so many emotions

I have so many of my own things to figure out and I can't seem to figure them out. I feel like there is this fog all around and I just can't seem to get rid of it. Then to add to my problems my mom and stepdad are talking about divorce. Part of me wishes they would just make up their mind and do it. Its like a roller coaster with them. My mom is so afraid of being single that she'd rather be in a loveless marriage than be single. And if they do get a divorce I'll be stuck taking care of my mom and thats kind of the reason I wish they'd stay together. I know that is terrible but I don't want to take care of her. Yes, she is my mom and she has done alot for me but at the same time she has treated me like crap too and I don't want to be stuck taking care of her. But yet I don't want her to be unhappy either. I feel torn between her and me. When her and my dad divorced I was 15 and I remember I never left her side. I felt it was my job to take care of her. Yes, she never asked me to but I did it. I didn't go hang out with friends, go to the movies, or anything like that because I didn't want to leave her. Like I said she never asked me to do it but I did it and at the same time she never declined it. And as bad as this sounds I kind of resent her for it. I feel I missed out on alot of things that other teens were doing. I know this may not make sense but I feel kind of bad. I just don't want to take care of her like I did before.

hi maymie... i can relate to your predicament on a few different levels...

my sis and you would have a lot in common re: resentment and conlict about taking care of mom...

mom had a dui wreck and it wrecked our lives...

so sis took care of her awhile and feels she lost some youth that way... i can see her point of view..

now i am moms helper.. she really needs it..

dont know what your reasons are for 'having' to take care of mom and you express love as well as self considerations.. there is your crux...

satisfy both is my advice... love her and love you...

hope you feel better soon

(((((((((maymie)))))))))

you are in a tough situation. is there no family on her side that can help? i mean, it shouldn't fall squarely on your shoulders. it is hard to become a caretaker for someone who should be taking care of you. i will be keeping you in my prayers. wishing you warm thoughts and hope you take care of YOU. melanie