[Rose76]

Depression has been dogging me bad for days now. I'm sleeping too much. When awake, I'm just in my recliner in front of the TV. Back in mid-Sept, I recovered from a rough summer during which I was in grief over my significant other dying of cancer. Then, from mid-Sept to New Years, I was doing really well. I actually enjoyed the holidays. However, once they were over and the pretty decorations taken down, I went into a funk. All through January, I've been down. Today I'm desperate to get back how I was all through the fall.

I'm spending way too much time home alone in my apartment. My dilemma is this - I want to get out and connect with the world, but I'm terrified of COVID. We're all facing the same dilemma. I'ld love to know how others decide how much risk to take. I basically just leave home to go to Walmart, Sam's Club or Costco. That's it! That's also the only exercise I get - walking around the stores. It's not enough.

I used to have coffee with my neighbor who lives alone, but I'm afraid of doing that anymore. Another friend of mine used to stop over my place for visits to chat, but I've discouraged her doing that anymore. I guess that's what I'm supposed to be doing. I watched my boyfriend, who had lung cancer, die of respiratory failure. I watched him lose his battle to breathe. It's a bad way to go. At the very end, it was awful. So COVID terrifies me. Not being able to breathe terrifies me.

In trying to stay safe from COVID, I'm afraid I'm going to lose my mind. I want to get out of the house and go have dinner somewhere. I want to go to a nearby gym and exercise. I want to do something fun with a friend. I want life to be more normal. I want to invite company over. In all of this, I'm far from alone. You all must be getting sick of this new way of living. What risks do you take, if you take any? How do you decide what you will, or won't, do?

I was doing so good up until Jan. Now I'm in a downward spiral. It feels miserable.

[divine1966]

I am sorry, this is just rough. Isn’t it? Covid isolation causes a lot of mental health issues.

I don’t have other options but face risks every day. I work in person. With people. No other options. So because I am exposed to risk at work every day I am not particularly limiting myself what I am exposed to outside of work. I go places. Within my state guidelines. Like restaurants are closed. So I don’t go. But if they are open, we occasionally go. Or get carry out. Restaurants will reopen soon with 25% capacity. Well we will likely go. Two of my girlfriends do not go out to eat during covid but they also about ten years older than me. We haven’t been going to the gym. Well they are partially open. I didn’t have my vaccine yet. My state is lagging

My daughter says that we might die of covid but we can’t live like we are already dead. So we can do a bit of something. Within guidelines and reason. My dad is 83 and we can’t keep him at home. He goes places here and there and picked up a side job few years back. He did so he won’t get depressed. It gets him out of the house. He also does a lot of projects around the house. On one hand we don’t want him to do any of it. On the other hand, he’d be very depressed if he didn’t go anywhere or had no projects to do.

It’s such rough times. I’ve been feeling down myself. I watch too much tv, eat too much and gained obscene amount of weight. It’s tough

I watched a movie today that was quite profound and for whatever reason it made me cry inconsolable. I realized it wasn’t even about the movie. Just a release of built up struggle with covid

[Rose76]

You sure seem to know exactly what I'm talking about. Your daughter speaks with the voice of the still young. I don't think it's possible for the young to hide from COVID the way more mature folk feel they have to. You must worry about your dad, but I think you are correct to respect his choices.

I console myself with the thought that this won't last forever. However, I am becoming physically deconditioned from inactivity. A few more months of this, and I may sink down to a level I won't ever come back from. I should keep busy around the house. There's enough to do around here. Just keeping up with the chores that need doing would keep me reasonably active. But I'm doing next to nothing. Boxes of Christmas decorations are still piledup in the livingroom. I need to put them away in my outside storage closet. Just can't seem to make myself.

I could hardly eat dinner. I take an antidepressant. It helps. I wonder if adding another med would help, but I don't have much interest in pursuing that either.

Though I slept late today, already I want to go to bed. I'm sick of watching TV. Plenty of other things I could do . . . but they'ld require some effort on my part.

Depression blows over. Somehow I'm afraid this won't.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Rose76

You sure seem to know exactly what I'm talking about. Your daughter speaks with the voice of the still young. I don't think it's possible for the young to hide from COVID the way more mature folk feel they have to. You must worry about your dad, but I think you are correct to respect his choices.

I console myself with the thought that this won't last forever. However, I am becoming physically deconditioned from inactivity. A few more months of this, and I may sink down to a level I won't ever come back from. I should keep busy around the house. There's enough to do around here. Just keeping up with the chores that need doing would keep me reasonably active. But I'm doing next to nothing. Boxes of Christmas decorations are still piledup in the livingroom. I need to put them away in my outside storage closet. Just can't seem to make myself.

I could hardly eat dinner. I take an antidepressant. It helps. I wonder if adding another med would help, but I don't have much interest in pursuing that either.

Though I slept late today, already I want to go to bed. I'm sick of watching TV. Plenty of other things I could do . . . but they'ld require some effort on my part.

Depression blows over. Somehow I'm afraid this won't.

Hugs.

Oh yeah she is young. She just has a funny way of saying things. Actually she and her fiancée both had covid. They were very sick but they are young so recovered with no consequence. They got it on the train taking an unnecessary trip when Covid first hit. She heard many people get it twice though

I pray that it gets better by the summer. I don’t know what vaccination schedule is in your state but are you close to get it, possible? Would that give you piece of mind? I am getting mine finally on Wednesday and my husband got both of his. My dad signed up but keep waiting for it to happen. They keep running out of it. So crazy

Try dont let this thing to beat you down. The only consolation is that so many people’s life and mental health are effected by it. Loss of jobs and income in addition to fear of covid and isolation. Is it even surprising that depression and anxiety are on the raise.

Try to stay active even if for a bit. How about if you put away Christmas decoration, I’ll straighten up guest bedroom? Since no one is visiting due to covid, our guest room looks like storage now. Ugh I jusf close the door lol

[Rose76]

Okay. Tomorrow I'll put away Xmas stuff. That would give me a great lift. Try to do even an hour on your guest bedroom.

I'm figuring March as when the shots will be available to me. That's really just a baseless guess.

So many have suffered terribly from COVID. Besides the sickness, some have lost their livelyhood. I should count my blessings.