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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2012
Posts: 3,695
11 1,210 hugs
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#401
I felt a bit blue this morning. But I'm glad that the weekend is over. I felt better after lunch. I worked out in the late morning and had good music on like always. But there was work that had to be done out on the street nearby that was noisy, so that ruined the workout.
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![]() 3rd rock, T4bbyCat
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 566
5 6,118 hugs
given |
#402
I feel like I'm on the knife's edge, where I could go either way. I could get better and move past my current struggles with alcoholism, depression, and suicidality, or I could get worse and succumb to them once and for all.
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![]() AzulOscuro, T4bbyCat
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given ![]() |
#403
Hope you go with the first one and don’t get yourself fall. The temptation must be unbearable, sorry, folk.
__________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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![]() 3rd rock, T4bbyCat
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![]() 3rd rock
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: Drew’s lap
Posts: 895
2 204 hugs
given |
#404
Relieved.
I think maybe Drew sensed how worried I was that he'd leave after this season cause when he was interviewed today, he said he doesn't want to give up TPIR. I love him so much it's not funny. ![]() __________________ My heart has wi-fi and the password is Drew Carey. |
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![]() 3rd rock, T4bbyCat, unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2012
Posts: 3,695
11 1,210 hugs
given ![]() |
#405
Today was an extremely dull day. I had to put up with a lot of noise as there were tree trimming and mulching just outside of my window. I think there will be more tomorrow as there's a little parking lot that's been coned off. What's weird is that they have that little lot coned off but no note on it saying when they will be there.
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![]() 3rd rock, T4bbyCat
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,956
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,982 hugs
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#406
![]() ![]() __________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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![]() 3rd rock, mote.of.soul
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: Drew’s lap
Posts: 895
2 204 hugs
given |
#407
I just feel so drawn to Drew, like there's an invisible magnet pulling me towards him. He makes me feel safe and that's worth a lot.
![]() __________________ My heart has wi-fi and the password is Drew Carey. |
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![]() 3rd rock
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,956
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,982 hugs
given ![]() |
#408
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() __________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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![]() 3rd rock
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,603
(SuperPoster!)
13 5,459 hugs
given ![]() |
#409
I'm still doing pretty good, which is nice. One problem. I keep having bad dreams. This started just in recent months. Odd because 3 years ago - when I was newly alone - I seemed to never dream for a long time. The themes are weird. I just dreamed that my electricity went off and I couldn't find the fuse box outside. Awful tired today . . . but not depressed.
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![]() 3rd rock, AzulOscuro, unaluna
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Veteran Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Canada
Posts: 566
5 6,118 hugs
given |
#410
I'm feeling a bit better. I made it into work every day this week. I had a couple of meetings that went unexpectedly easily, although they were over minor issues. Next weekend is a long weekend, which I'm looking forward to. I did not contemplate suicide this past week. I ate very poorly, however I'm concerned with short term problems at the moment.
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![]() AzulOscuro, Rose76
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2012
Posts: 3,695
11 1,210 hugs
given ![]() |
#411
I was busy this morning. Nothing much in the afternoon. It's been gloomy all day and no bike riding because it's been raining. That's unusual for this time of year at where I am. I'm feeling depressed with so much time and not having much to do.
I don't know what's going on outside of where I live. There's a little dirt parking lot (enough for five or six cars) for the place and a sign just got put up saying "no parking" for Monday; and it's going to last a whole month. For some time, I've had a fantasy that the apartment where I live may go through a change and we'd have to leave. I haven't heard anything, but you never know. I'm feeling a some inner turmoil but maybe I'm over exaggerating. I'm having anxiety thinking there might be some parking problems for a whole month now. |
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![]() 3rd rock, AzulOscuro, Rose76
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,603
(SuperPoster!)
13 5,459 hugs
given ![]() |
#412
I was having an extended interval of not being depressed, which I was sure glad of. I've been deliberately, consciously trying to hold on and make that last.
