[onlymedid]

I have known that my mom is going to die from cancer, but just today I found out that she has less than 6 months to live. I thought I was ok with it as I knew this day would come, but I realize that I am NOT ok with it. I am ! This isn't fair. I didn't get to grow up with her after the age of 3.
I am now 33 and I moved up to where she lives so I could be around and do things for her. I have only been here for 3 months and THIS is the kind of news I get.
I am at a loss. I don't know what I am going to do when I lose her. I have my boyfriend and I love him with all my heart, but I am afraid that won't even be enough to sustain me. I am scared, I am livid, I am confused and I am dying right along with my mom.
I am living to make her last days as comfortable as possible. The pain meds aren't working anymore. She sleeps all the time and rarely eats. She is giving up.....I wish she would just NOT give up. I'm not ready to lose my mommy!
OK, I am done. I won't go on any more. I just needed to vent.

[nowheretorun]

sending caring thoughts onlyme...

[mrsmoggles]

Huggles, only me. I will keep you and your mother in my prayers. Peace be with you...melanie

[onlymedid]

Thank you for the thoughts and prayers. I really need them atm.

(((((((((onlyme))))))))

sending prayers and hugs to you and your mom, please know we are all here for you

Jinny xxxxxx

[youOme]

You think you've heard it, but really it's to hard to believe. That's how it was for me. I think deep down I was in denial till the day she passed...even then I didn't accept it for awhile. Grieving process I suppose. I'm so sorry for your news. My recommendation is to do what I wish I would have done and that is to say anything you ever wanted to say, be physically affectionate, and try to accomplish something you always wanted to do with your mother.

(((hugs)))

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((onlymedid))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Both you and your mom are in my thoughts.

BB

(((onlymedid)))))))))))))
One of the hardest things in life is to lose your Mom
I am sorry
Spend as much time as you can with her
But take care of yourself too
Tell her what you need to say to her
My thoughts are with you

remember keep good care of you too
muffy

[onlymedid]

Thank you so much to all of you. It helps having ppl that care and that I can express to.
I will try to talk to my mom. She is just really in her own little world right now.
She knows i love her very much and I am here til the end.
Thanks again, just having you all support me is a wonderful feeling.

[nowheretorun]

come back as often as you like (((onlyme)))

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((( onlymedid ))))))))))))

[curley]

I am sorry for your pain and it is very sad that after such a short reunion you will be separated again. This shows me again how short life is and how important it is to show we care to the ones close to us. I do not think we are ever ready to lose someone we love, but it will be so much easier for your mom if you let her know it is alright to let go. The living are the selfish ones because we are left here alone, while the other half of our heart goes to a much better place. My thoughts are with you.

[onlymedid]

I told my mom that my sisters and I have talked. We don't want her to stick around out of fear of how we will be. She said that she isn't so worried about us girls because we have each other. She is worried about my step-dad because she thinks he will kill himself after she is gone. I told her that we will be here for him because he is our "dad" whether biological or not he has been there for the past 23 years when our dads were not.
I try to make sure not to hold anything back, but at the same time I don't want to upset her and make anything worse. I try to keep things lite and positive.
Thanks for all your kind words and advice. I am really and truly listening.
Also, thank you for the prayers and thoughts. It helps!

[dkwynn]

I am sorry that you are losing your mother, it is the most
painful thing to lose your mother. You have no doubt heard
this so many times that you could scream. This is one more time: I know how you feel, but I really do. I had no plans to post anything anywhere, Just reading was all I have done since joining, Reading about your mother and your pain I felt I should try and post and share. My mother and I were never close until my dad died and then my mother was able to do what she wanted to without fear of
my father. We had finally able to get to know each other and found we liked each other, after about a year I was so enjoying for the first having a mother in my life, she became
sick and learned she had to have open heart surgery and
then she was going to stay with me while she recovered.
I fixed the extra bedroom just for her, looking forward to
her staying with me. She never came out of surgery. I was
angery felt it was not fair we were just getting to know each other so many feelings and emotions that words can't even describe. This was several years ago and times it feels like it was yesterday. My baby brother at twenty eight just finished collage and was at the world and then was told he had about a year and passed away four years after my mother did then this past april on the annaversay of my
brother's death my only family still alive had a massive stroke and died. The knife you feel sticking in you, the crushing pain that never goes away, you will feel you can not breath, all of this is part of greiving at least thats what I have read. All you can really do is make it one day then make it one more day and try to keep breathing. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

dkwynn

[onlymedid]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
dkwynn said:
I am sorry that you are losing your mother, it is the most
painful thing to lose your mother. You have no doubt heard
this so many times that you could scream. This is one more time: I know how you feel, but I really do. I had no plans to post anything anywhere, Just reading was all I have done since joining, Reading about your mother and your pain I felt I should try and post and share. My mother and I were never close until my dad died and then my mother was able to do what she wanted to without fear of
my father. We had finally able to get to know each other and found we liked each other, after about a year I was so enjoying for the first having a mother in my life, she became
sick and learned she had to have open heart surgery and
then she was going to stay with me while she recovered.
I fixed the extra bedroom just for her, looking forward to
her staying with me. She never came out of surgery. I was
angery felt it was not fair we were just getting to know each other so many feelings and emotions that words can't even describe. This was several years ago and times it feels like it was yesterday. My baby brother at twenty eight just finished collage and was at the world and then was told he had about a year and passed away four years after my mother did then this past april on the annaversay of my
brother's death my only family still alive had a massive stroke and died. The knife you feel sticking in you, the crushing pain that never goes away, you will feel you can not breath, all of this is part of greiving at least thats what I have read. All you can really do is make it one day then make it one more day and try to keep breathing. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

dkwynn

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

DKWYNN, WOW! You have certainly been through a lot. I know that people understand and it helps to not feel so alone. I can't imagine losing so many people in such a short amount of time. I am really glad you decided to post. I do feel like a knife sticking me right in the heart at times.
I am just really getting to know my mom, her real self and not the one that was presented to me on some weekend visits or if I would come up for a week to visit. She presents as this strong person who hates to have others worry about her or take care of her.
I know it is tearing her up inside, but she refuses to talk about it.
I am sending you warm thoughts on your losses and I appreciate your thoughts and prayers, as well. It really and truly does help when others can share what they have gone thru, like you have.
Thank you so much!

[agony007]

i am so sorry u are losing your mother. (((only)))

[kebsfroggy]

I'm sorry for the pain you are in.
I'm sorry you won't be able to spend more time with your Mom.
I'm sorry for all the memories that you could have had together.

Make the most of the short time you have together. Let her know how much your relationship means to you. Let her know how much you will miss her when she is gone. Let her know all the love you have not been able to give her all these years.

Soon she will be leaving and I'm sure she doesn't want to leave you. But the disease has taken its toll. For her the peace of death is favorable to the pain of living.

She is not leaving you because she wants to go. She is not leaving to hurt you. Soon she will free of all the pain. Soon she will be singing with the angels.

It doesn't bring you comfort to know this. I wish I were able to take away your anger and pain.



I'm sorry

(((((((onlymedid)))))))

((((((kebby))))))))

my heart goes out to you......Jinny xxxxxx