[rtrudeau]

Hey everybody. I just got diagnosed with depression by Lori. I guess i made a mistake. I contacted my HMO for information on their depression program before i was going to tell Lori about some things. My HMO called her and she confronted me with it last week. I ended up spilling and now she wants to put me on drug. i see the doctor soon for her to write me a script, but i dont know if i want to be on drugs the rest of my life.

Me and my dad got in a fight yesterday, and its been going through my mind all day. I've been killing myself over it. How could i have done sumthing differant in my life to make him care about me? Some of you may know from previouse posts that me and my father dont get along at all. Its like he knows im there and hurting, but he is relentless with his insults, negative comments, and yelling for no reason. He just hates me, and no one really sees it but me, even when i try to tell them.

I told Jennifer (my best friend) about all the pain i've been having, and how me and my father dont get along. I wouldn't dare tell her about the abuse yet. I almost started to cry, at the restaurant, but i caught myself and stoped for a second then moved on a little bit off the subject. I think she noticed, in fact i know she did. Her mom is very nice too. She told me that if i ever needed to talk, that i could tell her anything, any time. Same thing w/ Jennifer.

I just feel real sad right now. If anyone has AIM or AOL and wants to give me their SN, then maby i can talk to you with that. Or of any therapists online that can help for free. Thanks.





What good are tears if they have no shoulder to fall on? What good are they if they only fall from your face and pool on the graound, without anybody noticing?

[dexter]

Hi rt... with a diagnosis you can begin to get help and relief for your depression.

Why do you worry about being on medication the rest of your life... if it helps you? With the right meds you don't feel drugged up or artificially happy, you just feel normal again. If a particular drug has side effects that bother you, you can work with your doc on alternatives. That is something to worry about after you get better.

From the stories you have told about your dad it doesn't seem like the problem has anything to do with you. He's got issues. You haven't done anything wrong and likely nothing you could have done would have changed the way he is.

If he is not going to change at least you can accept treatment so that you can enjoy your own life. Don't let his misery tie you down.

Sorry I don't have any messenger software so I can't chat... but take care and keep hope.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[(JD)]

I am not up to givng any good advice right now, but welcome and sure understand this dilemma you are in ... the distaste of having something that has a name and finally having a name to all the stuff you've been experiancing and thinking you were crazy....

Take it slowly give your self a little time to acclimate to being diagnoses... there are plenty of ideas about...