I got through this week OK. I called my sister this morning to wish her a Happy Birthday. She didn't answer when I called. It was at 9:30 her time when I called and she was sleeping in bed. She called me tonight at 7:15.

When I'm at work, I keep on asking myself why am I doing it. I know I should be very thankful, and I am. But it gets very hard to be at work and not much going on everyday. I don't feel good about myself when it's like that. There are hardly anyone there.

[Breaking Dawn]

Isn't life fun?

[Rose76]

I had a good day.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by will19

Slow boring day at work again, though the morning was just fairly busy. I got upset this afternoon when I was walking by the security area; and as I was walking by, I had my hand in my pocket. Just a habit of mine, I guess, that I don't realize that I do. The woman guard saw me and said, "guys who put their hands in their pockets do it because they want to be taller". I don't know why she would say that to me. I'm not a real tall guy, but I'm not short either. Some people have said that I was short and it hurts me. I'm confused about that woman because she can be very nice to me and has helped me when I was in a crisis. But sometimes she'll say a joke that can be hurtful.

My guess is that she's not all that nice. I suspect she knew she was being hurtful. Mean people sometimes act very nice. I think they get others to drop their guard. Then theh go in with the knife.

Here's a response yoj can make to throw her off: after her making that ridiculous statement, you look deep into her eyes and say, "You can believe that, if you want." Then you keep walking to where you were headed. If she acts real frustrated, then her game is revealed and short-circuited. You get to be the calm one. Her plan was to arouse turmoil in your soul. She meant for you to feel defensive about your height . . . to feel all confused . . . and she succeeded.

Either she's really stupid, or she's got a mean streak. Minimize the attention you pay to her.

For the first time in a while I didn't do any cleaning. I had too much going on for that. I went shopping at 8:15. I prefer the way it used to be when I would go
shopping after lunch. I have switched that routine because, as of now in the early afternoon, there would be a long line to get into the store. I don't have that problem around 8AM.

In the mid-morning I had a personal-business meeting. It went pretty well. I have this afternoon to clean, but I don't feel like it. It's very hot and humid right now. Nothing much for the rest of the day.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I think I've finally realized why my books don't sell. It's because my stories are boring, poorly written, and basically unreadable. Too bad I can't write any other way.

Keep writing and sending it to different agency somewhere someone will like your stories. Don't give up.

[Buffy01]

I been feeling really down, sad, depressed today. I have lots of positive vibes around me from salt lamp, crystal necklace.

I was busy in the morning, but things slowed down a lot to a crawl in the afternoon. I'll be watching a movie for tonight and I hope it's going to be good. I'm not in a good mood tonight. I'm getting a feeling that my friend is upset with me.

over the weekend I have been trying to sort out my cds- getting rid of old ones I no longer want

today I came across a cd of the fun lovin criminals given to me by my brother dan before he passed away. wow, so many memories attached to that album, not all good, either.

feeling worthless and like their's not really any point. mentally and emotionallyh, really struggling. so I through a couple of cds out. big deal, it's hardly going to change the world- and I have so many other problems to contend with

A little bit better day today than yesterday. Spoke to my sister today and it went OK. Took a 2 and half hour bike ride today. Was very hot outside today. Feeling tired because of the heat.

Just had 2 days break from several weeks of extreme heat and humidity. That helped a bit. My mood is very low. Finally, I'm forced out of a long relationship that wasn't healthy. He left. Unfortunately he left his cat here who has been in heat or anxious or something for months now and the irritation of hearing the thing whining at the loudest it can almost all day and night is beyond insane making.

Also insane making is grieving something that I was constantly given hope for. He made his decision suddenly and is all happily vacationing with family and moving there. Totally not what I expected. But I know and realize how horrible he had been to me. Why does life just get harder and harder. I have no idea how I'm going to afford living. Working is impossible and I'm waiting for some tests to see why I'm having so much pain. Life seems so cruel. I try to find any bits of peace, if I could sleep enough I'd feel a bit better. I tempted to try anything to just sleep for a good 12 hours. I feel like calling animal shelter to say he abandoned his cat just so I can have some peace.

[Nitrous]

Feeling depressed. It's probably hormones, but that just makes me angry. I don't want a reason, I want to feel better.

[T4bbyCat]

Originally Posted by 2daffodils

Just had 2 days break from several weeks of extreme heat and humidity. That helped a bit. My mood is very low. Finally, I'm forced out of a long relationship that wasn't healthy. He left. Unfortunately he left his cat here who has been in heat or anxious or something for months now and the irritation of hearing the thing whining at the loudest it can almost all day and night is beyond insane making.

Always good when there's a break from heat and humidity. Unfortunately, both seem to be coming to my area soon.

