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  #1  
Old Jan 29, 2008, 05:18 PM
anna342's Avatar
anna342 anna342 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2007
Posts: 574
My mind is.

There is so much stuff that is buzzing around, I feel it and am paralysed thinking about it, sit crying unable to do anything. Then I'll get myself together eventually and try and write down what is bothering me. All the thoughts that I know are buzzing around. But I can't.

It's like my mind is so full of things I know need to be addressed and things making me unhappy. I can't get hold of them. I feel so full up of emotional stuff.

It's like I have no support IRL right now. I spoke to my one contact in the community team saying I kinda needed to speak with him quite soon and it was important. But he's too busy, so I cannot see him until next week.

I'm meant to be being closely monitered, or so I was told. So much for that.

I know I have people here to chat to, but I still need someone IRL who knows and understands me. Who can give advice knowing my true situation from a professional angle.

I feel lost, scared and lonely.

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  #2  
Old Jan 29, 2008, 05:22 PM
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mrsmoggles mrsmoggles is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2007
Location: california
Posts: 256
It's a messIt's a messIt's a mess
i am soooooo sorry, I know that feeling when you are overwhelmed and all the thoughts are a jumble in your brain making you sink to lows you never knew were possible...likke life is drowning you, choking the very breath you take to sustain life...i hope someone IRL reaches out to you...if not you can talk here, I am here...melanie
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"The night racks my bones, and the pain that gnaws me knows no rest," laments Job (The Holy Bible: New Revised Standard Version, Job 30:17).
  #3  
Old Jan 30, 2008, 12:02 AM
nowheretorun nowheretorun is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2003
Location: Rocky Mtn High, love all :)
Posts: 12,724
(((((anna)))))) take care...
  #4  
Old Jan 30, 2008, 02:57 PM
anna342's Avatar
anna342 anna342 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2007
Posts: 574
Why is it that when I ask for help from the people who are employed to help me I get left alone to self destruct. I hate myself more than anything right now. All I can do is get off my head with dodgy and perhaps fake diazepam. I don't think anyone could depise me as much as I do. I am pointless.
  #5  
Old Jan 30, 2008, 03:34 PM
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Cyran0 Cyran0 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,464
anna, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Sometimes the system fails us and the only thing I've found as a solution is to turn to each other. You're not pointless, you're just hurting.

Try to hold on. Go easy on yourself.

Be safe.

Cyran0
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My blog: http://cyran0.psychcentral.net/

Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse.

Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes


"I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac
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