't feel well physically and am getting really stressed about not having worked for such a long time. What started as a short break has turned into a long one and it is hard to face reality.

[Mopey]

Also hoping your endoscopy goes without incident and reveals nothing too serious.

Wishing you the best.

[MissUdy]

The usual talk I give myself isn’t working. I don’t know why I’m getting up every day, or going to work, or showering, or anything when there’s nothing to look forward to. Before I could tell myself the future will be different, I can go new places or figure things out. but I know it isn’t true anymore and nothing will ever be really ok again and neither will I.

[puzzclar]

I have a hiatal hernia. a small one, but enough to cause pain. IT is caused by GERD, and stress. Boy, did I have a lot of stress lately. I finished the term with a B, and a C. And I wouldn't change those grades, I struggled through the term, and did not allow enough time for my studies. I wish I had taken only one course.

But that is in the past, TIme to move FORWARD!

I will be seeking confirmation that MBSR is the best thing for me right now. I will ask tomorrow, and I Need it. I ordered a meditation cushion and backpressure point thing. to help my back to heal.

I have been doing a lot lately and now I need to catch up. Tomorrow I am off, but I need 2.5 hours of training to do. I need to learn how to set realistic goals.

I feel like I need to sleep . Maybe I'll go to sleep early. I still have masks to make, but that can wait for the morning.

I'm glad that Friday is over. This morning seemed to be weird as there were some confusion as to where and when to wear a mask at work. At where I work they just started to have guidelines about mask wearing. Also, I had kept the masks in a cabinet in the room I work in and it's with some reams of paper. The maintenance man had come in the room before I got there to get some masks. He noticed that some mice had gotten into the cabinet. They had chewed up some paper. I didn't notice that when I had put the masks in a couple of weeks ago.

It seems pretty noisy tonight at my place. I think there's one guy who is talking on a cell phone. He's pretty loud and I don't like him that much.

[Breaking Dawn]

I apparently have been experiencing anxiety, but I seem to be handling it better right now, which I am very grateful for.

Typical Saturday for me. Lots of domestic work. Felt very tired in the mid-afternoon. Took a nap and then went on a one-hour bike ride. Now it's evening and on to a movie that I hope will be good.

feeling bad all ready and I've only just eaten breakfast

though: I am in terrible body pain and I didn't get any sleep. can you blame me

[Deilla]

I feel a little sad this morning. It's still early and I could do with some more sleep. So maybe I should try for an hour or two. I can hear the birds waking up this morning. It really makes me want to sit in bed and read instead. So I am torn.