Sorry to hear about your relationship... I take it he abandoned his cat as well?

[peaches45]

Feeling sad today. Don't know the exact reason why

Originally Posted by T4bbyCat

Always good when there's a break from heat and humidity. Unfortunately, both seem to be coming to my area soon.

Sorry to hear about your relationship... I take it he abandoned his cat as well?

Yes I was irritable with the heat, it'll be back today but at least I got some things done without sweating profusely..

THe relationship wasn't good for me anyway. I know I loved him so it's painful, but I'm going to be o.k. eventually.

He left in a hurry and figured I'd be fine to look after his cat, although he had said a few weeks before abruptly leaving "i'm going to get it spayed for sure" and he wasn't able to sleep with the noise either...... so I'm feeling like he was a coward for not being honest, saying he'd be back in a month, ending things from far away and moving was never talked about.

I did talk to him, he said he'll pick up the cat whenever he can, could be a few months... I do consider that abandonment if he had no plans for someone to care of it and left it up to me without my ok for what would be much longer that I was told.... feels good to write it out and that someone asked about it, thank you T4bby Cat. Hugs to you.

Kind of a weird day at work today. Just before lunch, my laptop decided to not work. So I took it to the IT guy and he knew what the problem was. While he was figuring it out a woman, who works from her home, came to see him about a problem she had. The IT guy had to work with her and me at the same time. I felt like I was not at my best disposition this afternoon. When my laptop got working, I had to do a research on something that happened over three months ago, and I had to go to Security to get help instead of being able to do it myself, in which I hated.

[Teeny30]

I been feeling really down and depressed today.

[3rd rock]

I've had a really bad week. Called in sick on Wednesday, and calling in sick for tomorrow. Sadness, anxiety through the roof. I'll hold on and be better next week, I hope.

Met new HR lady at work. She's very nice and pleasant, and she's also extremely attractive.

A pretty bad day today. It was kind of bad yesterday but it all worked out. Today was much worse. This morning I got notified from my managers that I needed to enter in my phone number on a safety app on my mobil phone. I couldn't do it, so I was told to delete the app and start a new one. No problem, I thought. I downloaded the app and it didn't come up with what my managers wanted. So ended up going to the IT guy again today (I spent a good amount of time with him yesterday with the computer problem). He couldn't come up with a solution. The last words from my manager to me, by Instant Messaging, was; "I don't have any more to say". All of this was totally unexpected. There was no pre-warning about this ahead of time.

I'm such a perfectionist; and have a moderate to severe depression. So this doesn't help me one bit. Plus with the way things are going lately with the lack of work and not so great social support.

[3rd rock]

I feel like I'm going to die, like my heart might stop at any moment, or that something catastrophically bad is imminent. I tried to call in sick but the call in line isn't working as if it's been disconnected so I emailed one of the supervisors and CC'd the rep to notify them of my absence tomorrow. But I feel threatened by something very bad like I'm going to drop dead. It's a state of paralyzing fear. It's been a very long time since it's been so bad.

feeling okay emotionally, just in a lot of pain from my shower earlier

ow my back is killing me

[Breaking Dawn]

Yesterday turned out to be pretty successful. I finally completed an important goal, & I did a few other things I had needed to do. So of course I feel glad about that. I'm hoping I can get more done today.

A better day than today. Nothing went wrong at work, although I haven't been able to download that app. It's a funny that on Wednesday the laptop didn't work and it was a big deal. It didn't take that long to fix it. But then yesterday that app issue was very minor and unimportant. But yet there was so much drama about it and it has not been resolved.

The weekend is here now, which is nice. But nothing exciting coming up.

[puzzclar]

I have a decision to make. And I'm scared. There is a lot happening and on top of it all I need to decide my future. I need to relax and trust myself. Yet that is Hard.

Very busy today. Saturday mornings seem to be more busy than any whole day at work. I got up a little bit earlier. It's nice that I cleaned my place today since I didn't do it last week.

Feeling a bit depressed now. I always feel that way on Saturday afternoons. The only pretty nice thing that happened was that I decided to go to my bank a half an hour before it closed. No problem getting in and no waiting. And then I had a teller whom I haven't seen in quite a while. She's always been nice to me and knows my name, in which the other tellers do not. She and I agreed that things were much better before The Virus hit. The last time I had seen her was before that Virus hit, which was probably more than three months ago.

I've noticed lately that, next door to me, I see the man a lot but not the woman, whom he's married to. I wonder if something happened to her? She's pretty nice to me. Her husband doesn't talk much. I've never felt comfortable with couples when the woman seems friendlier to me than the man does. Of course, I don't feel comfortable being with couples anyways.