[moodyblue83]

It seems to come and go. Like a wave . But it's here now and I'm stagnated like old rain in a puddle. I wish my high's were as strong as the lows. Although there are very few highs anymore.
My body is destroyed . My mind is muddied. Trying to hold on to my gratitude. I think I'm being very cautious because of surviving so much ***** and pain. I'm so tired. I feel like I'm complaining to my self. Anybody else out there afraid to tell how they feel because it makes you feel like you're complaining ?
And when my time come it won't makes one bit of difference.
Life goes on in a viciously circle.

[Yaowen]

I am so, so sorry that you are suffering. How awful! Depression is such a cruel and horrible illness. People not afflicted with it have no idea how much heroism it takes just to bear it. I admire people like you and you inspire me. At the same time, it is just heartbreaking what burdens you bear and the crushing weight they must be. I wish I knew what to say to help you. I am on medication for depression and have been hospitalized for it before. It is such a heartless illness. I hope you will find these Forums helpful to you. They have helped me feel less isolated and alone with the agony of it all. I wish you only the very, very best.

[Fuzzybear]

First, I apologize for this rambling post. I'm not severely depressed right now (thankfully) but as I used to be quite active in this forum I wanted to try to offer something... I came back to delete my post ... but I'll leave it just in case the presence of another might offer some small comfort.

I hope that there will be others who will reply and offer some truly comforting words (I am not good with words sometimes... like right now)

I'm sorry you're struggling. I don't read here very much lately, yes I've sometimes felt I'm ''complaining''... I rarely post anything here any more. Your pain is important, it's not ''just whining'' as someone somewhere once said to me.... I will not quote their complaining post to/about me. Please don't let anyone, including your inner critic,, bully you into silence. It' actually ''brave'' to reach out, who knows who is going to reply, it could be a 'wonderful reply with deep empathy for the pain of others, as the post above

or sometimes it might be less than compassionate. As you've found out though, most people here are kind and thoughtful.

I used to take meds for depression but can no longer tolerate them. I truly hope you find something that helps

Off topic

I once posted somewhere else i thought i was basically a ''good'' person, or at least i tried to be. The first reply was a trollish reply saying I probably wasn't ''good'' as I was ''convinced'' I was.... ''people usually''..., yeah ok.

I'm sorry, this probably isn't helpful although I had wanted to help. Please forgive my complaining post. (I've also been called ''a very quiet person, too passive', too needy, too talkative, too quiet...'' and all sorts of other things. Basically it doesn't matter if you are ''complaining'' or not, if it helps even a little to post, please keep posting. I'm not sure if you're seeing a therapist (?)

Trying to live in the moment does help me sometimes, in fact I'm overall doing better than I was some years ago. I send you love and hope

(and I apologize for the long and partly off topic post... I'm not the ''best'' poster here, especially right now