Im tired of continuing

I dont think I can do this anymore, I keep fantasizing about dying, about how Id do it, I have a semi thought out plan but Im afraid of failing and pain. But I cant keep going. Im tired of my job and job searching and being rejected for pretty much everything.

I also feel like without attempting first that theres no reason to even go to the mental hospital either, Id feel like a failure too. I guess til I finally actually do it Ill just continue to fantasize about it

I've got no words of wisdom. I struggle with this every day, too. I have the occasional good day but it rarely makes up for all the bad days. I do want you to know that you are not alone with these feelings. I do understand.

I wish you the strength to make it one more day.

I hear you and feel for you. I've felt this way before as well. Many times. Is there one thing you can think of that you are grateful for or makes you happy?

I still think going to the hospital is a good idea. Please know you are not alone.

I have 3 things - roses, pineapples, and Cap'n Crunch. The most wonderful things, but they all scratch - i just realized that.

thank you, its been hard when everything seems to be sending me to the edge, even basic things are starting to be hard to cope with at this point

I have my online friends and my cats, I truly do enjoy the both of them and they do make me feel a bit better. And Id feel awkward going to the hospital without attempting, I fear no one would take me serious of I did

We are winners. We fight against mental illness. We are victorious in our battles. We must not give in. We must survive and forge onward. My fellow brother/sister, please fight the good fight and finish the race. Blessings from a fellow survivor!

Ive been to the hospital for sui thoughts far to much. I'm afraid of the pain, it's what's kept me here for 15 years. I thought about going to the hospital this very week. Then, I thought what could I do to create a life I enjoy. With a current wrist injury on my dominant hand, and I thought I can't do life anymore. After making a choice to stay out of the hospital, I tried what I'd do in the hospital, art. I painted with my left hand, mostly.

Then that act got me thinking, what can I do to help my life be tolerable. And I got moving physically, restarted meds, and then I slowed down some. Thinking of possible problems, then I investigated my denial, and why life seems hard.

I denied that I knew what I wanted, that my behavior wasn't hurting anyone, and most of all I denied that medication and therapy didn't help at all. It was back and white thinking...

It took 15 years, of blaming others, and now I can accept the responsibility and take action.

It feels hard today, and when the solution pain isn't as bad as the current pain, then change happens.

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^ Good suggestion about the art, I would hate to go to a hospital (they don't offer art therapy or anything in this forest from what I've heard ugh ) (and I can't take the meds....)

Respect to all (good thread)

How old are you? Are you in good health? Do you have any loved ones?

Do you just want your pain to stop and that is why you want to end your life?

Are you absolutely certain that your situation will never improve? Do you have evidence for that?

Before you do anything, just really let the fact sink in that you only get one life to live and that is it. Unless there is an afterlife which I hope there is, we do not get to come back and experience life ever again. And after you commit the act, you will not be able to see how your ending has affected others and what the consequences of those actions are. And you could be missing out on some amazing times in your future.