Lately, I feel like I'm perched on a ledge, trying to stay there and avoid falling, but I'm getting tired of balancing on the ledge. Now I feel like letting go. I was kinda sticking to a daily routine, but today I don't feel energetic enough to stick with it. I'm not depressed at the moment, but just want to do nothing. It's probably dangerous to indulge that. |
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![]() 3rd rock
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2012
Posts: 3,695
11 1,210 hugs
given ![]() |
#413
Quote:
A typical day for me today. Nothing much except to do a little workout and wrote to others. I'm not feeling really depressed, but pensive. When I feel totally alright, I feel like it's kind of sinister - like feeling pretty good can be too good to be true. After all, something bad has to happen, right? Well, that's how my mind works unfortunately. |
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![]() 3rd rock
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,603
(SuperPoster!)
13 5,459 hugs
given ![]() |
#414
Well, I let go of my little routine that I'ld been sticking to . . . and I can feel how this could snowball into getting depressed. So I'm thinking about how awful the last episode of depression was and how I'ld really rather not go through that again.
So I'm telling myself to do something constructive this evening that I can feel good about, or risk getting swept over the waterfall. It feels like that can happen, if I don't start paddling my little canoe in a better direction. |
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![]() 3rd rock, FloatThruThis, unaluna
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: Drew’s lap
Posts: 895
2 204 hugs
given |
#415
I woke up sad today. Nothing's wrong, but I feel like I could cry and I have a deep desire to just stay in bed.
__________________ My heart has wi-fi and the password is Drew Carey. |
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![]() 3rd rock
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,565
(SuperPoster!)
13 67.9k hugs
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#416
Quote:
Jazz up the routine. Buy a new tea, or some flowers. Ive spent the last two weeks fretting about the city inspector visit. I am SO out of shape, it took me at least 20 work/rest sessions over the course of a week to clean the bathroom. Plus it was kinda sticky from a linty new rug, so yeah it was work. Now i just need to keep this momentum going. I think the inspector may come tomorrow, so i still have a lot of work to do. But the bathroom is magnificent! |
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![]() 3rd rock, FloatThruThis, Rose76
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![]() AzulOscuro, Rose76
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,603
(SuperPoster!)
13 5,459 hugs
given ![]() |
#417
Congratulations on your bathroom, @unaluna! For me, there's nothing like the high of completing a significant cleaning/organizing/decorating task. I step back . . . look at it . . . and just love myself for doing it.
Like Friday - I did outside work and put up my fall wreathes on the doors and some scarecrows and pumpkins. I was pleased as punch with the result. Today I continued going down the drain, but I just pulled out of that. No med change is called for. Tried all the pharmaceutical stuff in the past - to no avail. One antidepressant is a help, and I just continue with it. But resuming my routine helps. I bet, if I go buy a nice planter full of blooming mums at Home Depot for my front porch, it would do me a world of good. (That was a worthy suggestion.) |
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![]() 3rd rock, AzulOscuro, FloatThruThis, unaluna
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![]() unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
given ![]() |
#418
I’m just taking a break from my routines. I’m in surviving mood. I feel very sad for my doggy passing and I got a cold with nausea. So, I take it little by little.
The only relief is to take my other doggie out and take care of her. I’d like to be a stronger person because if I were I would do lots of things to socialise myself. I just meet two ladies who run a pet shelter and I know if I were stronger and could commit myself, I would be happier because thus that having the opportunity to socialise I could do something good for pets. Maybe when I feel a little better. I’ll contact them and try to arrive to a commitment I could fix to. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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![]() 3rd rock
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 40,565
(SuperPoster!)
13 67.9k hugs
given ![]() |
#419
I like the saying, God helps those who help themselves. I never understood it until i started actively pursuing a hobby, and doors started opening for me the more i tried new stuff. So i try to remind myself of that time (like 40 years ago!).
Anyway, as i said, the city inspectors are coming this week, so i went to throw out some trash and ran into the maintenance guy who told me i could get inspected on friday. What a relief! |
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![]() 3rd rock
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2012
Posts: 3,695
11 1,210 hugs
given ![]() |
#420
I'm feeling depressed today. My friend and I got into a fight yesterday (verbal, over the phone). So far this morning it's gloomy and so is my mood. And since having that fight yesterday, all that my mind can think about is how so many people have wronged me over the years. Maybe it's not as bad as I think, but that's how my mind works.
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![]() 3rd rock
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Thread | Forum | |||
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