[peedoff]

My life is a total mess. I split up with my wife 2yrs ago and have been trying to get back on track eva since, the only problem is that when something finally goes right it neva lasts... It seems pointless even trying now. I am thinking to myself WHY BOTHER AT ALL?? I have struggled all my life to stay on this planet and i still dont know why because all it eva does is treat me like SH~~:bang-head:.. I just dont know what to do anymore i feel like screaming, crying curling up in a ball neva to b seen again,running away, leaving this place.......... <wish i was there... Dont suppose any1 really gives a sh~# sorry for boring you all and wasting your time reading my rant.

[tautologic]

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peedoff said:
all it eva does is treat me like SH~~:bang-head:.. I just dont know what to do anymore

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Well, since you asked for "help", let me ask you this in regards to your comment above.....what have you done so far to change this cycle?

Blaming life in general for your problems isn't going to help you.
Most times when we face difficulties it is our OWN choices that bring them on. It is a really hard thing to accept. But when you can finally open your heart and mind to the true concept of change, you can begin to unravel the patterns that continue to place you back at square one time and again.

[peedoff]

Well tautologic i have given up drugs and alchohol for a start. I try to keep in employment rather than do nothing and i am now in therapy. I am trying to change my life but it dont seem to want to change.... I suppose its just slowly does it but it just feels like neva does it... I am trying it just feels like i am getting nowhere fast. just a bad day i suppose... <font color="#000088"> </font>

[tautologic]

you hit it right on the head. It takes time. Time and continued effort. Change is slow. Think about how long you have lived in the pattern you did. All the years that you reinforced behaviors that might not have been healthy. These things wont go away over night. So it sounds like you are headed in the right direction. You have taken obvious steps to BEGIN to unravel the negatives. You also seem to be in an open mindset to be able to recognize not only this need for change but that it is a process.

Maybe try keeping a diary or journal that logs your thoughts and successes. This will give you something tangible to look at when you are "having a bad day". Don't give up, remember that in any race uphill is the hardest but once you reach the crest its all downhill!