[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

Ibeen feeling awful after my niece started yelling and threatening me today I feel like I can’t do anything right sadhug: around my niece or her boyfriend .

I feel sad to hear this, dear Buffy. They have something seriously wrong with them. It will be so nice when they've actually moved out.

[Samicat]

It's the last day of the month and my disability payment hasn't gone into my account. I'm on leave since June for depression and anxiety and stress.


I just sent an email to the adjuster. I had spoken to him earlier this month and told him what I was doing to get better (meditating and writing a bit, seeing a counsellor), and he said I sound "functional" and like I'm ready to return to work and he would have a rehab consultant contact me. This is completely wrong. I sent him an email advising him that I am not functional, tend to mask and downplay my symptoms, and just because I am pleasant on the phone (I have worked on the phones for 20+ years) doesn't mean I'm okay.


I asked that I be evaluated by a professional (since I recently lost my psychiatrist of 12 years to retirement) if any further proof of my condition is needed.


Later my GP told me she sent him a report from my psychiatrist advising that I should stay off work.


He never responded. Nobody ever told me I will not get my payment, but now I am worried. Must this be such a ****ing struggle? It's bad enough dealing with my illness without worrying about how I'm going to eat.

p.s. the payment usually goes in on around the 26th. It could be late but...

[3rd rock]

Originally Posted by Samicat

Hey there. I write too

I mostly write SF&F and have published short stories for money (although not much!). Am currently 7 chapters into a novel. Previously wrote a vampire novel but no publishers are looking at them thanks to the post-Twilight glut.


Anyway good luck. It's rewarding yet lonely at times. Do you have a writing group?

No, I don't have a writing group. I do have a friend of sorts who gives me feedback, and I have a few others I can ask to review material. I did this with my last novel, which was never published.

I have finished a first draft of a second chapter. It's terrible and the entire thing will have to be thrown out on rewrites, but I'm pressing ahead anyways. It's important to keep moving, so I can get to the later chapters which are much more interesting and exciting. Right now I'm just sounding out the plot and characters. I don't really outline, I prefer to 'pants' it, which takes longer. I do have an extensive notes file, but that's not a proper outline.

[Buffy01]

I been feeling really awful because of how my sister in a rude way when I mentioned sometimes I get really lonely at home that led her to start arguing which really hurt my feelings

[Samicat]

Well good luck with it. Writing is hard but also rewarding.

[Rose76]

Yesterday I was in good shape mentally. Ran errands, cleaned the kitchen, payed bills, showered. It felt so good to not be depressed.

[SlumberKitty]

My anxiety is better but my depression is worse. It's always one or the other.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

I feel sad to hear this, dear Buffy. They have something seriously wrong with them. It will be so nice when they've actually moved out.

I can’t wait until they leave.

Did my usual cleaning this morning. This time I was able to clean the floors because I got my mop handle delivered earlier this week. I didn't clean the floors with a mop last week because the handle had not arrived before last Saturday.

It's funny how I always seem to feel pretty good in the mornings. In the mornings, after breakfast, I tend to feel refreshed, invigorated, and alive. After lunch I feel more let down - tired and depressed. I usually have things to do in the mornings and then it seems like I run out of work before lunch. I don't know how to change that.

[Samicat]

Originally Posted by will19

Early this morning I went to the state income tax office to inquire about a refund that I had been waiting for. I was told that it hasn't been mailed out yet and it could be by the end of next month that I'll receive it. I went to that office a month ago and I was told it would be mailed out in December. When I went to that office a month ago, a man who worked with me was nice. Today I worked with a woman and she didn't seem as nice.

That sucks. I hope you get it soon. It can be so hard waiting for money to come in.

[Samicat]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

My anxiety is better but my depression is worse. It's always one or the other.

Yeah I find this too.

[Breaking Dawn]

Been depressed. I might be getting better.

[Buffy01]

I went for a walk thinking that it would improve my mood. I felt awful again again.

[Rose76]

I fekt good today. Got out of bed at a reasonable hour. Got dressed. Did some cooking and cleaning. Refilled a bird feeder. I like that daylight lasts longer.

[D-a-n]

I've hit a bad patch in life. My last therapist defined what I'm feeling as agitated depression. I hate this.

[3rd rock]

I managed to write about 10,000 words towards the first draft of my new novel this weekend. That's very good progress. I'm not trying to write the chapters in order but jumping back and forth to different spots based on my outline and writing different scenes. It's not ideal, because it means I'll have a lot more material I'll have to throw out and write anew in later drafts. But it's important to get this thing rolling and stop wallowing in hopelessness. For the final draft I've set a personal due date of March 1, 2024. This will give me about one year from when I started writing the first draft. I think that's a reasonable, practical goal.

I called in sick to work on Thursday night. I work nights, and I work a four-day week of ten-hour shifts. I called in sick because I was having trouble sleeping. I call in sick a lot less than I used to, this was just the first time I've called in sick this year. The last time I called in sick to work was in August of last year. That's not counting a couple of days I missed in December because I couldn't drive to work due to snow. Because of my substantially improved attendance, my income last year was significantly higher than the year before. I'm hoping that trend will continue.

[SlumberKitty]

Depression seems to be sucking me into a black hole. I hope I can hang onto some roots or something on my way down the hole so I don't fall all the way to the bottom.

[TheGal]

Originally Posted by D-a-n

I've hit a bad patch in life. My last therapist defined what I'm feeling as agitated depression. I hate this.

I'd get that confirmed or investigated by a good pdoc.

In my case, I was agitated, but it turned out to be major depression with psychotic features.

What meds do you take? And are you seeing a therapist and pdoc now?

[TheGal]

Originally Posted by TheGal

I'd get that confirmed or investigated by a good pdoc.

In my case, I was agitated, but it turned out to be major depression with psychotic features.

What meds do you take? And are you seeing a therapist and pdoc now?

Just checking in with you, @D-a-n

[Buffy01]

I have feeling really awful about myself.

[D-a-n]

Thanks for the info, TheGal. I don't have a therapist or psychiatrist right now, but I'm in the process of finding one. Hopefully soon. I'll ask about this when I get in to see someone.

[Buffy01]

My other sister is coming over and she always find ways to put me down as well as her son.

[SlumberKitty]

HUGS Buffy01

[SlumberKitty]

I have been pretty depressed lately. It's hard to shake. IDK what to do about it exactly. Guess I need to try some different coping skills.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

HUGS Buffy01

Thank You