conflicting thoughts about my disappearing childhood

when I wanted to create a thread on this, I felt upset, and sad that a lot of my childhood was no more- things I used to know, people I used to know, even places I used to know... now long gone.

but now as I post this thread (or go to post it), I find I am conflicted about it all.

the radio stations I used to like as a child have all closed down. the school I went to as a child burned to the ground, and a lot of people I know have either moved on with their lives or passed on- and honestly I don't know how to feel about it.

do I feel sad that it's all gone and I have nothing to hold on to?

or happy that a lot of my childhood was pretty bad, pretty abusive, so it's a good thing a lot of it is going

it's just the memories attached to it all, I guess. without those memories of the old school, the old radio stations, I have nothing to hold on to (in the last few years, certainly)

*just putting my thoughts out their*

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. When one gets to be my age everything is pretty-much gone (at least that's the way it is for me) unless one has (adult) children & perhaps grand (or even great-grand) children. My family-of-origin has all been gone for decades.

I haven't been back, for many years, to where I grew up & have no intention of ever doing so. I'm quite certain I wouldn't recognize the place. The house I lived my teenage years in burned down decades ago. I have no idea what's there now. Most of my childhood memories have disappeared too... except for the bad ones that continue to haunt me. For the most part, I'm glad it's all gone. Most of it wasn't worth the powder to blow it to... um... Hades... so to speak. Now it's just a matter of waiting around for the final curtain, as they say... sure is taking its sweet time getting here.

Unsure how to reply.... Sending hugs

I’m not sure how I feel about this either.
It’s sad but also… it’s a relief? Weirdly.

I’m really sorry that your childhood was bad though I hope things get better for you now

I feel very sad for some of the people I have lost. I still dream about them and sometimes forget they’re gone.
Honestly, I didn’t think I’d make it this far when I had my last bad relapse in 2016, I thought I wouldn’t live past that year.

I’m not really sure what to reply as I too feel like I don’t really know. Thanks for your thoughts @raging vortex
Sending hugs your way

today another peace of my childhood vanished.

read an article about the closure of a cafe that litirally was streets away