[puzzclar]

Last one is over 100 pages here's a new one

[puzzclar]

I'm mostly down today.... And I want to email my T but that is something I don't really want. I know my safety is an issue and I know the plan but gosh darn it I don't like the plan

[SlumberKitty]

I'm feeling sad today. And I'm feeling useless and like I'm a waste of space. I'm sure that it is just the depression talking but it feels real.

[3rd rock]

Last one only at 54 pages in default view.

I haven't been this beaten by life in a long time.

My stomach always seems to be upset.

Things have been out of control. Need to remember to control myself. I don’t really know how to deal with it except the usual issue, self injury. I think things have been really bad lately. I need to remember that I cannot pull it all off without some serious control. Ive been overemotional, made big mistakes, and feel disgusting about my overall self and have no idea what others see. Probably an unkempt angry person who is too arrogant for where they’re at. I don’t know what’s going on with my body, it’s never been great. I wish I were still prepubescent. I feel disgusting.

Yesterday a guy in the department above me said he thinks I’d fit in there. It’s not like he really knows me well...

Today I looked at the women who are in that department and they are so classy and polished. True they are about 30years old. But I feel like I’m pretty much at my mid 20s now and I still can’t brush my hair daily. Sure maybe it’s because of depression but really it’s not a good look. My mother used to yell at me about my appearance. I probably won’t get promoted for my lack of social skills, lack of self presentation. It’s really not ok.

[bpcyclist]

Not sleeping, like, one minute last night. Worried about how today is going to go, since I am so very sleep-sensitive. We will see...

[Rose76]

I'm doing pretty okay.

[puzzclar]

I don't like distraction.... I'm tired of keeping myself distracted. I'm tired of a lot of things. Yet I keep going. I'm down a lot and there has been no relief. Hopefully relief will come soon. But I doubt it.

I was extremely busy this morning. Did a lot of cleaning this morning. My place really needed the cleaning after not doing it for three weeks. And lots of places to go for shopping and stuff.

Been feeling very down late this afternoon and tonight. For some reason, it seems like the people at where I live seem to have it more together than I do. I feel like I'm the only lonely fool at my place. There were times of extensive noise just outside my door. The couple next to me had a grandchild over and the kid was very loud.

[puzzclar]

Depressed, still! Not really any change but I'm a bit less sui. But I still want to go to the er. Isn't it weird that I want to go when I don't necessarily need to.

[Rose76]

I'm still doing pretty good.

Not much of an exciting weekend, even though I was busy both days. Today I put my weights together and packed them in my car. Someone at where I work wants to buy it. Unfortunately I was not able to put my bench in the car, since it doesn't fit. The buyer, I guess, doesn't really care if he gets the bench or not. But I wanted to get rid of it. This is kind of sad that after some 25 years, those weights are going to be out of my life. And it's all because of my neighbor having to complain about it.

I went for a three hour bike ride today.

Another dull weekend is about to come to an end. I dread going to work on Mondays, but I don't know why? I like my job. It seems like it's at work where I really have a social life. I guess that's the way it is for some people.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by puzzclar

I'm mostly down today.... And I want to email my T but that is something I don't really want. I know my safety is an issue and I know the plan but gosh darn it I don't like the plan

I understand how you feel!

[Buffy01]

My emotions has been up and down throughout the day!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I'm feeling sad today. And I'm feeling useless and like I'm a waste of space. I'm sure that it is just the depression talking but it feels real.

I understand how you feel! I feel the same way lately

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by 2daffodils

I haven't been this beaten by life in a long time.

I wish I could feel that way!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by the walls

My stomach always seems to be upset.

I understand! I don't know why my stomach becoming upset whenever I am feeling depressed or have anxiety. I thought I was the only one who did that!

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by the walls

Things have been out of control. Need to remember to control myself. I don’t really know how to deal with it except the usual issue, self injury. I think things have been really bad lately. I need to remember that I cannot pull it all off without some serious control. Ive been overemotional, made big mistakes, and feel disgusting about my overall self and have no idea what others see. Probably an unkempt angry person who is too arrogant for where they’re at. I don’t know what’s going on with my body, it’s never been great. I wish I were still prepubescent. I feel disgusting.

I completely understand how you feel! Don't be to hard on yourself!

I’m so tired.

[3rd rock]

My current project will be finished by the end of November. My next project will be started on at that time.

[Turtle_Rider]

It's been awful for the last couple week. I failed to get a bigger job. Next, our division got into a big trouble because one member carelessly responded to a spam email. It seems like we're going to lose everything and have to start all over again. And now, I just heard that a good coworker will be fired soon.

Home is worse. I got into more arguments with my parents, from a very small matter to big one. The fight worsens every day.

I wish I could run away somewhere.

[SlumberKitty]

Some feelings of depression and dissociation. Some feelings of not wanting to be here. Mostly just trying to get distracted and not be hard on myself. Kind of bored today too. Tomorrow should be a busy day at work though.